Mate Selection in the Network Society: The Role of the Internet in Reconfiguring Marriages in Australia, the United Kingdom and United StatesA William H Dutton, Ellen J Helsper and Monica T Whitty Oxford Internet Institute, University of Oxford and J Galen Buckwalter and Erina Lee eHarmony LabsTM The Internet has the potential to change our lives for better or worse by reconfiguring social networks, ranging from creating an expanded set of weak ties to introducing people to their next best friend or spouse Cyberspace is not the utopian playfield some portrayed it to be (Rheingold 1994) While many increasingly look to the Internet as a place to meet people, others fear undesirable or unwanted approaches in chat rooms or over social networks Nonetheless, there is evidence that a considerable number of people are meeting new people online and that they sometimes move on to meet up face-toface This is evident in the degree that online dating sites have spawned a burgeoning new industry A This working paper was prepared for discussion at a forum, entitled ‘Meeting, Dating, Marriage and the Internet’, held at the Oxford Internet Institute, University of Oxford, October 2008 The research was supported by a grant from eHarmony, a US based online match-making company supporting research on the science of relationships Electronic Electroniccopy copyavailable availableat: at:https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 http://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 What will be the societal implications of an increasing number of people making friends and possibly establishing intimate relationships online? This paper seeks to address this question through an analysis of survey research data gathered as part of the ‘Me, My Spouse and the Internet’ project at the Oxford Internet Institute, supported by eHarmony This study collected in Britain and Australia enables us to address key questions related to the prevalence and patterns of Internet-enabled meeting and marriage When possible, we draw comparisons with other survey data on online relationships, such as from a survey on recently married individuals in the United States It draws also from general population data collected by the Oxford Internet Surveys (OxIS), as discussed below Reconfiguring Relationships Theoretical assumptions underpinning many discussions of online relationships have tended to be technologically deterministic, and focused on the role of the Internet in reducing or enhancing social networks (Rice et al 2007) The question most often posed is whether or not the Internet will tend to isolate people or extend their social networks Generally, survey research has failed to find a consistent relationship between Internet use and social relationships If anything, those online have tended to be somewhat more sociable, despite early stereotypes of the isolated computer nerd (Rice et al 2007) Our research has moved away from this focus on more or less connectivity to explore the degree to Electronic Electroniccopy copyavailable availableat: at:https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 http://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 which people use the Internet to make new friends and, thereby, reconfigure their social networks.1 For example, bi-annual surveys of use and non-use of the Internet in Britain have examined those who create new ties through the Internet and under what conditions these online ties migrate to face to face settings (Dutton and Helsper 2007) These analyses are based on data from the 2005 and 2007 Oxford Internet Surveys (OxIS), each of which is based on a national probability sample survey of individuals aged 14 and over in Britain Figure Meeting People Online Source: OxIS (Dutton & Helsper, 2007) The Oxford Internet Surveys (OxIS) showed, for example, that in 2007, almost a quarter of Internet users (23%) had met someone online who they did not know before This is up from 20 percent in 2005 (Figure 1) Not only did Internet users Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 meet new friends online, about half of these individuals have gone on to meet one or more of these virtual friends in person (di Gennaro and Dutton 2007; Dutton and Helsper 2007) These findings suggest that the Internet plays an important role in reconfiguring the social networks of many users Socio-demographic characteristics, such as being single, shape patterns of Internet use, and are related to the greater propensity of some individuals to make online social relationships (di Gennaro and Dutton 2007) However, experience with the Internet and the ways in which people choose to use the Internet, such as for chatting or communicating more generally, are most directly associated with who makes new connections over the Internet and who does not Also, multivariate analysis indicates that the dynamics of online friendships are driven more by the idiosyncratic digital choices made by users of the Internet, such as to participate in a social networking site, than by any mechanistic social or technological determinism (di Gennaro and Dutton 2007) Individuals choose to use the Internet in ways that enable them to meet others Meeting new friends is not strongly associated with any particular social group, or with the use of the Internet per se We have sought to extend this research beyond ‘friendship’ to a more concrete and intimate relationship by asking whether the same dynamics apply to marriage Will individuals meet people online who they would not otherwise meet, and not only meet in person, but also develop a relationship that leads to Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 marriage? These questions include the following: What role has the Internet played in introducing married couples? For example, what proportion of married couples met online? If some couples have met online, what difference has it made? Are couples that met online more diverse or more homogeneous in their geographic and socioeconomic backgrounds compared with people who meet offline? It may be that the Internet is enabling people to meet types of individuals that they not have access to offline Do partners who meet online meet others who are more or less similar to them (e.g., similar interests, age)? Alternatively, will couples who meet online and offline be significantly different from one another? Will men and women be attracted to similar characteristics to the ones they are traditionally attracted to offline? For example, will online couples place more emphasis in emotional characteristics than physical ones? Ever since the early days of the Internet, researchers have questioned its utility in developing and maintaining psychological healthy friendships, romantic relationships and sexual relations Early researchers were fairly skeptical about the benefits of online relationships arguing that there were not enough indicators in interactions through computers that could convey the complex emotions needed to maintain intimate relationships.2 However, this thesis has been challenged by research on computer-mediated communication, which tends to Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 demonstrate that, in some circumstances, intense personal relationships can be fostered online – what Walter (1996) has called ‘hyper-personal relationships’ Meeting a Future Spouse Despite the growth of online dating services, and much anecdotal evidence of couples meeting online, there is much doubt over the frequency and vitality of online match making However, despite all the early negativity, researchers across the globe have found ample evidence that people make friends and initiate romantic relationships in cyberspace and often these relationships progress offline (McKenna, Green, and Gleason 2002; Whitty 2008) While we are left in little doubt that people can and form relationships online, we know little about which role the Internet plays in intimate offline relationships Obviously, this is important given that the Internet has become another mode of communication in many people’s everyday lives Approach and Methods The ‘Me, My Spouse and the Internet’ study focused on collecting basic information about how many married people have met their partners and identifying those who met online We explored a number of other issues, such as how married couples use the Internet within their relationships3, but this paper focuses on who meets online and how might this be reconfiguring marriages in Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 the network society We draw comparisons using a separate survey of recently married individuals in the United States, which collected the same information on who meets online and how they met Both surveys were conducted online Online Survey Samples We obtained samples of married couples through online panels in the UK and Australia and a sample of married individuals through an online panel in the US For the UK and Australia, survey organizations with online panels sampled married individuals who were in their panels, offering a fee if they and their spouse completed separate online questionnaires Through this process we were able to obtain probability samples of online marrieds in each country, 920 married couples in the UK, 748 couples in Australia, and 10,675 recently married individuals in the US, who used the Internet (Table 1) The UK sample was weighted to better reflect our estimates of online married couples in the UK, based on OxIS data on age and education We did not have comparable data to weight the Australian sample The US sample was weighted to represent recently married US residents between 20-54 years of age only We will draw attention to the differences across these samples, but it should be kept in mind that the US sample is focused on recently married couples, and is therefore likely to capture a larger percentage of couples with the opportunity to have met online Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 Table Samples of Online Married Couples in the UK and Australia Fieldwork Sample Respondents Weighting UK Australia US October 2007 November 2007 November 2007 Married couples Married couples who used the who used the internet internet 2,401 Individuals 1,496 Individuals 929 Couples 748 Couples Weighted to Unweighted Recently married individuals who used the internet 10,675 Individuals Weighted to Represent Married represent recently Internet Users married US residents between 20-54 The characteristics of individuals in each sample are compared in Table On average, the survey sample in the UK was somewhat older (49 years v 42 years of age), and married longer (19 v 13 years), but with fewer children (1.6 v 1.9) on average, largely due to a larger proportion of married couples in the UK not having children (24% v 18%) Given our sampling frames, it is not surprising that compared to either the UK or Australian sample, the survey sample of recently Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 married individuals in the US was younger (32 years), married for a much shorter period of time (10 months), and had a larger proportion of married couples without children (52%) Table Composition of the Sample, UK, Australia, and US Characteristic UK Australia US Mean Age 49 years 42 years 32 years Mean Length Married 19 years 13 years 10 months Number of Children 1.6 1.9 1.0 % Without Children 24 18 52 The Role of the Internet in Meeting Partners Our surveys indicate that the Internet is indeed playing a significant role in introducing couples In the UK, about percent of married couples who use the Internet have met their partners online In Australia, the percentage was higher, percent saying they met their partner online For the younger, more recently married sample in the US, the percentage was even higher, with 19% of individuals meeting their partners online (Figure 2) Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 Figure Did you first meet your current partner online or offline? Meeting Partner Online Australia Meeting Partner Online UK Online 6% Online 9% Offline 91% Offline 94% Meeting Partner Online US Online 19.2% Offline 80.8% Source: Me, My Spouse and the Internet Study The largest proportion of married couples that met online is middle aged, 26 to 55 years of age (Figure 3) In Australia, the largest proportion of married couples who met online are from 26 to 35 years of age In Britain, the largest proportion is from 36 to 45 years of age, and in the US, the largest proportion is from 46 to 55 years of age This middle age group tends to reflect the larger proportion of 10 Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 married couples in these age brackets In contrast, analyses which examine the percentage of couples within each age group that met online, show that younger people were more likely to have met their partner online (see Figure 4) In the UK, a fifth (21%) of married individuals between 19 and 25 years of age met their spouse online, while in Australia, this figure was even higher, one-third (34%) In the US, the largest percentage of individuals meeting online (42%) came from the age group between 26 to 35 years of age Figure Percentage of Individuals who Met Online by Age People who met online by age UK, Australia, and US % of couples who met online UK 100 90 80 70 60 50 40 30 20 10 Australia US 48 40 29 24 26 12 19-25 18 26-35 36-45 31 20 12 46-55 56-65 11 Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 Figure Percentage of Each Age Group Who Met Online, UK, Australia Meeting the partner online by age (* * ) UK, Australia & US % of couples who met online UK 100 90 80 70 60 50 40 30 20 10 34 21 Australia US 42 25 16 15 87 17 53 00 19-25 26-35 36-45 46-55 56-65 66-75 00 76+ Where People Meet in Cyberspace We asked those respondents who met their spouse online whether they met their future spouse through an online dating site, in a chat room, a social networking site, on e-mail or in a variety of other online spaces In the UK, an online dating site was the most frequently mentioned, by 34 percent (Figure 5) This was followed by online chat rooms (19%) and instant messaging (18%) In Australia, 12 Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 the chat room was the most frequently mentioned, by 26 percent (Figure 5), followed by either an online dating site (for 23%) or instant messaging (18%), which was similar to the UK All other locations were far less frequently cited, including social networking sites, mentioned by less than 5% The pattern in the US was similar to that of the UK, with most people meeting through an online dating site (49%), followed by chat rooms (13%), and instant messaging (12%) There was also a large portion of people in the US sample meeting through social networking sites (12%) Figure Where People Met Their Spouse Online Where did online couples meet? UK, Australia & US UK Australia US 100 90 % who met online 80 70 60 49 50 40 30 34 26 19 13 23 20 1818 12 10 32 654 12 12 422 43 332 Online dating site Chat room Instant messaging (e.g., Yahoo!, Messenger, Skype, AIM) Email Online community Other Discussion Message or Social Multi-Player group or comment on a Online game networking (e.g., World of site (e.g., bulletin board personal website MySpace, Warcraft, Facebook, Halo) Bebo) 13 Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 These age distributions and locations of meeting, suggest that the frequency of couples meeting online is likely to increase in the coming years Younger couples are more likely to meet online, and OxIS suggests that those growing up with the Internet are likely to take this medium as a more natural place to meet people, generally (Dutton & Helsper 2007) Also, social networking sites are becoming more prominent in linking people through common friends and social networks.4 So what difference will this make? The Differences Across Those Introduced Online, or Offline: The UK Case Given a sizeable, and possibly growing, proportion of couples that meet online, it is critical to ask whether individuals are likely to meet people online, whom they might not meet through more traditional paths Our general hypothesis was that online media would diminish more traditional cues, such as age, and therefore enable people to initiate a relationship with someone whom they might not otherwise even strike a conversation If this is the case, we should see significant differences between the characteristics of couples that met online, compared to those who met offline To explore this potential, we compared UK couples on two basis attributes, age and educational background We hypothesized that couples that met online are less likely to be deterred by a person’s age difference, since this will not be as 14 Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 apparent in the online setting, and not as driven by one’s existing social networks Likewise, we expected couples that met in more traditional ways to marry individuals with similar educational backgrounds, since they would be more likely to be in similar social networks In both areas, we found online couples to have a great likelihood of having a spouse with a greater gap in their ages or educational background Figure Age Differences Between Couples Whom Met On- and Off-Line Couples who met online by Age Difference (*) UK Online Offline 100 76 % of Married Couples 80 61 60 39 40 24 20 Age Difference < years Age Difference > years Figure shows that in the UK, couples that met online are more likely to have a difference in their age of greater than years 39 percent of online couples have an age difference greater than years, compared with 24 percent of couples that met in more traditional ways 15 Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 Figure illustrates our findings for educational backgrounds Couples who met online are more likely to have a difference in their educational backgrounds In the UK, we compared couples who both had a university degree, or who both did not have a university degree, and those in which one partner had a university degree and one partner did not 36 percent of online couples had a difference in their educational backgrounds, compared to 21 percent who met in other, more traditional ways Figure Educational Differences Between On- and Off-Line Couples Couples who met online by Education Difference (with and without university degree) (*) UK Online Offline 100 79 % of Married Couples 80 64 60 36 40 21 20 No difference in Education Difference in Education 16 Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 Different Motivations or Priorities It could be that people who meet online are simply less interested in some attributes, such as age and education, than are people who prefer and tend to meet people in more traditional ways and that this lessened interest may apply to additional partner qualities, such as physical attraction Since online couples spend time chatting and getting to know one another online, it could be that they place greater importance in qualities like personality and emotional attraction instead We therefore asked individuals how important they rated a variety of attributes of their partner These were grouped into three scales: the partner’s personality, emotional attraction, and physical attraction As Figure shows, those who met their partner online not place less importance on physical attraction than those who met each other in other ways In fact, people who met their spouse online are likely to place more importance on all of these attributes – personality, emotional characteristics, and physical attraction – than are those who met their partner offline (Figure 8) This is a statistically and substantively meaningful and consistent difference in ratings An alternative interpretation is that those who go online to meet their partner might be less selective about certain partner qualities, like similarity in age and 17 Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 education, and well be more selective, devoting more time to search for other attributes such as personality, emotional characteristics, and physical attraction Figure Ratings of Attributes by Online and Offline Couples Importance of Partner's Attributes by how People met UK Online Offline 6.2 5.9 5.8 5.6 5.4 5.0 Importance (1-7) Partner's Personality (**) Emotional Attraction (**) Physical Attraction (**) Similarities and Differences in Interests It could also be that online couples place more importance in finding people with similar interests, since many online meetings occur in chat rooms, sometimes gaming sites, and other areas where like-minded individuals might go Figure 18 Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 shows that people who met their partner online or offline are not dramatically different in their interests Both categories of partners value friendship, and going out However, couples who met offline are significantly more likely to value a number of other activities, including ‘music and entertainment’, ‘socializing’, ‘community involvement’, ‘entertaining’, and ‘religion’ (Figure 9) Those who met online are more interested in more things Figure Interests and Activities of Online and Offline Couples Interests and Activities by how People met UK Online Offline How interesting (1-7) 5.6 5.6 5.3 5.1 4.9 4.5 4.7 4.4 4.6 4.5 4.1 4.0 3.1 2.4 Friendship ( ) Going Out ( ) Music and Socializing (*) Entertainment (**) Community Involvement (**) Entertaining (**) Religion (**) However, it may be that those who met online have more similar interests, which could be one reason why age and educational backgrounds appear less determinative of relationships Figure 10 shows that couples who met online are less likely to have different interests from their partner While statistically weak, 19 Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 these differences between partners’ interests, such as in ‘socializing’, might be larger for couples that met offline (Figure 10) Figure 10 Differences in Interests Between Online and Offline Couples Couple Differences in Interests by how they met UK Online Offline Differences between Partner's Interests 1.2 1.0 1.0 1.0 1.0 1.1 1.0 1.0 1.0 0.9 0.8 0.8 0.8 0.9 0.8 0.8 0.6 0.6 0.4 0.2 0.0 Entertaining Community Involvement Religion Socializing Music and Entertainment Friendship Going Out Summary and Discussion This exploratory study of the role of the Internet in reconfiguring marriages, introducing couples that meet in person and later marry, was anchored in online surveys of married couples in Britain, Australia, and the US We found that a sizeable proportion of online married couples in each country first met their spouse online, usually through an online dating service, chat room or on instant 20 Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 messaging (IM) This is more prominent for younger couples, but many couples at all ages can be found who met online Given the recent and growing prominence of social networking, and online dating services, this proportion is likely to grow in the future Will this make a difference in that people meet, and therefore have major implications for the evolution of society – literally? Our initial findings based on UK couples indicate that meeting online is likely to introduce people to others whom they would not be as likely to meet through other means It opens people to more diversity in their choice of a partner, such as by introducing individuals with greater differences in age or education, but with more similar interests and values The findings also suggest that couples who meet online place great emphasis in a variety of partner characteristics, suggesting that meeting someone online may be a more measured approach for people interested in finding a partner Alternatively, it could be that interactions online are driven more by cognitions, rather than emotions, leading people to be more attentive to characteristics important to them, and less influenced by emotional responses These findings are preliminary, but suggestive of significant social trends and indirect implications of social networking in the digital age Based on these observations, we are planning to extend our analyses of the differences across couples introduced online and offline to our Australian and US samples Also, we are planning additional surveys in more countries that can examine the degree 21 Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 that these findings can be supported in other contexts overtime It will also be important to develop more qualitative studies that help develop and validate alternative explanations for the findings that have been discovered by this study References Di Gennaro, C., and Dutton, W H (2007), ‘Reconfiguring Friendships: Social Relationships and the Internet’, Information, Communication and Society, 10(5): 591-618 Dutton, W H (1999), Society on the Line: Information Politics in the Digital Age, Oxford and New York: Oxford University Press Dutton, W H (2005), ‘The Internet and Social Transformation: Reconfiguring Access,’ pp 375-97 in Dutton, W H., Kahin, B., O’Callaghan R., and Wyckoff, A W (eds.), Transforming Enterprise, Cambridge, MA: MIT Press Dutton, W H and Helsper, E (2007), The Internet in Britain Oxford: Oxford Internet Institute, University of Oxford McKenna, K Y A., Green, A S., and Gleason, M E J (2002), ‘Relationship Formation on the Internet: What’s the Big Attraction? Journal of Social Issues, 58(1): 9-31 22 Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 Rheingold, H (1994), The Virtual Community: Finding Connection in a Computerized World London: Secker & Warburg Rice, R e., Shepherd, A., Dutton, W H., and Katz, J E (2007), ‘Social Interaction and the Internet: Ca Comparative Analysis of Surveys in the US and Britain’, in Oxford Handbook of Internet Psychology, eds A N Joinson, K Y A., McKenna, T Postmes, and U R Reips, Oxford University Press, Oxford, pp 730 Short, J., Williams, E., & Christie, B (1976), The Social Psychology of Telecommunications London: John Wiley & Sons Sproull, L & Kiesler, S (1986) Reducing Social Context Cues: Electronic Mail in Organizational Communication Management Science, 32 (11): 1492-1512 Walther, J B (1996), ‘Computer-Mediated Communication: Impersonal, Interpersonal and Hyperpersonal Interaction’ Communication Research, 23(1): 3-43 Whitty, M T., and Carr, A (2006), Cyberspace Romance: The Psychology of Online Relationships London: Palgrave 23 Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 Whitty, M T., Baker, A J., and Inman, J A (2007) (eds), Online Matchmaking London: Palgrave Whitty, M.,T., Helsper, E J., and Dutton, W H (2008), ‘Netiquette and Surveillance Among Married Couples’, paper submitted for presentation at OZCHI 2008, December 8-12, 2008, Cairns, QLD, Australia Authors Galen Buckwalter is Chief Scientist, Research and Development at eHarmony Labs™ William Dutton is Professor of Internet Studies at the OII, University of Oxford Ellen Helsper is Survey Research Fellow at the OII, University of Oxford Erina Lee is a Research Scientist, Research and Development and eHarmony Labs™ Monica Whitty is Senior Lecturer at the School of Social Sciences, Nottingham Trent University, UK and a Research Associate of the OII, University of Oxford 24 Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 Notes For a development of this thesis, see di Gennaro and Dutton (2007) Some of the earliest research in this vain was based on studies of audio and video teleconferencing, which argued that mediated telecommunications lacked the same level of ‘social presence’ provided by face to face communication (Short, Williams and Christie 1976) This same model has been prominent since then, extending to studies of the Internet (Sproull and Kiesler 1986) We wanted to learn more about couples’ netiquette; that is their expectations about each other’s online activities and if some online activities were seen as taboo Furthermore, we were interested in how couples use the Internet to monitor each other’s online activities Early findings on these issues are discussed by Whitty et al (2008) See for example, PEW Internet Project data on social networking trends in the US at: http://www.pewinternet.org/ppf/r/198/report_display.asp 25 Electronic copy available at: https://ssrn.com/abstract=1275810 ... Children 24 18 52 The Role of the Internet in Meeting Partners Our surveys indicate that the Internet is indeed playing a significant role in introducing couples In the UK, about percent of married... Partner Online Australia Meeting Partner Online UK Online 6% Online 9% Offline 91% Offline 94% Meeting Partner Online US Online 19.2% Offline 80.8% Source: Me, My Spouse and the Internet Study The largest... online panels in the UK and Australia and a sample of married individuals through an online panel in the US For the UK and Australia, survey organizations with online panels sampled married individuals