Living Together A Legal Guide for Unmarried Couples By Attorneys Toni Ihara, Ralph Warner & Frederick Hertz 14th edition Dear friends, Since 1971, Nolo has worked hard to help Americans get a fair shake from the legal system. How? By producing books, software, forms and a website that translate legal jargon into plain English, off er clear instructions for routine tasks and break down complex systems into easy-to-understand components. All of our publications are relentlessly researched and tested by a dedicated group of in-house legal editors. And when we come out with a new edition, you’ll know that it’s been thoroughly updated.  ere’s a reason why Nolo is not only the nation’s oldest, but also the most respected provider of legal information. Our mission, refl ected in everything we publish, is to give consumers and small businesses the best information available. We’re proud that tens of millions of Americans have looked to Nolo to help them solve their problems and achieve their goals. Ralph Warner, Nolo co-founder  e NOLO Story Whether you have a simple question or a complex problem, turn to us at: ALWAYS UP TO DATE Sign up for NOLO’S LEGAL UPDATER Old law is bad law. We’ll email you when we publish an updated edition of this book—sign up for this free servi c e at nolo.com/ legalupdater. Find the latest updates at NOLO.COM Recognizing that the law can change even before you use this book, we post legal updates during the life of this edition at nolo.com/updat e s. Is this edition the newest? ASK US! To make sure that this is the most recent edition available, just give us a call at 800-728-3555. (Please note that we cannot off er legal advice.) NOLO.COM Your all-in-one legal resource Need quick information about wills, patents, adoptions, starting a business—or anything else that’s aff ected by the la w? Nolo.com is packed with free articles, legal updates, resources and a complete catalog of our books and software . NOLO NOW Make your legal documents online Creating a legal document has never been easier or more cost-eff ective! Featuring Nolo’s Online Will, as well as online forms for LLC formation, incorporation, divorce, name change—and many more! Check it out at http://nolonow.nolo.c o m. NOLO’S LAWYER DIRECTORY Meet your new attorney If you want advice from a qualifi ed attorney, turn to Nolo’s Lawyer Directory—the only directory that lets you see hundreds of in-depth attorney profi les so you can pick the one that’s righ t for you. Find it at http:// lawyers.nolo.com. OUR MISSION Make the law as simple as possible, saving you time, money and headaches. N O L O Your Legal Companion “In Nolo you can trust.” —THE NEW YORK TIMES We believe accurate, plain-English legal information should help you solve many of your own legal problems. But this text is not a substitute for personalized advice from a knowledgeable lawyer. If you want the help of a trained professional—and we’ll always point out situations in which we think that’s a good idea—consult an attorney licensed to practice in your state. Please note Living Together A Legal Guide for Unmarried Couples By Attorneys Toni Ihara, Ralph Warner & Frederick Hertz 14th edition FOURTEENTH EDITION FEBRUARY 2008 Editor EMILY DOSKOW Cover Design SUSAN PUTNEY Production MARGARET LIVINGSTON Proofreader PAUL TYLER CD-ROM Preparation ELLEN BITTER Index SONGBIRD INDEXING Printing CONSOLIDATED PRINTERS, INC. Ihara, Toni Lynne. Living together : a legal guide for unmarried couples / by Toni Ihara, Ralph Warner & Frederick Hertz. 14th ed. p. cm. Includes index. ISBN-13: 978-1-4133-0755-9 (pbk.) ISBN-10: 1-4133-0755-8 (pbk.) 1. Unmarried couples Legal status, laws, etc United States. 2. Unmarried couples Legal status, laws, etc United States Forms. I. Warner, Ralph E. II. Hertz, Fr ederick. III. Title. KF538.I35 2008 346.7301'6 dc22 2007035643 Copyright © 1978, 1979, 1984, 1988, 1990, 1994, 1997, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2004, 2006, and 2008 b y Toni Ihara and Ralph Warner. A LL RIGHTS RESERVED. PRINTED IN THE U.S.A. No par t of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without prior written permission. Repro- duction pr ohibitions do not apply to the forms contained in this product when reproduced for personal use. Quantity sales: For information on bulk purchases or corporate premium sales, please contact the Special Sales Department. For academic sales or textbook adoptions, ask for Academic Sales. Call 800-955-4775 or write to Nolo, 950 Parker Street, Berkeley, CA 94710. Acknowledgments Recent editions of Living Together have benefitted from the extraordinary legal research help of Ella Hirst and Alayna Schroeder and the exceptional editing and creative input of Marcia Stewart and Kathleen Michon. anks, too, to Amy Ihara for her hard work and creative contributions during the manuscript preparation stage. For the 12th and subsequent editions, thanks ar e due to Twila Slesnick for her edits and additions to the income tax and retirement plans material. About the Author Attorneys Toni Ihara and Ralph Warner have been involved in the self-help law movement since its inception in the early 1970s. Ralph Warner is a co-founder of Nolo and is author of several self-help legal books, including Everybody’s Guide to Small Claims Court. Toni Ihara is an anthr opologist turned lawyer turned graphic artist, and has been with Nolo since the beginning. After living together for nearly 20 years, Toni and Ralph are now married. Fr ederick Hertz is a practicing attorney and mediator and the author of Legal Affairs: Essential Advice for Same-Sex Couples ( Owl Books) and co-author of Nolo’s A Legal Guide for Lesbian & Gay Couples. He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area. Table of Contents 1 Living Together: An Introduction 2 e Legal State of Living Together Sex and the Law 6 Domestic Partners 7 Common Law Marriage 8 Living Together Contracts 10 To Be Safe, Write It Down 14 What Happens to Your Written Living Together Agreement If You Get Married? 16 Special Issues for Seniors 18 3 Living Together Agreements: Why and How Ten Tips for Writing a Living Together Agreement 21 Property Agreements 23 Agreement to Share Ownership of a Joint Purchase 30 Agreement Covering Joint Projects 35 Agreement Covering Homemaker Services 37 Agreement for Artists and Inventors 39 Agreement for People in School 42 Agreement to Protect Person Who Moves a Long Distance or Gives Up a Job 42 4 Debt, Credit, Taxes, and More: Practical Aspects of Living Together Debt and Credit 47 Buying and Investing Together 50 Discrimination 51 Sharing Your Last Name 54 Income Taxes 55 Social Security 57 Retirement Plans 59 Public Benefits 60 Insurance 61 Liability for Medical Care of a Mate 63 Making Medical and Financial Decisions for Your Partner 63 Wrongful Death and Loss of Consortium Lawsuits 66 5 Renting and Sharing a Home Discrimination on the Basis of Marital Status 68 Leases and Rental Agreements 69 Moving In Together 70 Dealing With Objections When Moving Into the Rental Home of One Partner 73 Getting Your Security Deposit Back 77 6 Buying a House Together May Sellers Discriminate Against Unmarried Buyers? 81 How to Find and Work With a Real Estate Agent 82 Househunting Online 83 Home Financing and Mortgages 84 Proceeding With Your Purchase: Offers, Inspections, Escrow, and Closing 89 Taking Title to Your New Home 90 Contracts for Couples Owning a Home Together 94 Contract for Equal Ownership of a House 95 Contract for Unequal Ownership of a House 103 Agreement for One Person to Move Into the Other’s House and Become an Immediate Co-Owner 106 Agreement for One Person to Move Into the Other’s House and Become a Co-Owner Gradually 110 7 Starting a Family Having a Child: Legal Obligations of Unmarried Parents 116 Naming the Baby and Getting a Birth Certificate 116 Naming the Father: Paternity 117 Legitimacy of Children Born to Unmarried Parents 120 Adopting a Child 122 Public and Private Benefits for a Child of Unmarried Parents 125 Inheritance Rights of a Child of Unmarried Parents 125 [...]... contract enforceable after marriage? Only if it was created shortly before your marriage or at a time when you both planned to be married, and only if it meets your state’s standards for a premarital agreement To be enforceable, premarital (prenuptial or premarriage) contracts must be made in contem­ plation of marriage That means that most couples who prepared living together agreements will have to... compensation benefits Your Common Law Marriage in Colorado May Be Recognized in California There’s a little trick in the area of common law marriages A state that doesn’t provide for common law marriages will still recognize one if it was properly formed in a state that does provide for them For example, if you have been living together in a common law marriage state for many years and then relocate to a. .. or anal sex Many states call it an unnatural act or a “crime against nature.” Some states prohibit all sodomy, while others prohibit only specific acts To find out more about laws (and penalties) regarding cohabitation, fornication, or adultery, check your state laws Chapter 11 explains how to do this kind of legal research Also, for information on state laws involving adultery that may affect alimony... Columbia Rhode Island Iowa South Carolina Kansas Texas Montana Utah In a few other states, common law marriages will be recognized if they were created before the date the practice was abolished These are Georgia (created before 1997), Idaho (created before 1996), Ohio (created before 1991), and Pennsylvania (created before 2005) Kentucky recognizes common law marriage only for purposes of awarding... www.nolo.com, for key legal rulings that affect unmarried couples In addition, we highly recommend that you check out the Alternatives to Marriage Project, a national organization that provides resources, support, and advocacy for unmarried people living together For more information, and to receive their newsletter “Alternatives to Marriage Update,” see the ATMP website at www .unmarried. org, or write to them at... attorney specializing in elder law before you make any big decisions Finally, changing social attitudes and values have made living together less of a stigma; living together is not considered as rare (or immoral) as it was 25 or more years ago In fact, the American Law Institute, an influential organization of lawyers, judges, and legal scholars, recently recommended sweeping changes in family law, including... chapter 2 | the legal state of living together | 11 As a result, if an unmarried couple chooses to make an agreement together, or in some states if they act as though an agreement exists, that agree­ment will often be considered an enforceable contract a “nonmarital agreement” in legal terms, or what we call a living together agreement in this book These agreements do not usually cover personal aspects... (cohabitation was illegal in all states until 1970), and illegal contracts cannot be enforced This meant that unmarried couples were unable to enforce their agreements to share or divide property upon separation or death All this began to change in the mid-1970s, when the California Supreme Court decision in the case of Marvin v Marvin, 557 P.2d 106 (1976), gave unmarried couples in California the right to make... him, claiming that they had an oral agreement—in exchange for her giving up her career as a dancer to be a full-time homemaker and companion, he said he would support her for the rest of her life The trial court initially ruled against Michelle, stating that living together contracts between unmarried couples were illegal and unenforceable Michelle appealed to the California Supreme Court, which handed... together—from sharing money and property (contract law) to owning a house together (real estate law) or sharing an apartment (landlordtenant law) to having a child with your partner (family law) to writing a will (estate planning) resource If you are part of a gay or lesbian couple living together, see A Legal Guide for Lesbian & Gay Couples, by Denis Clifford, Frederick Hertz, and Emily Doskow, also published . author of Legal A airs: Essential Advice for Same-Sex Couples ( Owl Books) and co-author of Nolo’s A Legal Guide for Lesbian & Gay Couples. He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area. Table of. separate. We believ e that most unmarried couples can safely and easily master the majority of legal rules that a ect them. However, it’s also true that an experienced lawyer’s advice can. fornication is illegal, describe a cohabitation relationship as meretricious, meaning “of an unlawful sexual nature.” Sodomy: Generally refers to oral or anal sex. Many states call it an unnatural