10 which should be mentioned only briefly, and which should be excluded from the story altogether. This selection is what distinguishes the good storyteller from the bad one. The art consists in telling neither too much nor too little, but just enough to do justice to both facts and feelings. Making your stories lively, interesting and believable Minor details Carefully selected details, however minor they might seem, contribute to the effect of the whole. For example, consider how some of the drama of the narrative in “Man Overboard” disappears if the detail about the mysterious green monster that turned out to be a sleeping bag, or the even more mysterious, and frightfully more real, monster that dragged it down is omitted. Such details are not essential to the main line of the story, but each of them adds to its concreteness and vividness and hence to its interest and effectiveness. Concrete verbs One of the best ways to keep your readers’ interest and to make your writing accurate and vivid is to use verbs effectively. More than any other part of speech, verbs convey action. They tell what happened. Proper nouns A good way to make your writing more interesting and believable is to include proper nouns – names of specific persons, places, and things – which will help readers feel they are experiencing the story as they read it. Direct Quotation Using the exact words of a speaker also helps to make a story seem real. 11 TEXT 1 Man Overboard! By Thor Heyerdahl Thor Heyerdahl’s narrative is part of a book entitled “Kon – Tiki: Across the Pacific by Raft”. But the episode forms one complete story: 1. . On July 21 the wind suddenly died away again. It was oppressive and absolutely still, and we knew from previous experience what this might mean. And, right enough, after a few violent gusts from east and west and south the wind freshened up to a breeze from southward, where black, threatening clouds had again rushed up over the horizon. Herman was out with his anemometer all the time, measuring already fifty feet and more per second, when suddenly Torstein’s sleeping bag went overboard. And what happened in the next few seconds took a much shorter time than it takes to tell it. 2. Herman tried to catch the bag as it went, took a rash step and fell overboard. We heard a faint cry for help amid the noise of the waves and saw Herman’s head and a waving arm as well as some vague green object twirling about in the water near him. He was struggling for life to get back to the raft through the high seas which had lifted him out from the port side. Torstein, who was at the steering oar aft, and I myself, up in the bow, were the first to perceive him, and we went cold with fear. We bellowed “Man overboard!” at the top of our lungs as we rushed to the nearest life- saving gear. The others had not heard Herman’s cry because of the noise of the sea, but in a trice there was life and bustle on deck. Herman was an excellent swimmer, and, though we realized at once 12 that his life was at stake, we had a fair hope that he would manage to crawl back to the edge of the raft before it was too late. 3. Torstein, who was nearest, seized the bamboo drum round which was the line we used for the lifeboat, for this was within his reach. It was the only time on the whole voyage that this line got caught up. Herman was now on a level with the stern of the raft but a few yards away, and his last hope was to crawl to the blade of the steering oar and hang on to it. As he missed the end of the logs, he reached out for the oar blade, but it slipped away from him. And there he lay, just where experience had shown we could get nothing back. While Bengt and I launched the dinghy, Knut and Eric threw out the life belt. Carrying a long line, it hung ready for use on the corner of the cabin roof, but today the wind was so strong that when it was thrown it was simply blown back to the raft. After a few unsuccessful throws Herman was already far astern of the steering oar, swimming desperately to keep up with the raft, while the distance increased with each gust of wind. He realized that henceforth the gap would simply go on increasing, but he set a faint hope on the dinghy which we had now got into the water. Without the line, which acted as a brake, it would perhaps be possible to drive the rubber raft to meet the swimming man, but whether the rubber raft would ever get back to the Kon-Tiki was another matter. Nevertheless, three men in a rubber dinghy had some chance; one man in the sea had none. 4. Then we suddenly saw Knut take off and plunge headfirst into the sea. He had the life belt in one hand and was heaving himself along. Every time Herman’s head appeared on a wave back Knut was gone, and every time Knut came up Herman was not there. But then we saw both heads at once; they had swum to meet each other and both were hanging on to the life belt. Knut waved his arm, and, as the rubber raft had meanwhile been hauled on board, all four of us took hold of the line of the life belt and hauled for dear life, with our eyes fixed on the great dark object which was visible just behind the two men. This same mysterious beast in the water was pushing a big greenish-black triangle up above the wave crests; it almost gave Knut a shock when he was on his way over to Herman. Only Herman knew then that the triangle did not belong to a shark or any other sea monster. It was an inflated corner of Torstein’s water-tight sleeping 13 bag. But the sleeping bag did not remain floating for long after we had hauled the two men safe and sound on board. Whatever dragged the sleeping bag down into the depths had just missed a better prey. 5. “Glad I wasn’t in it,” said Torstein and took hold of the steering oar where he had let it go. 6. But otherwise there were not many wisecracks that evening. We all felt a chill running through nerve and bone for a long time afterward. But the cold shivers were mingled with a warm thankfulness that there were still six of us on board. Explain what is meant by: 1. It was oppressive and absolutely still and we knew from previous experience what this might mean. 2. Herman tried to catch the bag as it went, took a rash step and fell overboard. 3. The others had not heard Herman’s cry because of the noise of the sea, but in a trice there was life and bustle on deck. 4. Then we suddenly saw Knut take off and plunge headfirst into the sea. 5. Whatever dragged the sleeping bag down into the depth had just missed a better prey. QUESTIONS FOR STUDY AND DISCUSSION 1. Point out the role of the setting in the story. What mood does it create? How does it contribute to creating suspense? 2. Point out the inciting incident that gave rise to the further actions. 3. Discuss why or why not “Then everything began to happen fast” would have been preferable to “And what happened in the next few seconds took a much shorter time than it takes to tell it” (Paragraph 1, last sentence). 4. Point out the details that would be omitted if the story were told from the point of view of Herman (Knut, Torstein). 14 5. Comment on the structure of the sentence “Nevertheless, three men in a rubber dinghy had some chance; one man in the sea had none” (Paragraph 3). 6. Find the climax of the story. Account for your choice. 7. Some sentences or words were probably uttered during the incident? Why do you think Heyerdahl chose to include only Torstein’s remark (Paragraph 5)? 8. Try to find a phrase or sentence that sums up each of the six paragraphs. These “titles” for the different parts of the narrative should suggest the relationship between them. 9. Write out some verbs that the author has employed to make his writing concrete, accurate and expressive. EXPAND YOUR VOCABULARY Match the words in Column A with their definitions in Column B A B 1) oppressive a) to pull sth/sb with a lot of effort 2) to perceive b) filled with gas or air 3) in a trice c) busy and noisy activity 4) inflated d) (of the weather) extremely hot and unpleasant and lacking fresh air 5) prey e) very quickly or suddenly 6) gust f) a sudden strong increase in the amount and speed of wind that is blowing 7) bustle g) to lift, pull or throw sb/sth very heavy with one great effort 8) to heave h) a person who is harmed or deceived by sb, especially for dishonest purposes 9) to haul i) to notice or become aware of sth 15 YOUR TURN Write a narrative essay on one of the following assignments: 1. The Kon-Tiki expedition. Rewrite the incident from Herman’s (Torstein’s) point of view. Remember that some of the details should be omitted while some others added. 2. Evading an accident, a disaster or a failure. Make sure that your writing has all the necessary parts of the plot. Select the details, as well as the verbs, adverbs and adjectives, carefully. 3. The Armenian “Kilikia” (Cilicia) expedition. The route the crew took. Its impact on our people and on foreigners. 16 TEXT 2 The Gun in the Desk /part I/ Do you like detective stories? Why?/Why not? What are the strong points of the following story? 1. On my first day at Filmore High School I found more excitement than I had bargained for. Shortly after being seated in my homeroom, I reached into the desk to store my new notebook and my fingers touched an object that was cold and metallic. Moving it toward me, but carefully protecting it from the gaze of my fellow students, I saw that it was a handgun. 2. Naturally, I was frightened. The closest I had ever come to a gun before was playing with my water pistol when I was six years old. But this was the real thing. When I looked around, it seemed that everyone else was busy filling out book receipts. I decided that as soon as the class had left the room I would turn the gun over to my teacher. 3. All sorts of wild thoughts were running through my mind. Had the gun been used in a crime? Were there fingerprints on it? Would the police believe my story? Was I going to get blamed for something? 4. I wasn’t listening to the teacher’s instructions, but she must have been talking about fire drill regulations because in a moment the gongs began to go off, and everyone rose dutifully to march out of the building. 5. I pushed the gun in as far as it could go, covered it with my notebook, and joined the end of the line just as the teacher was about to scold me for dragging my feet. In a fog, I staggered down the stairs, across the lawn, and out onto the street. My active imagination was recalling all the TV mystery shows I had seen. Could I have 17 stumbled on a murder weapon? Whose gun was it? What was going on? Could I get into trouble? 6. After the fire drill was over, we re-entered the building. Now I raced up the stairs, stepping on the heels of the slowpoke ahead of me. Even the teacher remarked about my haste to return to the classroom. 7. As soon as I was seated, I thrust my hand into the desk. It wasn’t there! It wasn’t there! I looked around quickly, feeling everyone’s eyes on my neck. Once again my hand explored the inside of the desk. I bent over and looked. It was definite-the gun was gone. 8. I was out of my seat in a flash, heading for the teacher’s desk, when a redheaded girl across the aisle tripped me up. She leaned over me as I lay sprawled on the floor and hissed in my ear. “You didn’t see a thing. Get it. Shorty?” 9. I nodded, picked myself up slowly and went back to my seat. So far I haven’t told a soul about the disappearing gun. I don’t want to get involved. Below is a scrambled list of the important events that happened in the story. Put the events in the order in which they took place, looking back at the story if you find it necessary. 1. I found a handgun in my desk. 2. The girl across the aisle tripped me up and said “You didn’t see a thing.” 3. The class left the room for a fire drill. 4. I hurried back when the class re-entered the building. 5. I entered homeroom for my first day in high school. 6. I decided to turn the gun in to the teacher when the class left the room. 7. I haven’t told anyone about the disappearing gun because I don’t want to get involved. 8. The gun was gone from the desk. How do you think the actions will develop? 18 The Gun in the Desk /part II/ 10. Three weeks had passed since my first day at Filmore High School. I kept my mouth shut about the gun which had appeared momentarily in my desk and then mysteriously vanished during the fire drill. The red-haired girl who had frightened me into silence glared in my direction for the first few days but she had been absent regularly since then. Slowly I began to erase the troublesome incident from my consciousness, and my fear began to fade. “GUN SOUGHT IN ARMORED CAR ROBBERY. GUARD SHOT” 11. The startling headline in our local paper during the last week in September brought the whole story back to my mind with a rush. Three masked young thieves, one of them thought to be a red-haired girl, had held up an armored car and wounded its driver in the course of the robbery. He was in critical condition, given only a 50-50 chance to survive. If the gun could be recovered, the police said, they would have an excellent chance of identifying the thieves and capturing them. 12. What to do? Should I inform on the girl? Maybe it was just a coincidence? My parents had always cautioned me to stay out of trouble. What to do? 13. The next day, I was surprised to see the red-haired girl in school. Summoning up all my nerve I said to her, “I am going to tell about the gun.” “How old are you?” she asked. “Fifteen.” “If you want to be sixteen, you’ll forget about it. We know where you live.” 14. The tone of her voice was so threatening that my courage flew out the window. I came home that afternoon more mixed up than ever but determined not to stick my neck out. 15. My parents went to play bingo that evening, leaving me alone to do my homework. It was no use. How could I concentrate on 19 geometry when the vision of that gun kept blotting out my textbook? Suddenly there came a knocking at the door. “Who’s there?” I stammered. “Open up, we want to talk to you.” It was a girl’s voice. 16. I ran to the back of the house to slip out through the kitchen. Just as I opened the door a man tried to force his way in. I slammed the door on his leg and darted back to the living room, turning out all the lights as I ran. 17. I picked up the phone and was dialing the police when I heard the window glass being broken in the front parlor. I crawled behind the door and as the girl and her partner came through the window I fled out the front door in my stockinged feet, going forty miles an hour, my heart pounding like a jackhammer in my chest. 18. At the corner of Main and Maple Streets I ran headlong into traffic and was almost run over by a cruising police car. The chase was over; the thieves would be caught. In talking to the detective later, I heard how my unwillingness to get involved had led to the near death of the armored car driver. It was an expensive way for me to get an education, but I learned the terrible price of fear. Here is another way the story might have been written. Read it over and decide whether it is as interesting as the original. Then try to draw up some reasons for preferring one story or the other. Three weeks had passed and I began to forget the mysterious gun in the desk. After the first few days, the red-headed girl was absent from class. Then I read in the newspaper about an armored car robbery where the driver had been shot and had only a 50-50 chance of living. One of the robbers was thought to be a redheaded girl! I didn’t know what to do. Then, the next day, the girl was back in school. I told her I was going to tell about the gun. She threatened me. That made me change my mind about saying anything. I was alone that night when a man and a girl tried to break into our house. I managed to get away and reach a cruising patrol car. The thieves were caught. The armored car driver lived, but I had learned a lesson about the price of fear. . Heyerdahl’s narrative is part of a book entitled “Kon – Tiki: Across the Pacific by Raft”. But the episode forms one complete story: 1. . On July 21 the wind suddenly. omitted while some others added. 2. Evading an accident, a disaster or a failure. Make sure that your writing has all the necessary parts of the plot. Select