12 Rules for Life an Antidote to Chaos

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JordanB Peterson 12RULESFORLIFE AnAntidoteforChaos ForewordbyNormanDoidge IllustrationsbyEthanVanScriver TableofContents ForewordbyNormanDoidge Overture /Standupstraightwithyourshouldersback RULE1 /Treatyourselflikesomeoneyouareresponsibleforhelping RULE2 RULE3 /Makefriendswithpeoplewhowantthebestforyou /Compareyourselftowhoyouwereyesterday,nottowhosomeoneelseistoday RULE4 /Donotletyourchildrendoanythingthatmakesyoudislikethem RULE5 /Setyourhouseinperfectorderbeforeyoucriticizetheworld RULE6 /Pursuewhatismeaningful(notwhatisexpedient) RULE7 /Tellthetruth—or,atleast,don’tlie RULE8 /Assumethatthepersonyouarelisteningtomightknowsomethingyoudon’t RULE9 /Bepreciseinyourspeech RULE10 /Donotbotherchildrenwhentheyareskateboarding RULE11 /Petacatwhenyouencounteroneonthestreet RULE12 Coda Endnotes Acknowledgements FollowPenguin Foreword Rules?Morerules?Really?Isn’tlifecomplicatedenough,restrictingenough,withoutabstract rulesthatdon’ttakeourunique,individualsituationsintoaccount?Andgiventhatourbrains areplastic,andalldevelopdifferentlybasedonourlifeexperiences,whyevenexpectthatafew rulesmightbehelpfultousall? Peopledon’tclamourforrules,evenintheBible…aswhenMosescomesdownthe mountain,afteralongabsence,bearingthetabletsinscribedwithtencommandments,andfinds theChildrenofIsraelinrevelry They’dbeenPharaoh’sslavesandsubjecttohistyrannical regulationsforfourhundredyears,andafterthatMosessubjectedthemtotheharshdesert wildernessforanotherfortyyears,topurifythemoftheirslavishness Now,freeatlast,theyare unbridled,andhavelostallcontrolastheydancewildlyaroundanidol,agoldencalf, displayingallmannerofcorporealcorruption “I’vegotsomegoodnews…andI’vegotsomebadnews,”thelawgiveryellstothem “Whichdoyouwantfirst?” “Thegoodnews!”thehedonistsreply “IgotHimfromfifteencommandmentsdowntoten!” “Hallelujah!”criestheunrulycrowd “Andthebad?” “Adulteryisstillin.” Sorulestherewillbe—but,please,nottoomany Weareambivalentaboutrules,evenwhen weknowtheyaregoodforus Ifwearespiritedsouls,ifwehavecharacter,rulesseem restrictive,anaffronttooursenseofagencyandourprideinworkingoutourownlives Why shouldwebejudgedaccordingtoanother’srule? Andjudgedweare Afterall,Goddidn’tgiveMoses“TheTenSuggestions,”hegave Commandments;andifI’mafreeagent,myfirstreactiontoacommandmightjustbethat nobody,notevenGod,tellsmewhattodo,evenifit’sgoodforme Butthestoryofthegolden calfalsoremindsusthatwithoutruleswequicklybecomeslavestoourpassions—andthere’s nothingfreeingaboutthat Andthestorysuggestssomethingmore:unchaperoned,andlefttoourownuntutored judgment,wearequicktoaimlowandworshipqualitiesthatarebeneathus—inthiscase,an artificialanimalthatbringsoutourownanimalinstinctsinacompletelyunregulatedway The oldHebrewstorymakesitclearhowtheancientsfeltaboutourprospectsforcivilized behaviourintheabsenceofrulesthatseektoelevateourgazeandraiseourstandards OneneatthingabouttheBiblestoryisthatitdoesn’tsimplylistitsrules,aslawyersor legislatorsoradministratorsmight;itembedstheminadramatictalethatillustrateswhywe needthem,therebymakingthemeasiertounderstand Similarly,inthisbookProfessorPeterson doesn’tjustproposehistwelverules,hetellsstories,too,bringingtobearhisknowledgeof manyfieldsasheillustratesandexplainswhythebestrulesdonotultimatelyrestrictusbut insteadfacilitateourgoalsandmakeforfuller,freerlives ThefirsttimeImetJordanPetersonwasonSeptember12,2004,atthehomeoftwomutual friends,TVproducerWodekSzembergandmedicalinternistEsteraBekier ItwasWodek’s birthdayparty WodekandEsteraarePolishémigréswhogrewupwithintheSovietempire, whereitwasunderstoodthatmanytopicswereofflimits,andthatcasuallyquestioningcertain socialarrangementsandphilosophicalideas(nottomentiontheregimeitself)couldmeanbig trouble Butnow,hostandhostessluxuriatedineasygoing,honesttalk,byhavingelegantparties devotedtothepleasureofsayingwhatyoureallythoughtandhearingothersdothesame,inan uninhibitedgive-and-take Here,therulewas“Speakyourmind.”Iftheconversationturnedto politics,peopleofdifferentpoliticalpersuasionsspoketoeachother—indeed,lookedforward toit—inamannerthatisincreasinglyrare SometimesWodek’sownopinions,ortruths, explodedoutofhim,asdidhislaugh Thenhe’dhugwhoeverhadmadehimlaughorprovoked himtospeakhismindwithgreaterintensitythanevenhemighthaveintended Thiswasthe bestpartoftheparties,andthisfrankness,andhiswarmembraces,madeitworthprovoking him Meanwhile,Estera’svoiceliltedacrosstheroomonaveryprecisepathtowardsits intendedlistener Truthexplosionsdidn’tmaketheatmosphereanylesseasygoingforthe company—theymadeformoretruthexplosions!—liberatingus,andmorelaughs,andmaking thewholeeveningmorepleasant,becausewithde-repressingEasternEuropeanslikethe Szemberg-Bekiers,youalwaysknewwithwhatandwithwhomyouweredealing,andthat franknesswasenlivening HonorédeBalzac,thenovelist,oncedescribedtheballsandparties inhisnativeFrance,observingthatwhatappearedtobeasinglepartywasalwaysreallytwo In thefirsthours,thegatheringwassuffusedwithboredpeopleposingandposturing,and attendeeswhocametomeetperhapsonespecialpersonwhowouldconfirmthemintheir beautyandstatus Then,onlyintheverylatehours,aftermostoftheguestshadleft,wouldthe secondparty,therealparty,begin Heretheconversationwassharedbyeachpersonpresent, andopen-heartedlaughterreplacedthestarchyairs AtEsteraandWodek’sparties,thiskindof wee-hours-of-the-morningdisclosureandintimacyoftenbeganassoonasweenteredtheroom Wodekisasilver-haired,lion-manedhunter,alwaysonthelookoutforpotentialpublic intellectuals,whoknowshowtospotpeoplewhocanreallytalkinfrontofaTVcameraand wholookauthenticbecausetheyare(thecamerapicksuponthat) Heofteninvitessuchpeople tothesesalons ThatdayWodekbroughtapsychologyprofessor,frommyownUniversityof Toronto,whofitthebill:intellectandemotionintandem WodekwasthefirsttoputJordan Petersoninfrontofacamera,andthoughtofhimasateacherinsearchofstudents—becausehe wasalwaysreadytoexplain Andithelpedthathelikedthecameraandthatthecameraliked himback ThatafternoontherewasalargetablesetoutsideintheSzemberg-Bekiers’garden;aroundit wasgatheredtheusualcollectionoflipsandears,andloquaciousvirtuosos Weseemed, however,tobeplaguedbyabuzzingpaparazziofbees,andherewasthisnewfellowatthe table,withanAlbertanaccent,incowboyboots,whowasignoringthem,andkeptontalking Hekepttalkingwhiletherestofuswereplayingmusicalchairstokeepawayfromthepests, yetalsotryingtoremainatthetablebecausethisnewadditiontoourgatheringswasso interesting Hehadthisoddhabitofspeakingaboutthedeepestquestionstowhoeverwasatthistable— mostofthemnewacquaintances—asthoughhewerejustmakingsmalltalk Or,ifhediddo smalltalk,theintervalbetween“HowdoyouknowWodekandEstera?”or“Iwasabeekeeper once,soI’musedtothem”andmoreserioustopicswouldbenanoseconds Onemighthearsuchquestionsdiscussedatpartieswhereprofessorsandprofessionalsgather, butusuallytheconversationwouldremainbetweentwospecialistsinthetopic,offinacorner, orifsharedwiththewholegroupitwasoftennotwithoutsomeonepreening ButthisPeterson, thougherudite,didn’tcomeacrossasapedant Hehadtheenthusiasmofakidwhohadjust learnedsomethingnewandhadtoshareit Heseemedtobeassuming,asachildwould—before learninghowdulledadultscanbecome—thatifhethoughtsomethingwasinteresting,thenso mightothers Therewassomethingboyishinthecowboy,inhisbroachingofsubjectsasthough wehadallgrownuptogetherinthesamesmalltown,orfamily,andhadallbeenthinkingabout theverysameproblemsofhumanexistenceallalong Petersonwasn’treallyan“eccentric”;hehadsufficientconventionalchops,hadbeena Harvardprofessor,wasagentleman(ascowboyscanbe)thoughhedidsaydamnandbloodya lot,inarural1950ssortofway Buteveryonelistened,withfascinationontheirfaces,because hewasinfactaddressingquestionsofconcerntoeveryoneatthetable Therewassomethingfreeingaboutbeingwithapersonsolearnedyetspeakinginsuchan uneditedway Histhinkingwasmotoric;itseemedheneededtothinkaloud,tousehismotor cortextothink,butthatmotoralsohadtorunfasttoworkproperly Togettoliftoff Notquite manic,buthisidlingspeedrevvedhigh Spiritedthoughtsweretumblingout Butunlikemany academicswhotakethefloorandholdit,ifsomeonechallengedorcorrectedhimhereally seemedtolikeit Hedidn’trearupandneigh He’dsay,inakindoffolksyway,“Yeah,”and bowhisheadinvoluntarily,wagitifhehadoverlookedsomething,laughingathimselffor overgeneralizing Heappreciatedbeingshownanothersideofanissue,anditbecameclearthat thinkingthroughaproblemwas,forhim,adialogicprocess Onecouldnotbutbestruckbyanotherunusualthingabouthim:foraneggheadPetersonwas extremelypractical Hisexampleswerefilledwithapplicationstoeverydaylife:business management,howtomakefurniture(hemademuchofhisown),designingasimplehouse, makingaroombeautiful(nowaninternetmeme)orinanother,specificcaserelatedto education,creatinganonlinewritingprojectthatkeptminoritystudentsfromdroppingoutof schoolbygettingthemtodoakindofpsychoanalyticexerciseonthemselves,inwhichthey wouldfree-associateabouttheirpast,presentandfuture(nowknownastheSelf-Authoring Program) Iwasalwaysespeciallyfondofmid-Western,Prairietypeswhocomefromafarm(where theylearnedallaboutnature),orfromaverysmalltown,andwhohaveworkedwiththeir handstomakethings,spentlongperiodsoutsideintheharshelements,andareoftenself- educatedandgotouniversityagainsttheodds Ifoundthemquiteunliketheirsophisticatedbut somewhatdenaturedurbancounterparts,forwhomhighereducationwaspre-ordained,andfor thatreasonsometimestakenforgranted,orthoughtofnotasanendinitselfbutsimplyasalife stageintheserviceofcareeradvancement TheseWesternersweredifferent:self-made, unentitled,handson,neighbourlyandlesspreciousthanmanyoftheirbig-citypeers,who increasinglyspendtheirlivesindoors,manipulatingsymbolsoncomputers Thiscowboy psychologistseemedtocareaboutathoughtonlyifitmight,insomeway,behelpfulto someone Webecamefriends Asapsychiatristandpsychoanalystwholovesliterature,Iwasdrawnto himbecauseherewasaclinicianwhoalsohadgivenhimselfagreatbookseducation,andwho notonlylovedsoulfulRussiannovels,philosophyandancientmythology,butwhoalsoseemed totreatthemashismosttreasuredinheritance Buthealsodidilluminatingstatisticalresearch onpersonalityandtemperament,andhadstudiedneuroscience Thoughtrainedasa behaviourist,hewaspowerfullydrawntopsychoanalysiswithitsfocusondreams,archetypes, thepersistenceofchildhoodconflictsintheadult,andtheroleofdefencesandrationalizationin everydaylife Hewasalsoanoutlierinbeingtheonlymemberoftheresearch-oriented DepartmentofPsychologyattheUniversityofTorontowhoalsokeptaclinicalpractice Onmyvisits,ourconversationsbeganwithbanterandlaughter—thatwasthesmall-town PetersonfromtheAlbertahinterland—histeenageyearsrightoutofthemovieFUBAR— welcomingyouintohishome ThehousehadbeenguttedbyTammy,hiswife,andhimself,and turnedintoperhapsthemostfascinatingandshockingmiddle-classhomeIhadseen Theyhad art,somecarvedmasks,andabstractportraits,buttheywereoverwhelmedbyahugecollection oforiginalSocialistRealistpaintingsofLeninandtheearlyCommunistscommissionedbythe USSR NotlongaftertheSovietUnionfell,andmostoftheworldbreathedasighofrelief, Petersonbeganpurchasingthispropagandaforasongonline PaintingslionizingtheSoviet revolutionaryspiritcompletelyfilledeverysinglewall,theceilings,eventhebathrooms The paintingswerenottherebecauseJordanhadanytotalitariansympathies,butbecausehewanted toremindhimselfofsomethingheknewheandeveryonewouldratherforget:thathundredsof millionsweremurderedinthenameofutopia Ittookgettingusedto,thissemi-hauntedhouse“decorated”byadelusionthathadpractically destroyedmankind Butitwaseasedbyhiswonderfulanduniquespouse,Tammy,whowasall in,whoembracedandencouragedthisunusualneedforexpression!Thesepaintingsprovideda visitorwiththefirstwindowontothefullextentofJordan’sconcernaboutourhumancapacity forevilinthenameofgood,andthepsychologicalmysteryofself-deception(howcanaperson deceivehimselfandgetawaywithit?)—aninterestweshare Andthentherewerealsothe hourswe’dspenddiscussingwhatImightcallalesserproblem(lesserbecauserarer),the humancapacityforevilforthesakeofevil,thejoysomepeopletakeindestroyingothers, capturedfamouslybytheseventeenth-centuryEnglishpoetJohnMiltoninParadiseLost Andsowe’dchatandhaveourteainhiskitchen-underworld,walledbythisoddart collection,avisualmarkerofhisearnestquesttomovebeyondsimplisticideology,leftorright, andnotrepeatmistakesofthepast Afterawhile,therewasnothingpeculiarabouttakingteain thekitchen,discussingfamilyissues,one’slatestreading,withthoseominouspictureshovering Itwasjustlivingintheworldasitwas,orinsomeplaces,is InJordan’sfirstandonlybookbeforethisone,MapsofMeaning,heshareshisprofound insightsintouniversalthemesofworldmythology,andexplainshowallcultureshavecreated storiestohelpusgrapplewith,andultimatelymap,thechaosintowhichwearethrownatbirth; thischaosiseverythingthatisunknowntous,andanyunexploredterritorythatwemust traverse,beitintheworldoutsideorthepsychewithin Combiningevolution,theneuroscienceofemotion,someofthebestofJung,someofFreud, muchofthegreatworksofNietzsche,Dostoevsky,Solzhenitsyn,Eliade,Neumann,Piaget,Frye andFrankl,MapsofMeaning,publishednearlytwodecadesago,showsJordan’swide-ranging approachtounderstandinghowhumanbeingsandthehumanbraindealwiththearchetypal situationthatariseswheneverwe,inourdailylives,mustfacesomethingwedonotunderstand Thebrillianceofthebookisinhisdemonstrationofhowrootedthissituationisinevolution, ourDNA,ourbrainsandourmostancientstories Andheshowsthatthesestorieshave survivedbecausetheystillprovideguidanceindealingwithuncertainty,andtheunavoidable unknown Oneofthemanyvirtuesofthebookyouarereadingnowisthatitprovidesanentrypoint intoMapsofMeaning,whichisahighlycomplexworkbecauseJordanwasworkingouthis approachtopsychologyashewroteit Butitwasfoundational,becausenomatterhowdifferent ourgenesorlifeexperiencesmaybe,orhowdifferentlyourplasticbrainsarewiredbyour experience,weallhavetodealwiththeunknown,andweallattempttomovefromchaosto order Andthisiswhymanyoftherulesinthisbook,beingbasedonMapsofMeaning,havean elementofuniversalitytothem MapsofMeaningwassparkedbyJordan’sagonizedawareness,asateenagergrowingupinthe midstoftheColdWar,thatmuchofmankindseemedonthevergeofblowinguptheplanetto defendtheirvariousidentities Hefelthehadtounderstandhowitcouldbethatpeoplewould sacrificeeverythingforan“identity,”whateverthatwas Andhefelthehadtounderstandthe ideologiesthatdrovetotalitarianregimestoavariantofthatsamebehaviour:killingtheirown citizens InMapsofMeaning,andagaininthisbook,oneofthemattershecautionsreadersto bemostwaryofisideology,nomatterwhoispeddlingitortowhatend Ideologiesaresimpleideas,disguisedasscienceorphilosophy,thatpurporttoexplainthe complexityoftheworldandofferremediesthatwillperfectit Ideologuesarepeoplewho pretendtheyknowhowto“maketheworldabetterplace”beforethey’vetakencareoftheir ownchaoswithin (Thewarrioridentitythattheirideologygivesthemcoversoverthatchaos.) That’shubris,ofcourse,andoneofthemostimportantthemesofthisbook,is“setyourhouse inorder”first,andJordanprovidespracticaladviceonhowtodothis Ideologiesaresubstitutesfortrueknowledge,andideologuesarealwaysdangerouswhen theycometopower,becauseasimple-mindedI-know-it-allapproachisnomatchforthe complexityofexistence Furthermore,whentheirsocialcontraptionsfailtofly,ideologues blamenotthemselvesbutallwhoseethroughthesimplifications AnothergreatUofT professor,LewisFeuer,inhisbookIdeologyandtheIdeologists,observedthatideologiesretool theveryreligiousstoriestheypurporttohavesupplanted,buteliminatethenarrativeand psychologicalrichness CommunismborrowedfromthestoryoftheChildrenofIsraelinEgypt, withanenslavedclass,richpersecutors,aleader,likeLenin,whogoesabroad,livesamongthe enslavers,andthenleadstheenslavedtothepromisedland(theutopia;thedictatorshipofthe proletariat) Tounderstandideology,JordanreadextensivelyaboutnotonlytheSovietgulag,butalsothe HolocaustandtheriseofNazism Ihadneverbeforemetaperson,bornChristianandofmy generation,whowassoutterlytormentedbywhathappenedinEuropetotheJews,andwhohad workedsohardtounderstandhowitcouldhaveoccurred Itoohadstudiedthisindepth My ownfathersurvivedAuschwitz Mygrandmotherwasmiddle-agedwhenshestoodfacetoface withDr JosefMengele,theNaziphysicianwhoconductedunspeakablycruelexperimentson hisvictims,andshesurvivedAuschwitzbydisobeyinghisordertojointhelinewiththeelderly, thegreyandtheweak,andinsteadslippingintoalinewithyoungerpeople Sheavoidedthegas chambersasecondtimebytradingfoodforhairdyesoshewouldn’tbemurderedforlooking tooold Mygrandfather,herhusband,survivedtheMauthausenconcentrationcamp,butchoked todeathonthefirstpieceofsolidfoodhewasgiven,justbeforeliberationday Irelatethis, becauseyearsafterwebecamefriends,whenJordanwouldtakeaclassicalliberalstandforfree speech,hewouldbeaccusedbyleft-wingextremistsasbeingaright-wingbigot Letmesay,withallthemoderationIcansummon:atbest,thoseaccusershavesimplynot donetheirduediligence Ihave;withafamilyhistorysuchasmine,onedevelopsnotonly radar,butunderwatersonarforright-wingbigotry;butevenmoreimportant,onelearnsto recognizethekindofpersonwiththecomprehension,tools,goodwillandcouragetocombatit, andJordanPetersonisthatperson Myowndissatisfactionwithmodernpoliticalscience’sattemptstounderstandtheriseof Nazism,totalitarianismandprejudicewasamajorfactorinmydecisiontosupplementmy studiesofpoliticalsciencewiththestudyoftheunconscious,projection,psychoanalysis,the regressivepotentialofgrouppsychology,psychiatryandthebrain Jordanswitchedoutof politicalscienceforsimilarreasons Withtheseimportantparallelinterests,wedidn’talways agreeon“theanswers”(thankGod),butwealmostalwaysagreedonthequestions Ourfriendshipwasn’talldoomandgloom Ihavemadeahabitofattendingmyfellow professors’classesatouruniversity,andsoattendedhis,whichwerealwayspacked,andIsaw whatnowmillionshaveseenonline:abrilliant,oftendazzlingpublicspeakerwhowasathis bestriffinglikeajazzartist;attimesheresembledanardentPrairiepreacher(notin evangelizing,butinhispassion,inhisabilitytotellstoriesthatconveythelife-stakesthatgo withbelievingordisbelievingvariousideas) Thenhe’djustaseasilyswitchtodoa breathtakinglysystematicsummaryofaseriesofscientificstudies Hewasamasterathelping studentsbecomemorereflective,andtakethemselvesandtheirfuturesseriously Hetaught themtorespectmanyofthegreatestbookseverwritten Hegavevividexamplesfromclinical practice,was(appropriately)self-revealing,evenofhisownvulnerabilities,andmade fascinatinglinksbetweenevolution,thebrainandreligiousstories Inaworldwherestudents aretaughttoseeevolutionandreligionassimplyopposed(bythinkerslikeRichardDawkins), Jordanshowedhisstudentshowevolution,ofallthings,helpstoexplaintheprofound psychologicalappealandwisdomofmanyancientstories,fromGilgameshtothelifeofthe Buddha,EgyptianmythologyandtheBible Heshowed,forinstance,howstoriesabout journeyingvoluntarilyintotheunknown—thehero’squest—mirroruniversaltasksforwhich thebrainevolved Herespectedthestories,wasnotreductionist,andneverclaimedtoexhaust theirwisdom Ifhediscussedatopicsuchasprejudice,oritsemotionalrelativesfearand disgust,orthedifferencesbetweenthesexesonaverage,hewasabletoshowhowthesetraits evolvedandwhytheysurvived Aboveall,healertedhisstudentstotopicsrarelydiscussedinuniversity,suchasthesimple factthatalltheancients,fromBuddhatothebiblicalauthors,knewwhateveryslightlywornoutadultknows,thatlifeissuffering Ifyouaresuffering,orsomeoneclosetoyouis,that’ssad Butalas,it’snotparticularlyspecial Wedon’tsufferonlybecause“politiciansaredimwitted,” or“thesystemiscorrupt,”orbecauseyouandI,likealmosteveryoneelse,canlegitimately describeourselves,insomeway,asavictimofsomethingorsomeone Itisbecauseweareborn humanthatweareguaranteedagooddoseofsuffering Andchancesare,ifyouorsomeoneyou loveisnotsufferingnow,theywillbewithinfiveyears,unlessyouarefreakishlylucky Rearingkidsishard,workishard,aging,sicknessanddeatharehard,andJordanemphasized thatdoingallthattotallyonyourown,withoutthebenefitofalovingrelationship,orwisdom, orthepsychologicalinsightsofthegreatestpsychologists,onlymakesitharder Hewasn’t scaringthestudents;infact,theyfoundthisfranktalkreassuring,becauseinthedepthsoftheir psyches,mostofthemknewwhathesaidwastrue,eveniftherewasneveraforumtodiscussit —perhapsbecausetheadultsintheirliveshadbecomesonaivelyoverprotectivethatthey deludedthemselvesintothinkingthatnottalkingaboutsufferingwouldinsomewaymagically protecttheirchildrenfromit Herehewouldrelatethemythofthehero,across-culturalthemeexploredpsychoanalytically byOttoRank,whonoted,followingFreud,thatheromythsaresimilarinmanycultures,a themethatwaspickedupbyCarlJung,JosephCampbellandErichNeumann,amongothers WhereFreudmadegreatcontributionsinexplainingneurosesby,amongotherthings,focusing onunderstandingwhatwemightcallafailed-herostory(thatofOedipus),Jordanfocusedon triumphantheroes Inallthesetriumphstories,theherohastogointotheunknown,intoan unexploredterritory,anddealwithanewgreatchallengeandtakegreatrisks Intheprocess, somethingofhimselfhastodie,orbegivenup,sohecanberebornandmeetthechallenge Thisrequirescourage,somethingrarelydiscussedinapsychologyclassortextbook Duringhis recentpublicstandforfreespeechandagainstwhatIcall“forcedspeech”(becauseitinvolvesa governmentforcingcitizenstovoicepoliticalviews),thestakeswereveryhigh;hehadmuchto lose,andknewit Nonetheless,Isawhim(andTammy,forthatmatter)notonlydisplaysuch courage,butalsocontinuetolivebymanyoftherulesinthisbook,someofwhichcanbevery demanding Isawhimgrow,fromtheremarkablepersonhewas,intosomeoneevenmoreableand assured—throughlivingbytheserules Infact,itwastheprocessofwritingthisbook,and developingtheserules,thatledhimtotakethestandhedidagainstforcedorcompelledspeech Andthatiswhy,duringthoseevents,hestartedpostingsomeofhisthoughtsaboutlifeand theserulesontheinternet Now,over100millionYouTubehitslater,weknowtheyhavestruck achord Givenourdistasteforrules,howdoweexplaintheextraordinaryresponsetohislectures,which giverules?InJordan’scase,itwasofcoursehischarismaandararewillingnesstostandfora principlethatgothimawidehearingonlineinitially;viewsofhisfirstYouTubestatements quicklynumberedinthehundredsofthousands Butpeoplehavekeptlisteningbecausewhathe issayingmeetsadeepandunarticulatedneed Andthatisbecausealongsideourwishtobefree ofrules,weallsearchforstructure seethevictoryoftheattitude(itistherationalorthescientificattitude)ofeliminatingour theories,ouropinions,byrationalcriticism,insteadofeliminatingeachother.”From Popper,K (1977) “Naturalselectionandtheemergenceofmind.”Lecturedeliveredat DarwinCollege,Cambridge,UK See http://www.informationphilosopher.com/solutions/philosophers/popper/natural_selection_and_the 147 ThisisdetailedintheintroductiontoPeterson,J.B (1999) Mapsofmeaning:the architectureofbelief NewYork:Routledge 148 Adler,A (1973) “Life-lieandresponsibilityinneurosisandpsychosis:acontributionto melancholia.”InP Radin(Trans.) ThepracticeandtheoryofIndividualPsychology Totawa,N.J.:Littlefield,Adams&Company 149 Milton,J (1667) ParadiseLost Book1:40-48 Retrievedfrom https://www.dartmouth.edu/~milton/reading_room/pl/book_1/text.shtml 150 Milton,J (1667) ParadiseLost Book1:249-253 Retrievedfrom https://www.dartmouth.edu/~milton/reading_room/pl/book_1/text.shtml 151 Milton,J (1667) ParadiseLost Book1:254-255 Retrievedfrom https://www.dartmouth.edu/~milton/reading_room/pl/book_1/text.shtml 152 Milton,J (1667) ParadiseLost Book1:261-263.Retrievedfrom https://www.dartmouth.edu/~milton/reading_room/pl/book_1/text.shtml 153 ThisisdetailedintoPeterson,J.B (1999) Mapsofmeaning:Thearchitectureofbelief NewYork:Routledge 154 Hitler,A (1925/2017) Meinkampf(M Roberto,Trans.) IndependentlyPublished,pp 172-173 155 Finkelhor,D.,Hotaling,G.,Lewis,I.A &Smith,C (1990) “Sexualabuseinanational surveyofadultmenandwomen:prevalence,characteristics,andriskfactors.”ChildAbuse &Neglect,14,19-28 156 Rind,B.,Tromovitch,P &Bauserman,R (1998) “Ameta-analyticexaminationof assumedpropertiesofchildsexualabuseusingcollegesamples.”PsychologicalBulletin, 124,22-53 157 Loftus,E.F (1997) “Creatingfalsememories.”ScientificAmerican,277,70-75 158 TakenfromRogers,C R (1952) “Communication:itsblockinganditsfacilitation.”ETC: AReviewofGeneralSemantics,9,83-88 159 SeeGibson,J.J (1986) Anecologicalapproachtovisualperception,NewYork: PsychologyPress,fortheclassictreatiseonthisissue SeealsoFloel,A.,Ellger,T., Breitenstein,C &Knecht,S (2003) “Languageperceptionactivatesthehandmotor cortex:implicationsformotortheoriesofspeechperception.”EuropeanJournalof Neuroscience,18,704-708foradiscussionoftherelationshipbetweenspeechandaction Foramoregeneralreviewoftherelationshipbetweenactionandperception,see Pulvermüller,F.,Moseley,R.L.,Egorova,N.,Shebani,Z &Boulenger,V (2014) “Motor cognition–motorsemantics:Actionperceptiontheoryofcognitionandcommunication.” Neuropsychologia,55,71-84 160 Cardinali,L.,Frassinetti,F.,Brozzoli,C.,Urquizar,C.,Roy,A.C &Farnè,A (2009) “Tool-useinducesmorphologicalupdatingofthebodyschema.”CurrentBiology,12,478479 161 Bernhardt,P.C.,Dabbs,J.M Jr.,Fielden,J.A &Lutter,C.D (1998) “Testosterone changesduringvicariousexperiencesofwinningandlosingamongfansatsportingevents.” Physiology&Behavior,65,59-62 162 Some,butnotallofthis,isdetailedinGray,J &McNaughton,N (2003) The neuropsychologyofanxiety:Anenquiryintothefunctionsoftheseptal-hippocampalsystem Oxford:OxfordUniversityPress SeealsoPeterson,J.B (2013) “Threeformsofmeaning andthemanagementofcomplexity.”InT Proulx,K.D Markman&M.J Lindberg(Eds.) Thepsychologyofmeaning(pp 17-48) Washington,D.C.:AmericanPsychological Association;Peterson,J.B &Flanders,J.L (2002) “Complexitymanagementtheory: Motivationforideologicalrigidityandsocialconflict.”Cortex,38,429-458 163 Yeats,W.B (1933)TheSecondComing InR.J Finneran(Ed.) ThepoemsofW.B Yeats: Anewedition NewYork:MacMillan,p 158 164 AsreviewedinVrolix,K (2006) “Behavioraladaptation,riskcompensation,risk homeostasisandmoralhazardintrafficsafety.”SteunpuntVerkeersveiligheid,RA-2006-95 Retrievedfrom https://doclib.uhasselt.be/dspace/bitstream/1942/4002/1/behavioraladaptation.pdf 165 Nietzsche,F.W &Kaufmann,W.A (1982) TheportableNietzsche NewYork:Penguin Classics,pp 211-212 166 Orwell,G (1958) TheroadtoWiganPier NewYork:Harcourt,pp 96-97 167 Carson,R (1962) Silentspring Boston:HoughtonMifflin 168 seehttp://reason.com/archives/2016/12/13/the-most-important-graph-in-the-world 169 http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/earth/earthnews/9815862/Humans-are-plague-on-EarthAttenborough.html 170 “TheEarthhascancer,andthecancerisman.”Mesarović,M.D &Pestel,E (1974) Mankindattheturningpoint NewYork:Dutton,p Theideawasfirstproposed(andthe quotetakenfrom)Gregg,A (1955) “Amedicalaspectofthepopulationproblem.”Science, 121,681-682,p 681andfurtherdevelopedbyHern,W.M (1993) “Hasthehumanspecies becomeacancerontheplanet?Atheoreticalviewofpopulationgrowthasasignof pathology.”CurrentWorldLeaders,36,1089-1124 FromtheClubofRome’sKing,A & Schneider,B (1991) Thefirstglobalrevolution NewYork:PantheonBooks,p 75:“The commonenemyofhumanityisman Insearchingforanewenemytouniteus,wecameup withtheideathatpollution,thethreatofglobalwarming,watershortages,famineandthe likewouldfitthebill Allthesedangersarecausedbyhumanintervention,anditisonly throughchangedattitudesandbehaviorthattheycanbeovercome Therealenemythen,is humanityitself.” 171 Costa,P T.,Terracciano,A.,&McCrae,R R (2001) “Genderdifferencesinpersonality traitsacrosscultures:robustandsurprisingfindings.”JournalofPersonalityandSocial Psychology,81,322–31;Weisberg,Y J.,DeYoung,C G.,&Hirsh,J B (2011) “Gender differencesinpersonalityacrossthetenaspectsoftheBigFive.”FrontiersinPsychology, 2,178;Schmitt,D P.,Realo,A.,Voracek,M.,&Allik,J (2008) “Whycan’tamanbe morelikeawoman?SexdifferencesinBigFivepersonalitytraitsacross55cultures.” JournalofPersonalityandSocialPsychology,94,168–182 172 DeBolle,M.,DeFruyt,F.,McCrae,R R.,etal (2015) “Theemergenceofsexdifferences inpersonalitytraitsinearlyadolescence:Across-sectional,cross-culturalstudy.”Journalof PersonalityandSocialPsychology,108,171–85 173 Su,R.,Rounds,J.,&Armstrong,P I (2009) “Menandthings,womenandpeople:A meta-analysisofsexdifferencesininterests.”PsychologicalBulletin,135,859–884 Fora neuro-developmentalviewofsuchdifferences,seeBeltz,A M.,Swanson,J L.,& Berenbaum,S A (2011) “Genderedoccupationalinterests:prenatalandrogeneffectson psychologicalorientationtothingsversuspeople.”HormonesandBehavior,60,313–7 174 Bihagen,E &Katz-Gerro,T (2000) “CultureconsumptioninSweden:thestabilityof genderdifferences.”Poetics,27,327-3409;Costa,P.,Terracciano,A &McCrae,R.R (2001) “Genderdifferencesinpersonalitytraitsacrosscultures:robustandsurprising findings.”JournalofPersonalityandSocialPsychology,8,322-331;Schmitt,D.,Realo A.,Voracek,M &Alli,J (2008) “Whycan’tamanbemorelikeawoman?Sex differencesinBigFivepersonalitytraitsacross55cultures.”JournalofPersonalityand SocialPsychology,94,168-182;Lippa,R.A (2010) “Sexdifferencesinpersonalitytraits andgender-relatedoccupationalpreferencesacross53nations:Testingevolutionaryand social-environmentaltheories.”ArchivesofSexualBehavior,39,619-636 175 Gatto,J N (2000) TheundergroundhistoryofAmericaneducation:Aschoolteacher’s intimateinvestigationoftheproblemofmodernschooling NewYork:OdysseusGroup 176 SeeWhyarethemajorityofuniversitystudentswomen?StatisticsCanada:Retrievedfrom http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/81-004-x/2008001/article/10561-eng.htm 177 See,forexample,Hango D (2015) “Genderdifferencesinscience,technology, engineering,mathematicsandcomputerscience(STEM)programsatuniversity.”Statistics Canada,75-006-X:Retrievedfrom http://www.statcan.gc.ca/access_acces/alternative_alternatif.action?l=eng&loc=/pub/75006-x/2013001/article/11874-eng.pdf 178 I’mnotaloneinthisfeeling See,forexample,Hymowitz,K.S (2012) Manningup:How theriseofwomenhasturnedmenintoboys NewYork:BasicBooks 179 seehttp://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2012/04/26/young-men-and-women-differ-onthe-importance-of-a-successful-marriage/ 180 seehttp://www.pewresearch.org/data-trend/society-and-demographics/marriage/ 181 Thishasbeendiscussedextensivelyinthemainstreampress:see https://www.thestar.com/life/2011/02/25/women_lawyers_leaving_in_droves.html; http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/women-criminal-law-1.3476637; http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/andrea-lekushoff/female-lawyers-canada_b_5000415.html 182 Jaffe,A.,Chediak,G.,Douglas,E.,Tudor,M.,Gordon,R.W.,Ricca,L &Robinson,S (2016)“Retainingandadvancingwomeninnationallawfirms.”StanfordLawandPolicy Lab,WhitePaper:Retrievedfromhttps://www-cdn.law.stanford.edu/wpcontent/uploads/2016/05/Women-in-Law-White-Paper-FINAL-May-31-2016.pdf 183 Conroy-Beam,D.,Buss,D M.,Pham,M N.,&Shackelford,T K (2015) “Howsexually dimorphicarehumanmatepreferences?”PersonalityandSocialPsychologyBulletin,41, 1082–1093 Foradiscussionofhowfemalematepreferencechangesasaconsequenceof purelybiological(ovulatory)factors,seeGildersleeve,K.,Haselton,M G.,&Fales,M R (2014) “Dowomen’smatepreferenceschangeacrosstheovulatorycycle?Ameta-analytic review.”PsychologicalBulletin,140,1205–1259 184 seeGreenwood,J.,Nezih,G.,Kocharov,G&Santos,C (2014).”Marryyourlike: Assortativematingandincomeinequality.”IZAdiscussionpaperNo 7895 Retrievedfrom http://hdl.handle.net/10419/93282 185 AgoodreviewofsuchdismalmatterscanbefoundinSuh,G.W.,Fabricious,W.V.,Parke, R.D.,Cookston,J.T.,Braver,S.L &Saenz,D.S “Effectsoftheinterparentalrelationship onadolescents’emotionalsecurityandadjustment:Theimportantroleoffathers.” DevelopmentalPsychology,52,1666-1678 186 Hicks,S R C (2011) Explainingpostmodernism:Skepticismandsocialismfrom RousseautoFoucault SantaBarbara,CA:Ockham’RazorMultimediaPublishing Thepdf isavailableathttp://www.stephenhicks.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/hicks-ep-full.pdf 187 Higgins,D.M.,Peterson,J.B &Pihl,R.O “Prefrontalcognitiveability,intelligence,Big Fivepersonality,andthepredictionofadvancedacademicandworkplaceperformance.” JournalofPersonalityandSocialPsychology,93,298-319 188 Carson,S.H.,Peterson,J.B &Higgins,D.M (2005) “Reliability,validityandfactor structureoftheCreativeAchievementQuestionnaire.”CreativityResearchJournal,17,3750 189 Bouchard,T.J &McGue,M (1981) “Familialstudiesofintelligence:areview.”Science, 212,1055-1059;Brody,N (1992) Intelligence NewYork:GulfProfessionalPublishing; PlominR &PetrillS.A (1997) “Geneticsandintelligence What’snew?”Intelligence,24, 41–65 190 Schiff,M.,Duyme,M.,Dumaret,A.,Stewart,J.,Tomkiewicz,S &Feingold,J (1978) “Intellectualstatusofworking-classchildrenadoptedearlyintoupper-middle-class families.”Science,200,1503–1504;Capron,C &Duyme,M (1989) “Assessmentof effectsofsocio-economicstatusonIQinafullcross-fosteringstudy.”Nature,340,552– 554 191 Kendler,K.S.,Turkheimer,E.,Ohlsson,H.,Sundquist,J &Sundquist,K (2015) “Family environmentandthemalleabilityofcognitiveability:aSwedishnationalhome-rearedand adopted-awaycosiblingcontrolstudy.”ProceedingsoftheNationalAcademyofScience USA,112,4612-4617 192 FortheOECD’stakeonthis,seeClosingthegendergap:Sweden,whichstartsby reviewingstatsindicatingthatgirlshaveanedgeoverboyswithregardstoeducationand thatwomenaremassivelyover-representedinhealthcareandthenproceedstodecrythe stillextantadvantageofmenincomputerscience Retrievedfrom https://www.oecd.org/sweden/Closing%20the%20Gender%20Gap%20%20Sweden%20FINAL.pdf 193 Eron,L D (1980) “Prescriptionforreductionofaggression.”TheAmericanPsychologist, 35,244–252(p 251) 194 ReviewedinPeterson,J.B &Shane,M (2004) “Thefunctionalneuroanatomyand psychopharmacologyofpredatoryanddefensiveaggression.”InJ McCord(Ed.) Beyond empiricism:Institutionsandintentionsinthestudyofcrime (AdvancesinCriminological Theory,Vol 13)(pp 107-146) Piscataway,NJ:TransactionBooks;seealsoPeterson,J.B &Flanders,J (2005) “Playandtheregulationofaggression.”InTremblay,R.E.,Hartup, W.H &Archer,J (Eds.) Developmentaloriginsofaggression (Chapter12;pp 133-157) NewYork:GuilfordPress 195 AsreviewedinTremblay,R E.,Nagin,D S.,Séguin,J R.,etal (2004) “Physical aggressionduringearlychildhood:trajectoriesandpredictors.”Pediatrics,114,43-50 196 Heimberg,R G.,Montgomery,D.,Madsen,C H.,&Heimberg,J S (1977) “Assertion training:Areviewoftheliterature.”BehaviorTherapy,8,953–971;Boisvert,J.-M., Beaudry,M.,&Bittar,J (1985) “Assertivenesstrainingandhumancommunication processes.”JournalofContemporaryPsychotherapy,15,58–73 197 Trull,T J.,&Widiger,T A (2013) “Dimensionalmodelsofpersonality:Thefive-factor modelandtheDSM-5.”DialoguesinClinicalNeuroscience,15,135–46;Vickers,K.E., Peterson,J.B.,Hornig,C.D.,Pihl,R.O.,Séguin,J &Tremblay,R.E (1996) “Fightingasa functionofpersonalityandneuropsychologicalmeasures.”AnnalsoftheNewYork AcademyofSciences 794,411-412 198 Bachofen,J.J (1861) DasMutterrecht:Eineuntersuchungüberdiegynaikokratieder altenweltnachihrerreligiösenundrechtlichennatur Stuttgart:VerlagvonKraisund Hoffmann 199 Gimbutas,M (1991) Thecivilizationofthegoddess SanFrancisco:Harper 200 Stone,M (1978) WhenGodwasawoman NewYork:HarcourtBraceJovanovich 201 Eller,C (2000) Themythofmatriarchalprehistory:Whyaninventedpastwon’tgive womenafuture BeaconPress 202 Neumann,E (1954) Theoriginsandhistoryofconsciousness Princeton,NJ:Princeton UniversityPress 203 Neumann,E (1955) TheGreatMother:Ananalysisofthearchetype NewYork: Routledge&KeganPaul 204 See,forexample,Adler,A (2002) TheoreticalpartI-III:Theaccentuatedfictionas guidingideaintheneurosis InH.T Stein(Ed.) ThecollectedworksofAlfredAdlervolume 1:Theneuroticcharacter:Fundamentalsofindividualpsychologyandpsychotherary(pp 41-85) Bellingham,WA:AlfredAdlerInstituteofNorthernWashington,p 71 205 Moffitt,T.E.,Caspi,A.,Rutter,M &Silva,P.A (2001) Sexdifferencesinantisocial behavior:Conductdisorder,delinquency,andviolenceintheDunedinLongitudinalStudy London:CambridgeUniversityPress 206 Buunk,B.P.,Dijkstra,P.,Fetchenhauer,D &Kenrick,D.T (2002) “Ageandgender differencesinmateselectioncriteriaforvariousinvolvementlevels.”Personal Relationships,9,271-278 207 Lorenz,K (1943) “DieangeborenenFormenmoeglicherErfahrung.”Ethology,5,235409 208 Tajfel,H (1970) “Experimentsinintergroupdiscrimination.”Nature,223,96-102 209 TakenfromDostoevsky,F (1995) ThebrothersKaramazov(dramatizedbyDavid Fishelson) DramatistsPlayService,Inc.,pp 54-55 Retrievedfromhttp://bit.ly/2ifSkMn 210 Andit’snottheabilitytomicrowaveaburritosohotthatevenHeHimselfcouldnoteatit (asHomerasks,inWeekendatBurnsie’s(episode16,season13,TheSimpsons) 211 Lao-Tse(1984) Thetaoteching (1984)(S Rosenthal,Trans.) Verse11:TheUtilityof Non-Existence Retrievedfromhttps://terebess.hu/english/tao/rosenthal.html#Kap11 212 Dostoevsky,F (1994) Notesfromunderground/Whitenights/Thedreamofaridiculous man/Thehouseofthedead(A.R MacAndrew,Trans.) NewYork:NewAmericanLibrary, p 114 213 Goethe,J.W (1979) Faust,parttwo(P Wayne,Trans.) London:PenguinBooks p 270 214 Dikotter,F Mao’sgreatfamine London:Bloomsbury 215 SeePeterson,J.B (2006) Peacemakingamonghigher-orderprimates InFitzduff,M & Stout,C.E (Eds.) Thepsychologyofresolvingglobalconflicts:Fromwartopeace In VolumeIII,Interventions(pp 33-40) NewYork:Praeger Retrievedfrom https://www.researchgate.net/publication/235336060_Peacemaking_among_higherorder_primates 216 SeeAllen,L (2011) Trustversusmistrust(Erikson’sinfantstages) InS Goldstein&J A Naglieri(Eds.) Encyclopediaofchildbehavioranddevelopment(pp 1509–1510) Boston,MA:SpringerUS 217 Lao-Tse(1984) Thetaoteching (1984)(S Rosenthal,Trans.) Verse33:Withoutforce: withoutperishing Retrievedfromhttps://terebess.hu/english/tao/rosenthal.html#Kap33 218 Consider,forexample,thegreatandcourageousBoyanSlaat ThisyoungDutchman,still inhisearlytwenties,hasdevelopedatechnologythatcoulddoexactlythat,andprofitably, andbeemployedinalltheoceansoftheworld There’sarealenvironmentalist:See https://www.theoceancleanup.com/ 219 Yeats,W.B (1933) SailingtoByzantium InR.J Finneran(Ed.) ThepoemsofW.B Yeats: Anewedition NewYork:MacMillan,p 163 Acknowledgements IlivedthroughatumultuoustimewhenIwaswritingthisbook,tosaytheleast Ihadmorethan myfairshareofreliable,competent,trustworthypeoplestandingwithme,however,andthank Godforthat Iwouldparticularlyliketothankmywife,Tammy,mygreatandgoodfriendfor almostfiftyyears Shehasbeenanabsolutepillarofhonesty,stability,support,practicalhelp, organizationandpatienceduringtheyearsofwritingthatcontinuedduringanythingand everythingelsethathashappenedinourlives,nomatterhowpressingorimportant My daughter,Mikhaila,andmyson,Julian,aswellasmyparents,WalterandBeverley,werealso righttherebesideme,payingcarefulattention,discussingcomplicatedissueswithme,and aidingmeintheorganizationofmythoughts,wordsandactions Thesameistrueofmy brother-in-law,JimKeller,computerchiparchitectextraordinaire,andmyalwaysreliableand adventuroussister,Bonnie ThefriendshipofWodekSzembergandEsteraBekierhasproved invaluabletome,inmanyways,formanyyears,ashasthebehind-the-scenesandsubtle supportofProfessorWilliamCunningham Dr NormanDoidgewentbeyondthecallofduty writingandrevisingtheforewordtothisbook,whichtookfarmoreeffortthanIhadoriginally estimated,andthefriendshipandwarmthheandhiswife,Karen,continuallyprovidehasbeen verymuchappreciatedbymyentirefamily ItwasapleasuretocollaboratewithCraigPyette, myeditoratRandomHouseCanada Craig’scarefulattentiontodetailandabilityto diplomaticallyreininexcessburstsofpassion(andsometimesirritation)inmymanydrafts madeforamuchmoremeasuredandbalancedbook GreggHurwitz,novelist,screen-writerandfriend,usedmanyofmyrulesforlifeinhis bestsellerOrphanX,wellbeforemybookwaswritten,whichwasagreatcomplimentand indicatoroftheirpotentialvalueandpublicappeal Greggalsovolunteeredasadedicated, thorough,viciouslyincisiveandcomicallycynicaleditorandcommentatorwhileIwaswriting andediting Hehelpedmecutunnecessaryverbiage(someofitatleast)andstayonthe narrativetrack GreggalsorecommendedEthanvanScriver,whoprovidedthefineillustrations thatbegineachchapter,andIwouldliketoacknowledgehimforthat,aswellastippingmyhat toEthanhimself,whosedrawingsaddanecessarytouchoflightness,whimsyandwarmthto whatmightotherwisehavebeenatoo-darkanddramatictome Finally,IwouldliketothankSallyHarding,myagent,andthefinepeoplesheworkswithat CookeMcDermid WithoutSally,thisbookwouldhaveneverbeenwritten THEBEGINNING Lettheconversationbegin… FollowthePenguinTwitter.com@penguinUKbooks Keepup-to-datewithallourstoriesYouTube.com/penguinbooks Pin‘PenguinBooks’toyourPinterest Like‘PenguinBooks’onFacebook.com/penguinbooks ListentoPenguinatSoundCloud.com/penguin-books Findoutmoreabouttheauthorand discovermorestorieslikethisatPenguin.co.uk ALLENLANE UK|USA|Canada|Ireland|Australia India|NewZealand|SouthAfrica AllenLaneispartofthePenguinRandomHousegroupofcompanieswhoseaddressescanbefoundat global.penguinrandomhouse.com FirstpublishedinCanadabyRandomHouseCanada2018 FirstpublishedinGreatBritainbyAllenLane2018 Copyright©LuminatePsychologicalServices,Ltd.,2018 Forewordcopyright©NormanDoidge,2018 Illustrationscopyright©LuminatePsychologicalServices,Ltd.,2018 Themoralrightoftheauthorhasbeenasserted CoverdesignbyLisaJager ISBN:978-0-241-35165-9 FOREWORD fn1 Someargue—mistakenly—thatFreud(oftenmentionedinthesepages)contributedtoourcurrentlonging foraculture,schoolsandinstitutionsthatare“non-judgmental.”Itistruethatherecommendedthatwhenpsychoanalysts listentotheirpatientsintherapy,theybetolerant,empathic,andnotvoicecritical,moralisticjudgments Butthiswasfor theexpresspurposesofhelpingpatientsfeelcomfortableinbeingtotallyhonest,andnotdiminishtheirproblems This encouragedself-reflection,andallowedthemtoexplorewardedofffeelings,wishes,evenshamefulanti-socialurges It also—andthiswasthemasterstroke—allowedthemtodiscovertheirownunconsciousconscience(anditsjudgments), andtheirownharshself-criticismoftheir“lapses,”andtheirownunconsciousguiltwhichtheyhadoftenhiddenfrom themselves,butwhichoftenformedthebasisoftheirlowself-esteem,depressionandanxiety Ifanything,Freudshowed thatwearebothmoreimmoralandmoremoralthanweareawareof Thiskindof“non-judgmentalism,”intherapy,isa powerfulandliberatingtechniqueortactic—anidealattitudewhenyouwanttobetterunderstandyourself ButFreud neverargued(asdosomewhowantallculturetobecomeonehugegrouptherapysession)thatonecanliveone’sentire lifewithoutevermakingjudgments,orwithoutmorality Infact,hispointinCivilizationanditsDiscontentsisthat civilizationonlyariseswhensomerestrainingrulesandmoralityareinplace OVERTURE fn1 Theyin/yangsymbolisthesecondpartofthemorecomprehensivefive-parttajitu,adiagram representingboththeoriginalabsoluteunityanditsdivisionintothemultiplicityoftheobservedworld Thisisdiscussed inmoredetailinRule2,below,aswellaselsewhereinthebook fn2 IusethetermBeing(withacapital“B”)inpartbecauseofmyexposuretotheideasofthe20th-century GermanphilosopherMartinHeidegger Heideggertriedtodistinguishbetweenreality,asconceivedobjectively,andthe totalityofhumanexperience(whichishis“Being”) Being(withacapital“B”)iswhateachofusexperiences, subjectively,personallyandindividually,aswellaswhatweeachexperiencejointlywithothers Assuch,itincludes emotions,drives,dreams,visionsandrevelations,aswellasourprivatethoughtsandperceptions Beingisalso,finally, somethingthatisbroughtintoexistencebyaction,soitsnatureistoanindeterminatedegreeaconsequenceofour decisionsandchoices—somethingshapedbyourhypotheticallyfreewill Construedinthismanner,Beingis(1)not somethingeasilyanddirectlyreducibletothematerialandobjectiveand(2)somethingthatmostdefinitelyrequiresits ownterm,asHeideggerlaboredfordecadestoindicate RULE2:TREATYOURSELFLIKESOMEONEYOUARERESPONSIBLEFORHELPING fn1 Itisofgreatinterest,inthisregard,thatthefive-parttaijitu(referredtoinChapter1andthesourceofthe simpleryin/yangsymbol)expressestheoriginofthecosmosas,first,originatingintheundifferentiatedabsolute,then dividingintoyinandyang(chaos/order,feminine/masculine),andthenintothefiveagents(wood,fire,earth,metal, water)andthen,simplyput,“thetenthousandthings.”TheStarofDavid(chaos/order,feminine/masculine)givesrisein thesamewaytothefourbasicelements:fire,air,waterandearth(outofwhicheverythingelseisbuilt) Asimilar hexagramisusedbytheHindus ThedownwardtrianglesymbolizesShakti,thefeminine;theupwardtriangle,Shiva,the masculine ThetwocomponentsareknownasomandhriminSanskrit Remarkableexamplesofconceptualparallelism fn2 Or,inanotherinterpretation,Hesplittheoriginalandrogynousindividualintotwoparts,maleandfemale Accordingtothislineofthinking,Christ,the“secondAdam,”isalsotheoriginalMan,beforethesexualsubdivision The symbolicmeaningofthisshouldbecleartothosewhohavefollowedtheargumentthusfar RULE5:DONOTLETYOURCHILDRENDOANYTHINGTHATMAKESYOUDISLIKETHEM fn1 Idrawhereandwillmanytimesagaininthecourseofthisbookonmyclinicalexperience(asIhave, already,onmypersonalhistory) Ihavetriedtokeepthemoralofthestoriesintact,whiledisguisingthedetailsforthe sakeoftheprivacyofthoseinvolved IhopeIgotthebalanceright RULE7:PURSUEWHATISMEANINGFUL(NOTWHATISEXPEDIENT) fn1 Andthisisalltrue,note,whetherthereis—orisnot—actuallysuchapowerfulfigure,“inthesky”:) fn2 InkeepingwiththisobservationisthefactthatthewordSetisanetymologicalprecursortotheword Satan SeeMurdock,D.M (2009) ChristinEgypt:theHorus-Jesusconnection Seattle,WA:StellarHouse,p 75 fn3 Foranyonewhothinksthisissomehowunrealistic,giventheconcretematerialrealityandgenuine sufferingthatisassociatedwithprivation,IwouldonceagainrecommendSolzhenitsyn’sGulagArchipelago,which containsaseriesofexceptionallyprofounddiscussionsaboutproperethicalbehavioranditsexaggeratedratherthan diminishedimportanceinsituationsofextremewantandsuffering RULE9:ASSUMETHATTHEPERSONYOUARELISTENINGTOMIGHTKNOWSOMETHINGYOUDON’T fn1 Here,again,Ihavedisguisedmanyofthedetailsofthiscase,tomaintaintheprivacyofthoseinvolved, whileattemptingtomaintainthecentralmeaningoftheevents fn2 Thestrategyofspeakingtoindividualsisnotonlyvitaltothedeliveryofanymessage,it’sauseful antidotetofearofpublicspeaking Noonewantstobestaredatbyhundredsofunfriendly,judgmentaleyes However, almosteverybodycantalktojustoneattentiveperson So,ifyouhavetodeliveraspeech(anotherterriblephrase)then dothat Talktotheindividualsintheaudience—anddon’thide:notbehindthepodium,notwithdowncasteyes,notby speakingtooquietlyormumbling,notbyapologizingforyourlackofbrillianceorpreparedness,notbehindideasthat arenotyours,andnotbehindclichés RULE10:BEPRECISEINYOURSPEECH fn1 Thisiswhy,forexample,ithastakenusfarlongerthanweoriginallyassumedtomakerobotsthatcould functionautonomouslyintheworld Theproblemofperceptionisfarmoredifficultthanourimmediateeffortlessaccess toourownperceptionspredisposesustoinfer Infact,theproblemofperceptionissodifficultthatitstalledtheearly progressofartificialintelligencealmostfatally(fromtheperspectiveofthattime),aswediscoveredthatdisembodied abstractreasoncouldnotsolveevensimplereal-worldproblems PioneerssuchasRodneyBrooksproposedinthelate 1980sandearly’90sthatbodiesinactionwerenecessarypreconditionstotheparsingoftheworldintomanageable things,andtheAIrevolutionregaineditsconfidenceandmomentum fn2 TherecordingisavailableatPeterson,J.B (2002) SlayingtheDragonWithinUs Lecture,originally broadcastbyTVO:availableathttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REjUkEj1O_0 RULE11:DONOTBOTHERCHILDRENWHENTHEYARESKATEBOARDING fn1 Namesandotherdetailshavebeenchangedforthesakeofprivacy fn2 37-28/28=9/28=32percent fn3 35-29/35=6/35=17percent TableofContents TitlePage Foreword Overture ​RULE1:Standupstraightwithyourshouldersback ​RULE2:Treatyourselflikesomeoneyouareresponsibleforhelping ​RULE3:Makefriendswithpeoplewhowantthebestforyou ​RULE4:Compareyourselftowhoyouwereyesterday,nottowhosomeoneelseistoday ​RULE5:Donotletyourchildrendoanythingthatmakesyoudislikethem ​RULE6:Setyourhouseinperfectorderbeforeyoucriticizetheworld ​RULE7:Pursuewhatismeaningful(notwhatisexpedient) ​RULE8:Tellthetruth—or,atleast,don’tlie ​RULE9:Assumethatthepersonyouarelisteningtomightknowsomethingyoudon’t ​RULE10:Bepreciseinyourspeech ​RULE11:Donotbotherchildrenwhentheyareskateboarding ​RULE12:Petacatwhenyouencounteroneonthestreet ​Coda ​Endnotes Acknowledgements FollowPenguin CopyrightPage ...JordanB Peterson 12 RULES FOR LIFE An Antidote for Chaos ForewordbyNormanDoidge IllustrationsbyEthanVanScriver TableofContents ForewordbyNormanDoidge Overture /Standupstraightwithyourshouldersback... officialeditor(andwiththeviciousandhorriblyaccuratecriticismofHurwitz,mentioned previously) for thepastthreeyears Ittookalongtime to settleonatitle: 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos Whydidthat oneriseupaboveallothers?Firstandforemost,becauseofitssimplicity... OnQuora,anyonecanaska question,ofanysort—andanyonecananswer Readersupvotethoseanswerstheylike,and downvotethosetheydon’t Inthismanner,themostusefulanswersrise to thetop,whilethe
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