Are you funny? Want to have a career in comedy? This book can show you how to turn your sense of humour into a money-making career—and that's no joke! Whether you yearn to create a killer stand-up act, write a sitcom, or be the star of your own one-person show, Judy Carter will help you develop your comedy skills and show you how to make money from being funny. Written in Carter's unique, take-no-prisoners voice, The Comedy Bible is practical, inspirational and funny. Using a hands-on workbook format, Judy Carter offers a series of day-by-day exercises drawn from her wide experience as both a comic and comedy writer. Learn not only how to write jokes, speeches and scripts, but also where to sell them, how to pitch them, and even how to negotiate a contract. Along with providing additional 'insider' tips from her celebrity friends, Carter shows you ways you can turn comedy into cash that you have never thought of before. 'Until comedians can enrol in a comedy 101 humourversity course at the school of hard knock-knocks, this is the next best thing/ Wil Anderson Judy Carter started her career as a stand-up comic, headlining in clubs across the U.S. and being featured on over 100 TV shows. She founded Comedy Workshops in Los Angeles, where she trains wannabe comics as well as produces the annual California Comedy Conference. Many top Hollywood agents, managers, producers and casting directors attend this key comedy event, and it has become the place to get discovered. She has caught the imagination of the corporate world with her novel technique of 'turning problems into punchlines'. Her first book, Standup Comedy: The Book, has sold over 150,000 copies. 'Turning humor into a career is not as easy as it sounds. In The Comedy Bible, Judy Carter has made it much easier.' Bernie Brillstein, founding partner of Brillstein-Grey Entertainment, Hollywood's premier talent manager who oversaw the careers of John Belushi, Gilda Radner and Dan Ackroyd. 'This is a fine book and can improve your standup comedy as long as you don't take it up on stage with you.' Garry Shandling, comic 'I started my comedy career in Judy Carter's workshop.' Tom Shadyac, director of Bruce Almighty, Patch Adams, Liar Liar, The Nutty Professor and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective 'This book is a great hands-on, how-to guide for anyone considering a career in comedy. It will teach you to take life's lemons and make them into laughs. Cindy Chupack, author of The Between Boyfriends Book and award-winning writer and producer of Sex and the City and Everybody Loves Raymond Judy Carter has appeared in clubs across the US, as well as on many TV shows, has coached over 5,000 comics in comedy workshops, and has brought her message of 'turning problems into punchlines' to Fortune 500 companies. She has been featured in The Wall Street Journal and on Oprah. THE COMEDY BIBLE JUDY CARTER From stand-up to sitcom . The comedy writer's ultimate how-to guide CURRENCY PRESS, SYDNEY BY THE SAME AUTHOR Stand-Up Comedy: The Book Acknowledgments I t takes a lot of people to make a book like this happen, especially if the writer is someone who got a D in high school English. Special thanks to: Chuck Adams, my editor and friend, who by this time could headline at any comedy club. Jandy Nelson, my agent at Manus & Associates Lit- erary Agency, who showed me that lunch with an agent could be a lot of fun, especially if you don't remember where you've parked your car. Margot Black, for assisting in arranging interviews. Kathy Fielding, for transcribing everything, and Julie Gardner, for all her assistance in running comedy workshops and putting up with me when I'm not so funny. Ben Richardson, for your talent, jokes, commas, and breaking me out of a record-breaking writer's block. Gina Rubinstein, who next time will be more careful before saying. "Sure, I'll give it a read." All of my students, who taught me much more than I taught them. The comedy professionals who contributed time and material to this book—Bernie Brillstein, Bruce Hills, Bruce Smith, Carol Leifer, Cathy Ladman, Chris Adams, Chris Mazzilli, Christopher Titus, Cindy Chu- pack, Dean Lewis, Debbie Kasper, Delilah Romos, Diane Nichols, Ed Yeager, Ellen Sandler, Emily Levine, Gabe Adelson, George Wallace. Greg Proops, Irene Penn, Judi Brown. Kathy Griffen. Kathy Anderson, Leigh Fortier, Lilly Walters, Mark Travis, Michael Hanel, Michelle Marx, Phyl- lis Diller, Richard Jeni, Richard Lewis, Rob Lotterstein, Robin Roberts, Robin Scruff, Rocky LaPorte, Steve Marmel, Sue Kolinsky, Susan Leslie, Sybil Adelman Sage, T. J. Markvvalter, Tim Bagley, Tom Dreeson, Tom Shadyac, Wendy Kamenoff. Sarah Levctt, a gorgeous AND funny Australian comic who was bril- liant in putting together the appendix for the 'Down Under' edition of The Comedy Bible. Content? About This Book 19 Part One: Warm-up—Is There Any Hope for You? 2S What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up? 27 Performing Comedy 27 Writing Comedy 28 Marketing Corned)' 30 The Right Stuff—Do You Have What It Takes? 32 The Yuk Factor 32 You Are As Funny As You Think 33 Starting with Your Ideas 36 Habits: Honoring Your Ideas 39 The Funnv Zone 41 Getting into the Zone 42 Comedy . Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid 44 Fear—It's a Good Thing 4.5 Comedy Buddies: Finding Your Fun Mate 50 Quit While You're Ahead 5 1 Commitment Contract 55 The Comedy Bible's Ten Commandments 56 Part Two: Comedy Workshop 61 26 Days to Killer Comedy Material 63 Day 1: Get a Gig 66 Day 2: Learn Joke Structure—the Setup 69 Day 3: Learn Joke Structure—the Funny Part (Comedy Buddy Day) 82 Day 4: Learn by Watching 101 Day 5: Your Life Is a Joke—Finding Your Authentic Topics (Comedy Ruddy Day) 111 Day 6: Writing More Authentic Premises 118 Day 7: More Authentic Topics (Comedy Buddy Day) 119 Day 8: Fine-Tuning Your Topics—Relatable Topics 125 Days 9, 10, 11: Getting It Funny (3-Day jam Session with Your Comedy Buddy) 132 Day 12: Organizing Your Set List 137 Day 13: Honing Your Material (Comedy Buddy Day) 144 Day 14: Getting Ready to Perform (Comedy Buddy Day) 154 Day 15: Dress Rehearsal (Comedy Buddy Day) 157 Day 16: Your Gig 161 Day 17: Celebrate 165 Day 18: Performance Review—Reworking Material 165 Day 19: Adding Current-Event Material (Comedy Buddy Day) 171 Day 20: Creating Cutting-Edge Premises 177 Day 21: Topic Runs 180 Day 22: Honing Material—"Take Two" 185 Day 23: Throwing Out the Clunkers 190 Day 24: Getting Ready for Your Second Performance 192 Day 25: Performance 200 Day 26: About Last Night . . . How Good Were You? 200 Advanced Stand-up Exercise: 203 Living Funny 203 Daily Exercises to Generate Comedy Material 204 Creating Your Own One-Person Show 212 How lo Pul Together Your Own One-Person Show 217 Mounting a Production 224 19 Days to Writing Your Sitcom Spec Script 226 Top Ten Reasons for Writing Sitcoms 226 Spec Scripts 227 Preparation for Writing a Spec Script—2 to 8 Weeks 228 Prep Step 1: Picking a Show 229 Prep Step 2: Get Scripts and VHS Copies of Your Show 230 Prep Step 3: Dissect the Show 231 Prep Step 4: Understanding Sitcom Structure 233 Prep Step 5: Sitcom Formatting 235 Prep Step 6: Starting at the End 238 Prep Step 7: Committing to Finishing 239 Sitcom Day 1: Getting Sitcom Story Ideas 240 Sitcom Day 2: Turning Life Stories into Sitcom Plots 244 Sitcom Day 3: Turning Current Events into Sitcom Stories 246 Sitcom Day 4: Honing in on Your Sitcom Plot 247 Sitcom Day 5: From Joke Structure to Story Structure 249 Sitcom Day 6: The Story Arc 251 Sitcom Day 7: The Outline 254 Sitcom Day 8: Detailing Your Outline 256 Sitcom Day 9: Writing the Burn Draft 257 Sitcom Day 10: The Story Pass—Trimming 258 Sitcom Day 11: The Story Pass—Heighten the Obstacles 259 Sitcom Day 12: The Story Pass—Structure 260 Sitcom Day 13: Punch-up Pass—Getting It Funny 260 Sitcom Day 14: Getting It Funnier 261 Sitcom Day 15: Color Pass 261 Sitcom Day 16: Read-through 261 Sitcom Day 17: Rewrite 262 Sitcom Day 18: Getting Read 263 Sitcom Day 19: Final Rewrite 264 Other Comedy Fields 265 Writing for Other Comics 265 Writing and Performing for Radio Shows 266 Improv 267 TV Warm-up 268 Humor Essays, Opinion Pieces, and Articles 269 Motivational Humorist 271 Part Three: funny Money 273 Carter's 3-Step Comedy Business Strategy 275 Comedy Menu 276 Step 1: Get Good 282 Getting Good Tip # I: Create a Ton of Material 282 [...]... understands me then I'll feel misunderstood then I'll feel bad then it will get back to my agent then I will lose my agent then I'll get a better agent then I'll have better gigs then I '11 have a better career then I'll be performing at places where everyone understands me Your List If then then then then then then then then then Step 5 Take Action Fear is like the school bully... meetings with your comedy buddy at certain points in the process Take out your Palm Pilots and commit to a schedule Day 3 (time and date) place Day 5 (time and date) place The setup is not the funny part of a joke, but ii is the most important pan If you can't get the audience interested at the beginning of a joke, they are not going to be there at the end of the joke Audiences make up their minds very... of all comedy forms If you know how to write a joke, you will be able to translate that skill into writing scripts, articles, and other comedy forms If you're wondering where the tenth commandment is, then congratulations You're already starting to notice the weird, the stupid, and the odd Exercise: Your Creative Process Where are you the most creative? In the living room, bed, or maybe on the toilet?... reason I use these words when coaching—they work In the process of doing countless workshops, I've discovered two things: these attitude words bring about the best results, and even when everyone starts with similar altitudes and the same topics, they all create totally different jokes Even Beethoven started out playing scales on the piano This is the beginning of the creating process Later there will... to his inner comic "I felt the moment," he said about his decision to retire the show in 1998 "I knew from being onstage for years and years and years, there's one moment where you have to feel the audience is still having a great time, and if you get off right there, they walk out of the theater excited And yet, if you wait a little bit longer and try to give them more for their money, t hey walk out... who perform supplement their income by writing Q Speechwriting for other comics And then there are those funny people who have never done stand-up themselves but who write it for others, such as funnyman bites so that they get noticed, win over their audiences, and don't get Bruce Vilanch, who writes for Betle Midler and the Academy Awards show • Many CEOs and politicians turn to comedy writers to provide... have any, then just keeping writing about anything—your dreams, your revenge fantasies, anything They don't have to be funny Just the act of writing down these ideas will keep the mental pipeline open The morning is the best time to write Keep the paper and a pen by your bed so that when you wake up, all you need to do is reach over and start writing If you need coffee badly, then prepare it the night... wonder, then, that many politicians have a staff of comedy writers working for them so that they don't become big jokes themselves They know also that ideas presented with humor become the sound biles that make the six o'clock news And of course, advertisers know that commercials that make a jaded TV audience laugh will move merchandise more effectively than any other method Even Hallmark employs comedy. .. stand-up at the Improv at $25 a night, and now he produces comedy TV shows making millions Conan O'Brien and Garry Shandling were both sitcom writers before they became comedy stars In 1978 David Letterman was a joke writer for Jimmie "Dy-No-Mite" Walker The Zucker brothers and )itn Abrahams, who created and directed the movies Airplane!, Naked Gun, and Ghost, began their careers in a comedy improv... with Seinfeld and we always bounced material off each other When we had a bit that wasn't working, other New York comics would say, 'Try this and try that.' In New York, comics tend to hang out together and network and get other jobs, where in L.A., they have cars and they've got to get back to their respective counties." Exercise: Finding the Right Comedy Buddy Make a list of five friends who you would . putting together the appendix for the 'Down Under' edition of The Comedy Bible. Content? About This Book 19 Part One: Warm-up—Is There Any Hope. companies. She has been featured in The Wall Street Journal and on Oprah. THE COMEDY BIBLE JUDY CARTER From stand-up to sitcom . The comedy writer's ultimate