[...]... introduction 3 Freeing yourself from the trap of destructive thoughts and emotions through self-­ ompassion can boost your self-­ steem from the inside c e out, reduce depression and anxiety, and even help you stick to your diet And the benefits aren’t just personal Self-­ ompassion is the c foundation of compassion for others The Dalai Lama said, “[Compassion] is the state of wishing that the object of... cannot express my gratitude to Claire Going forward, I wish to humbly acknowledge the efforts of readers who will take the message of self-­ ompassion to heart and c make it live and breathe in their own lives It’s a path of peace and it’s a blessing to share the journey together *   *   * The following publishers and/ or authors have generously given permission to reprint material from copyrighted works... the best thing to do The rest of the book will show you how to accomplish this improbable task First you’ll learn how to bring mindful awareness to what’s bothering you Then you’ll discover how to bring kindness to yourself, especially when you’re feeling really bad That combination—­ indfulness and self-­ ompassion— m c can transform even the worst times of our lives Turning toward the Pain From the. .. life stories to give substance to the concepts and practices that follow They made this a labor of love Their names and 6 introduction other details have been changed to ensure confidentiality, and some clinical vignettes are composites of a few individuals This book is divided into three parts, and the chapters build on one another Part I, Discovering Self-­ ompassion, shows you how C to develop mindfulness... offer, the essential role of self-­ ompassion, the path to realizing c it rather than just thinking about it, and the practical tools, such as mindfulness, we need to effect that transformation Buddhist psychological analysis regards qualities like lovingk ­ indness as the direct antidote to fear Whether hampered by the inhibiting fear of feeling we are not enough and could never be enough, or the raging... he was a German citizen There my father met a mountaineer, Heinrich Harrer, who later escaped the internment camp and traveled across the Himalayan mountains to Tibet to became the 14th Dalai Lama’s English tutor As a child, my mother read me magical tales of India, so it seemed natural to go there myself after I graduated from college From 1976 to 1977, I traveled the length and breadth of India, visiting... and for the bold new understanding of therapeutic change by Mark Epstein, Steven Hayes, Marsha Linehan, Zindel Siegel, and their collaborators Thanks also to Richard Davidson, Daniel Goleman, and Daniel Siegel for inspiring me and countless other readers around the world to look at human emotion and interpersonal relationships from a profoundly unselfish, scientific perspective Other friends and colleagues... it the fault of the 9 10 DISCOVERING SELF-COMPASSION person who wants to feel better The problem lies in our motivation and in a misunderstanding of how the mind works As Michelle knew only too well from her years of struggle, a lot of what we do to not feel bad is likely to make us feel worse It’s like that thought experiment: “Try not to think about pink elephants— the kind that are very large and. .. Styron, and Jan Surrey I’m especially indebted to Sara for her advice on all things scientific, to Andy for xi xii acknowledgments anchoring my thinking in the 2,500-year-old tradition of Buddhist psychology, to Ron for keeping it real, to Jan for her exquisite and abiding sense of interconnection, and to Trudy for lending a touch of bold tenderness to the subject matter My personal practice of self-­... the way things are and how we’d like them to be and that makes our lives feel unsatisfactory The more we wish our lives were different, the worse we feel For example, if a car accident lands someone in a wheelchair for life, the first year is usually the toughest As we learn to adapt, we typically return to our former level of happiness We can measure our happiness by the gap between what we want and . develop and strengthen these skills and bring them into our everyday lives. This is where The Mindful Path to Self- Compassion steps to the fore. In this book Dr. Christopher Germer lays out the. Christopher K. The mindful path to self- compassion : freeing yourself from destructive thoughts and emotions / Christopher K. Germer. — 1st ed. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN. introduction 3 Freeing yourself from the trap of destructive thoughts and emotions through self- compassion can boost your self- esteem from the inside out, reduce depression and anxiety, and even