[...]... duction xv and others are childless I have discussed breakups with women who were left by their significant others, and those who did the breaking up themselves There is a myth floating around that those who are left experience more pain than those who leave This is a complete untruth Please keep in mind that endings affect us all in profoundly different ways Some of you have lived through the catastrophe... misunderstood, controlled, abused, or lonely, and you are petrified of letting go out of fear or the thought of causing irrevocable harm to your ex or your innocent children Whether you have been abandoned by your lover or were the one who ended your relationship—we are all in this together No woman’s suffering is worse than the next one’s, it is just different It is not for any one of us to judge who has it harder... that matters is that you are doing the work and giving yourself hugs and accolades along that way Just the fact that you are reading this book proves so much If you are determined to recover, rest assured, you will How to Read This Book The Breakup Bible is divided into three sections: healing, understanding, and transformation—my unique and proven method for recovery In the healing phase I will explain... explore and eventually uncover the psychological Suss_9780307885098_3p_all_r1.indd xv 9/7/11 11:33 AM x vi I n t ro d u cti on ramifications of your relationship choices, patterns, and ultimately, your breakup Doing this work and “owning” the implications of what you discover is the only closure you will ever need! Understanding also introduces you to many new concepts including the creation of a “Personal... “Personal Love Map.” Your Personal Love Map was formed the moment you were born Deciphering your map reveals why you chose your lover, how you behaved in the relationship, and how you mourned your loss With your emotions in check, and a full understanding of your breakup under your belt, you are ready to be launched into your new life This is the premise behind the transformation phase In each chapter, I will... catastrophe of infidelity, while others have gone outside of your relationship as a remedy for the alienation you have endured from being with the wrong partner If you discovered your partner’s infidelity, that reality is agonizing If you desperately wanted to save your relationship and your ex had no interest in that plan, that rejection is awful But it is equally horrid to live day by day in a relationship... the transformation phase In each chapter, I will give you important information and useful tools that will allow you to experience your breakup and the more challenging aspects of your recovery in healthy and productive ways Each chapter builds upon the preceding one At the end of each chapter, I offer a review list that can easily be called upon whenever you need a refresher course Feel free to read... solution—I want you to dig deep, question yourself, and take notes If you take your time, keep an open mind, do the reading and exercises, and follow the plan, you will recover You will also emerge armed with new insight and confidence, which will enable you to make better and healthier choices in the future This book is about hope You will heal You will survive You will thrive and move on to live your best . AM Introduction xv and others are childless. I have discussed breakups with women who were left by their signifi cant others, and those who did the breaking up themselves. There is a myth fl oating. witnessed the demise of lengthy relationships affecting close friends, relatives, and clients. I was moved by their suffering, and incredibly inspired by their strength as they slowly regained their.