Integrated Essay - 129 When the reading time is up, the reading passage will leave the screen. It will be replaced by the lecture. As you listen: 1. Look at the Lecture side of your note map. 2. Anticipate the counter argument using the black-and-white rule. 3. Listen for signal words that identify the opinion, the body paragraphs and the conclusion. Note the cause-and-effect relationship in each. TASK: Take notes as you listen to a lecture on teleconferencing. Lecture G however Ti however C Ti however C Ti however C C however Listen to the lecture; summarize it. Step #2 CD Track #3 130 - Integrated Essay y When the lecture ends, it will leave your computer screen. The reading passage will return. You will also see the prompt. TASK: Using the reading notes already illustrated and your lecture notes, write a first draft using either point-by-point or block style. Type your essay. Don’t time yourself. Just write. Replay the lecture as needed for practice. Check your first draft for coherence using the Integrated Essay Proficiency Checklist on page 314. TASK: Rate your teleconferencing essay using the Integrated Essay Rating Guide on page 316. Prompt Summarize the points made in the lecture and show how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading. Read the prompt; write a first draft. Step #3 Check your first draft for Coherence using OPDUL=C. Step #4 Revise your first draft using your revision checklist. Step #5 Submit your essay. Step #6 Integrated Essay - 131 Check the following integrated essay for proficiency using OPDUL=C. What problems can you identify? According to OPDUL=C, this essay demonstrates: A lack of language use-paraphrasing (OPDUL=C), specifically word choice. A lack of unity-synthesis (OPDUL=C), specifically topical unity. A lack of development-summarization (OPDUL=C) of the introductions, the bodies and the conclusions. Combined, these three problem areas result in a lack of coherence (OPDUL=C). Let’s analyze each so you can avoid these mistakes on test day. He argues that zoos are a bad investment. In addition, she claims that zoos have value. First, he says that zoos are a waste of money. They use money that could help poor neighborhoods. Moreover, she argues against this. Next, he claims that zoos are not good for animals. He uses many clear examples, such as small cages. Also, she argues that he is totally wrong about that. Finally, he contends that zoos take up valuable land. In addition, she gets really angry about that. In sum, he argues that zoos are a waste of money. In conclusion, she disagrees. Three Common Problems 1 2 3 132 - Integrated Essay y Look at the sample essay once again. Note he and she. Because he and she are not identified, we do not know who represents the reading and who represents the lecture. This results in a lack of language-use paraphrasing, specifically word choice (OPDUL =C), and a lack of topical unity-synthesis (OPDUL=C). Next, look at how he and she have been replaced by the reading and the lecturer . He argues that zoos are a bad investment. In addition, she claims that zoos have value. First, he says that zoos are a waste of money. They use money that could help poor neighborhoods. Moreover, she argues against this. Next, he claims that zoos are not good for animals. He uses many clear examples, such as small cages. Also, she argues that he is totally wrong about that. Finally, he contends that zoos take up valuable land. In addition, she gets really angry about that. In sum, he argues that zoos are a waste money. In conclusion, she disagrees. The reading argues that zoos are a bad investment. In addition, the lecturer claims that zoos have value. First, the reading says that zoos are a waste of money. They use money that could help poor neighborhoods. Moreover, the lecturer argues against this. Next, the reading claims that zoos are not good for animals. The reading uses many clear examples, such as small cages. Also, the professor in the lecture argues that the reading is totally wrong about that. Finally, the reading contends that zoos take up valuable land. In addition, the lecturer gets really angry about that. In sum, the reading argues that zoos are a waste money. In conclusion, the lecturer disagrees. Lack of Language Use-Paraphrasing 1 Integrated Essay - 133 Note the transitions in the sample essay below. They are transitions of addition (adding information). They should be transitions of contrast. This demonstrates a lack of proficient language use-paraphrasing, specifically word choice (OPDUL =C), and a lack of unity-synthesis, both grammatical and topical (OPDU L=C). Next, look at how the writer is now using transitions of contrast. This demonstrate unity-synthesis and language use-paraphrasing and (OPDUL=C). The reading argues that zoos are a bad investment. In addition, the lecturer claims that zoos have value. First, the reading says that zoos are a waste of money. They use money that could help poor neighborhoods. Moreover, the lecturer argues against this. Next, the reading claims that zoos are not good for animals. The reading uses many clear examples, such as small cages. Also, the professor in the lecture argues that the reading is totally wrong about that. Finally, the reading contends that zoos take up valuable land. In addition, the lecturer gets really angry about that. In sum, the reading argues that zoos are a waste of money. In conclusion, the lecturer disagrees. The reading argues that zoos are a bad investment. However, the lecturer claims that zoos have value. First, the reading says that zoos are a waste of money. They use money that could help poor neighborhoods. Conversely, the lecture argues against this. Next, the reading claims that zoos are not good for animals. The reading uses many clear examples, such as small cages. On the contrary, the professor in the lecture argues that the reading is totally wrong about that. Finally, the reading contends that zoos take up valuable land. In contrast, the lecturer gets really angry about that. In sum, the reading argues that zoos are a waste of money. Countering that, the lecturer disagrees. Lack of Unity-Synthesis 2 134 - Integrated Essay y When summarizing the main points in the reading and in the lecture, make sure that you identify and describe the cause-and-effect relationship in the opinions, the body paragraphs and the conclusions. The cause-and-effect relationships are the reasons each arguer gives to defend his or her position. Lack of development-summarization (OPDUL=C), especially in the body paragraphs, is a big reason why integrated essays receive a low score. The reading argues that zoos are a bad investment. However, the lecturer claims that zoos have value. First, the reading says that zoos use money that could help poor neighborhoods. For example, in Washington DC, the zoo got more tax money than the public schools. As a result, many schools closed but the zoo got a new elephant exhibit. Conversely, the lecturer argues that the money for the elephant exhibit was donations. She also says that the Washington DC school problem is due to bad government not a lack of tax money. Next, the reading claims that zoos are not good for animals like the panda. It cannot breed in captivity. The reading says the panda would do better in the wild. On the contrary, the professor in the lecture argues that the panda’s habitat is disappearing. Returning pandas to the wild is not an option. Finally, the reading contends that zoos take up valuable land that could be used to build houses. This would create jobs. In contrast, the lecturer argues that building houses is a short-term solution to job creation. Building zoos would create permanent jobs. In sum, the reading argues that zoos are not a good investment. Countering that, the lecturer claims that we need zoos to save wild animals from extinction. Building zoos is how we can invest in the environment. Lack of Development-Summarization 3 Warning!! Integrated Essay - 135 Mapped out, you can see how G+3TiC=C gives the writing raters what they are trained to look for: a coherent integrated essay that demonstrates OPDUL=C . Transitions (T) are in bold, supporting illustrations (i) in italics, the opinions (G) and the conclusions (C) underlined . G = general = The reading argues that zoos are a bad investment. However, the lecturer claims that zoos have value. TiC = specific = First, the reading says that zoos use money that could help poor neighborhoods. For example, in Washington DC, the zoo got more tax money than the public schools. As a result, many schools closed but the zoo got a new elephant exhibit . Conversely, the lecturer argues that the money for the elephant exhibit was donations. She also says that the Washington DC school problem is due to bad government not a lack of tax money. TiC = specific = Next, the reading claims that zoos are not good for animals like the panda. It cannot breed in captivity. The reading says the panda would do better in the wild. On the contrary, the professor in the lecture argues that the panda’s habitat is disappearing. Returning pandas to the wild is not an option. TiC = specific = Finally, the reading contends that zoos take up valuable land that could be used to build houses. This would create jobs. In contrast, the lecturer argues that building houses is a short term solution to job creation. Building zoos would create permanent jobs . C = general = In sum, the reading argues that zoos are not a good investment. Countering that, the lecturer claims that we need zoos to save wild animals from extinction. Building zoos is how we can invest in the environment. ETS says: “An effective [integrated essay] would be 150-225 words.” How many words is the integrated essay above? 225 words. TASK: Rate the zoo essay above using the Integrated Essay Rating Guide on page 316. Compare your rating to the one on page 339. Remember! Q A 136 - Integrated Essay y D TASK: For each of the following tasks, use G+3TiC=C and the six steps to demonstrate OPDUL=C in your argument-counter argument integrated essay. Check each for proficiency using the Integrated Essay Proficiency Checklist on page 314. Rate each using the Integrated Essay Rating Guide on page 316. Directions: Read the following passage. You have 3 minutes. Now listen to a lecture on the same topic. Writing Practice Task #1 Many of my colleagues will disagree, but I believe that the time is right to legalize marijuana. Yes, this is a hot-button issue; however, there are good reasons why the growing and selling of marijuana should no longer be a criminal offense in the United States. First, the federal government needs money. A lot of money. The federal deficit is now running into the trillions. Where is the tax money going to come from to pay off this massive debt? Marijuana. According to Business Week Magazine, “if the cost of retailing and distributing marijuana is the same for cigarettes, then the taxes from marijuana would be approximately $40 to $100 billion per year.” As you can see, marijuana would be an excellent source of tax revenue to help pay off the national debt. A new source of tax revenue is not the only benefit of legalizing marijuana. Once marijuana is legalized, the crime rate will dramatically drop. By reducing marijuana related-crimes, state and national police agencies, for example, will be able to focus their limited resources on other crimes such as border security and terrorism. Let’s face it, the so-called “War on Drugs” has been a dismal failure. Isn’t it time to wake up to the fact that marijuana is here to stay? Finally, there is the issue of choice. If I have the right to drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes, why shouldn’t I have the right to smoke marijuana? The Constitution clearly states that every American has the right to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” According to the Constitution, I have the right to enjoy marijuana just like many enjoy alcohol and tobacco. And if marijuana kills me, just like alcohol and tobacco kill millions every year, that is my right and my choice too. By legalizing marijuana, this double standard will end. CD Track #4 Integrated Essay - 137 After listening to the lecture, read the prompt. TASK: You have 20 minutes to write your response. Directions: Read the following passage. You have 3 minutes. Now listen to a lecture on the same topic. In the late eighteenth century, just after the revolution, a young America was looking for heroes it could call its own. They found one in Christopher Columbus. By sailing to the New World, Columbus left the old world behind, a world dominated by kings and nobles who controlled the land. By leaving the old in search of the new, Columbus symbolized America’s determination to break free of Britain and King George the Third and establish a new republic free of old world tyranny and enslavement. Later, in the early nineteenth century, Americans viewed Columbus as the symbol of progress. Columbus was seen as a free man, a pioneer seeking new lands and new fortunes, a fearless adventurer much like the tens of thousands of Americans streaming west, risking their lives seeking fortune in new, unexplored territories west of the Mississippi. Americans were indeed bold and courageous. They liked their heroes the same way. Columbus fit the mold perfectly. America of today, much like America of the past, is a country of contrasts and fragmentation. Political parties and religions proclaim their individual messages while regional boundaries divide us between north and south, east and west. Yet what brings us together as Americans is the name Christopher Columbus. Now, and in the past, we see in Columbus a man who embodies the spirit of freedom in which the right to “pursue life, liberty and happiness” is alive and well. Now you can see why Americans consider Columbus to be one of our nation’s founding fathers, right up there with George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. Next Columbus Day, spend some time thinking about what Christopher Columbus means to America. CD Track #5 Task #2 Prompt Summarize the points made in the lecture and show how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading. 138 - Integrated Essay y After listening to the lecture, read the prompt. TASK: You have 20 minutes to write your response. Directions: Read the following passage. You have 3 minutes. Now listen to a lecture on the same topic. A rising trend in education is online schools. Google “online schools” and you will get thousands of hits with schools offering every type of diploma and degree. But is an online education all its cracked up to be? Let the facts speak for themselves. One of the big attractions of enrolling in an online school is convenience. However, many distance learners fall into the trap of thinking that they can fit an online course into their schedules. Just log on after work or on the weekend, and the homework gets done. If only it were so easy. A flexible schedule takes a lot of discipline, especially if you’re a working parent with a family to look after. In fact, the drop out rate for e-courses is very high. A report in the Chronicle of Higher Education found that “drop out rates range from 20-50% for distance learners as compared to 10-20% for their face-to-face counterparts.” Obviously, flexibility is not always a good thing. Another issue is credibility. Think about it: Do you want a degree from an internet school nobody’s heard of, or do you want a degree from a brick- and-mortar university? Many students still want the name of an established academic institution on their resume. One unfortunate student, however, enrolled in an online school only to graduate and learn that the school had a bad reputation among Human Resource professionals. Who looks at your resume first? The people in Human Resources. Then there is the issue of personal interaction. Part of an on-campus education is to meet face-to-face with your professors and peers. Such interaction is a vital part of the educational process yet it has been eliminated with the rise of e-courses. If you are the type of student who needs regular, face-to-face student-teacher interaction, then an e-course would not be a wise investment. Task #3 CD Track #6 Prompt Summarize the points made in the lecture and show how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading. . identify and describe the cause -and- effect relationship in the opinions, the body paragraphs and the conclusions. The cause -and- effect relationships are the. Anticipate the counter argument using the black -and- white rule. 3. Listen for signal words that identify the opinion, the body paragraphs and the conclusion.