Chapter 10 Marriage and Intimate Relationships Challenges to the Traditional Model of Marriage, continued • Marriage – “the legally and socially sanctioned union of sexually intimate adults” • Traditionally, it has also included – – – – Economic interdependence Common residence Sexual fidelity Shared responsibility for children Challenges, continued • However, the following social trends have challenged the “traditional” model of marriage: Increased acceptance of singlehood – since the 1960s, the median age at which people marry has been increasing (see Figure 10.1) Increased acceptance of cohabitation – “living together in a sexually intimate relationship without the legal bonds of marriage” Figure 10.1 Median age at first marriage The median age at which people in the United States marry for the first time has been creeping up for both males and females since the mid-1960s This trend indicates that more people are postponing marriage (Data from U.S Bureau of the Census) Challenges, continued Trends, continued Reduced premium on permanence Transitions in gender roles – role expectations are more varied, flexible, and ambiguous Increased voluntary childlessness Decline of the “nuclear family” Deciding to Marry, continued Cultural influences on marriages • • 80% of world cultures practice arranged marriages Priority is placed on the family’s, rather than the individual’s, welfare Deciding to Marry, continued Selecting a mate • • Monogamy - “the practice of having only one spouse at a time” Polygamy - involves “having more than one spouse at a time” – – Polygamy is practiced in many cultures It is most common where women have little or no independence, access to education, or political power Deciding to Marry, continued Selecting a mate, continued • • Endogamy – “the tendency of people to marry within their own social group” Homogamy – “the tendency of people to marry others who have similar personal characteristics” Deciding to Marry, continued Selecting a mate, continued • Gender and mate selection preferences – Women place more value on a potential partner’s socioeconomic status, intelligence, ambition, and financial prospects – Men place more value on a potential partner’s youthfulness and physical attractiveness Deciding to Marry, continued Predictors of marital success – Family background – people whose parents were divorced are more likely to divorce themselves – – Age – those who marry at a younger age are more likely to divorce Length of courtship – longer periods of courtship are associated with marital success – Personality – perfectionism and insecurity are loosely associated with marital problems Figure 10.13 Cohabitation in the United States The number of unmarried couples living together has been increasing rapidly since 1970 (based on U.S Census data) This increase shows no signs of leveling off Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued • Intimate partner violence – “is aggression toward those who are in close relationship to the aggressor” • It can take many forms, including – – – • Psychological abuse Physical abuse Sexual abuse Two common types are partner abuse and date rape Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued • Partner abuse often includes these forms of battering: – – – Physical abuse (e.g., kicking or choking) Emotional abuse (e.g., humiliation, control, withholding money) Sexual abuse (e.g., using sex to control, manipulate, or demean the other) Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued Partner Abuse, continued • Incidence and consequences – 25% of women and 7% of men have been physically assaulted by an intimate partner – Women are victims in 85% of nonfatal crimes, and are victims in 75% of murders committed by spouses – Victims also suffer from posttraumatic stress disorder and are vulnerable to suicide – Children who witness violence are at risk for anxiety and depression Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued Partner abuse, continued • Characteristics of batterers – Risk factors associated with domestic violence include • • • • • • Unemployment Drinking and drug problems Tendency to anger easily Attitudes that condone aggression High stress Males exposed to violence as children Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued Partner abuse, continued • Why women stay? – – – – Fear of economic hardship They have nowhere else to live They feel guilt and shame and not want to face family and friends They fear that leaving will cause more severe abuse or murder (statistics support this fear) Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued • Date rape - “refers to forced and unwanted intercourse in the context of dating” – It can occur on first dates, after many dates, or even between engaged couples – Force used is typically verbal or physical coercion; may involve a weapon Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued Date rape, continued • Incidence and consequences – – – – 13% to 30% of women may be victimized at some point in their lives Most victims are raped by someone they know (see Figure 10.15) Rape by someone you have trusted is particularly traumatic Consequences include depression, posttraumatic stress, and risk for suicide Figure 10.15 Rape victim-offender relationships Based on a national survey of 3,187 college women, Mary Koss and her colleagues (1988) identified a sample of 468 women who indicated that they had been a victim of rape and who provided information on the relationship to the offender Contrary to the prevailing stereotype, only a small minority (11%) had been raped by a stranger As you can see, over half of rapes occur in the context of dating relationships (Data based on Koss et al., 1988) Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued Date rape, continued • Contributing factors – – – – Alcohol & drugs (especially “date rape” drugs) Gender differences in sexual standards Miscommunication about whether the woman consents to sex Males who are impulsive, low in empathy, hostile toward women, heavy alcohol users, endorse stereotypes about male dominance, and have had more sex partners than age-mates Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued Contributing factors, continued – Men are more likely to be offenders if • • • • • They are impulsive, low in empathy, and hostile toward women They are heavy drinkers They endorse traditional stereotypes about male dominance They have had more consensual sex partners than their age-mates They have poor anger management skills Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued Contributing factors, continued • Situational factors can increase likelihood of date rape It is more likely if – – – – The man knows the woman They are in a more isolated setting They have had more consensual sexual activity The man has misperceived the woman’s interest in sex in the past Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued • Reducing the incidence of date rape Recognize data rape as an act of sexual aggression Become familiar with the characteristics of men who are likely to engage in date rape (see Figure 10.16) Beware of excessive alcohol and drug use, which may lower your inhibitions Figure 10.16 Date rapists: warning signs According to Rozee, Bateman, and Gilmore (1991), four factors appear to distinguish date rapists: feelings of sexual entitlement, a penchant for exerting power and control, high hostility and anger, and acceptance of interpersonal violence The presence of more than one of these characteristics is an important warning sign When sexual entitlement is coupled with any other factor, special heed should be taken Application: Intimate Partner Violence, continued Reducing date rape, continued When dating someone new, only go to public places and carry enough money to get home on your own Communicate feelings and expectations about sex Be prepared to act aggressively if assertive refusals not work ... disruptive to women than to men, especially if there are children – Custodial mothers’ incomes drop by 36% • Fathers’ incomes increase by 28% Divorce, continued Adjusting to a divorce, continued... on the family’s, rather than the individual’s, welfare Deciding to Marry, continued Selecting a mate • • Monogamy - ? ?the practice of having only one spouse at a time” Polygamy - involves “having... when adult children return to ? ?the nest” Marital Adjustments, continued McGoldrick’s model, continued The family in later life • Marital satisfaction tends to climb in the postparental period when