Communication and Relational Dynamics CHAPTER TOPICS • • • • Why We Form Relationships Models of Relational Dynamics Characteristics of Relationships Communicating about Relationships Looking Out/Looking In Fourteenth Edition Why We Form Relationships • Appearance • Is especially important in the early stages • Partners create “positive illusions,” viewing another as more attractive over time • Similarity • We like people who are similar to us • Similarity is more important to relational happiness than communication ability COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS Why We Form Relationships • Complementarily • Differences strengthen relationships when they are complementary • Each partner’s characteristics satisfy the other’s needs • Reciprocal Attraction • We like people who like us – usually • People who approve of us, bolster our selfesteem COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS Why We Form Relationships • Competence • We like to be around talented people • If a person is too talented it can be difficult to be around them because they make us look bad • Disclosure • Revealing information about yourself can help to build liking • Not all disclosure leads to liking COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS Why We Form Relationships • Proximity • We are likely to develop relationships with people we interact with frequently • Allows us to get more information about other people and benefit from relationship • Rewards • Social Exchange Theory • Relationships that give us rewards greater than or equal to the costs of the relationship COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS Models of Relational Dynamics • A Developmental Perspective • Mark Knapp • Rise and fall of relationships • Ten stages • Other researchers • Coming together • Coming apart • Relational maintenance COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS Models of Relational Dynamics • Stages of Relational Development COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS Figure 8.1 Page 276 Models of Relational Dynamics • Knapp’s Ten Stages of the Relationship • Initiating • Communication during this stage is usually brief • Usually follows a conventional formula • Experimenting • After initial contact we decide if we wish to pursue the relationship further • Uncertainty reduction • The search for common ground COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS Models of Relational Dynamics • Knapp’s Ten Stages of the Relationship • Intensifying • The interpersonal relationship begins to develop • The expression of feeling becomes more common • Integrating • Parties begin to take on identity as a social unit • Partners begin to take on each other’s commitments COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS Models of Relational Dynamics • Knapp’s Ten Stages of the Relationship • Bonding • Parties make symbolic public gestures • Commitment is increased during this stage • Differentiating • The “We” orientation shifts back to “I” • The stage is likely to occur when the relationship experiences its first feelings of stress COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 10 Models of Relational Dynamics • Knapp’s Ten Stages of the Relationship • Circumscribing • Communication decreases in quantity and quality • Restrictions and restraints • Stagnating • No growth occurs • The relationship is a hollow shell of its former self COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 11 Models of Relational Dynamics • Knapp’s Ten Stages of the Relationship • Avoiding • Parties begin to create physical distance between each other • Indirectly • Directly • Terminating • Includes summary dialogue • Relationships don’t always move toward termination in a straight line COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 12 Models of Relational Dynamics • A Dialectical Perspective • Dialectical tensions • Conflicts that arise when two opposing or incompatible forces exist simultaneously • Several dialectical forces that make successful communication challenging COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 13 Models of Relational Dynamics • A Dialectical Perspective • Dialectical tensions • Connection versus autonomy • Openness versus privacy • Predictability versus novelty COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 14 Models of Relational Dynamics • A Dialectical Perspective • Managing dialectical tensions • • • • • • • • Denial Disorientation Alternation Segmentation Balance Integration Recalibration Reaffirmation COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 15 Characteristics of Relationships • Relationships Are Constantly Changing • Rarely stable for long periods • A cycle in which partners move through a series of stages • Relationships are affected by culture • A variety of differences can make relationships between people from different cultures challenging COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 16 Characteristics of Relationships • Relationships Are Affected by Culture • A variety of differences can make relationships between people from different cultures challenging COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 17 Communicating about Relationships • Content and Relational Messages • Content Messages • The subject being discussed • Relational Messages • How the parties feel toward one another • Types of Relational Messages • • • • Affinity Immediacy Respect Control COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 18 Communicating about Relationships • Metacommunication • Messages that people exchange, verbally or nonverbally, about their relationship • Communication about communication • Important method for resolving conflicts in a constructive manner • Can be used as a way to reinforce the satisfying aspects of a relationship COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 19 Chapter Review • • • • Why We Form Relationships Models of Relational Dynamics Characteristics of Relationships Communicating about Relationships COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 20 [...]... termination in a straight line COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 12 Models of Relational Dynamics • A Dialectical Perspective • Dialectical tensions • Conflicts that arise when two opposing or incompatible forces exist simultaneously • Several dialectical forces that make successful communication challenging COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 13 Models of Relational Dynamics • A Dialectical Perspective...Models of Relational Dynamics • Knapp’s Ten Stages of the Relationship • Circumscribing • Communication decreases in quantity and quality • Restrictions and restraints • Stagnating • No growth occurs • The relationship is a hollow shell of its former self COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 11 Models of Relational Dynamics • Knapp’s Ten Stages of the Relationship... cultures challenging COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 16 Characteristics of Relationships • Relationships Are Affected by Culture • A variety of differences can make relationships between people from different cultures challenging COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 17 Communicating about Relationships • Content and Relational Messages • Content Messages • The subject being discussed • Relational Messages... constructive manner • Can be used as a way to reinforce the satisfying aspects of a relationship COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 19 Chapter Review • • • • Why We Form Relationships Models of Relational Dynamics Characteristics of Relationships Communicating about Relationships COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 20 ... autonomy • Openness versus privacy • Predictability versus novelty COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 14 Models of Relational Dynamics • A Dialectical Perspective • Managing dialectical tensions • • • • • • • • Denial Disorientation Alternation Segmentation Balance Integration Recalibration Reaffirmation COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 15 Characteristics of Relationships • Relationships Are... Relational Messages • How the parties feel toward one another • Types of Relational Messages • • • • Affinity Immediacy Respect Control COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 18 Communicating about Relationships • Metacommunication • Messages that people exchange, verbally or nonverbally, about their relationship • Communication about communication • Important method for resolving conflicts in a constructive ... COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS Models of Relational Dynamics • Stages of Relational Development COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS Figure 8. 1 Page 276 Models of Relational Dynamics • Knapp’s... feelings of stress COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 10 Models of Relational Dynamics • Knapp’s Ten Stages of the Relationship • Circumscribing • Communication decreases in quantity and quality... COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONAL DYNAMICS 19 Chapter Review • • • • Why We Form Relationships Models of Relational Dynamics Characteristics of Relationships Communicating about Relationships COMMUNICATION AND