CLARITY AND SIMPLICITY Some connectives are prone to ambiguity. Or, for instance, can signify (1) a logical disjunction, that is, A or B but not both; and (2) an alternative name or word for the same thing: "The shag, or cormorant, is a common sea bird along the New England coast." Because after a negative statement may also be ambiguous: We didn't go because we were tired. ("We did not go and the reason was that we were tired"; or, emphatically, "We did go and we certainly were not tired"?) On other occasions ambiguity lurks, not in a single word, but in an entire statement: liked this story as much as liked all his others. ("I like all his stories, including this one"; or "I don't like any of his stories, in- cluding this one"?) So be it, until Victory is ours, and there is no enemy, but Peace. (" . there is no enemy, and now we have Peace"; or " . there is no enemy except Peace"?) Clever writers exploit ambiguity as a kind of irony, seem- ing to say one thing while meaning another. Joan Didion, in the following description of a wedding, wryly comments on marriage by using "illusion" both in its technical, dressmak- ing sense of a bridal veil and in its more commonplace mean- ing of a false hope or dream: A coronet of seed pearls her illusion veil. And the nineteenth-century statesman and novelist Benjamin Disraeli had a standard response to all would-be authors who sent him unsolicited manuscripts: Many thanks; shall lose no time in reading it. For more material and information, please visit www.tailieuduhoc.org 268 DICTION Connotation The connotation of a word is its fringe or associated mean- ings, including implications of approval or disapproval. (See pages 179 ff.) When a connotation pulls awkwardly against the context, even though the basic meaning of the word fits, the term must be replaced. In the following sentence, for ex- ample, unrealistic has the wrong connotations for the writer's purpose: In such stories it is exciting to break away from the predictable world we live in and to enter an unrealistic world where anything can happen. The problem is that the writer approves of the story because it stimulates the imagination. But usually unrealistic connotes disapproval ("Don't be so unrealistic"; "Her plan is too un- realistic to work"). Thus while the basic meaning (or deno- tation) of unrealistic fits, its connotations do not. Such terms fantastic, unpredictable, imaginary, be more appropriate. Barbarisms A barbarism is either a nonexistent word or an existing one used ungrammatically. Inventing new words is not necessarily a fault; imaginative writers create they are called. But a genuine neologism fills a need. When an invented word is merely an ungrammatical form of a term already in the language, it serves no purpose and is a barbarism: She's always been a daughter. (For dutiful) Barbarisms are often spawned by confusion about suffixes, those endings which extend the meaning or alter the gram- matical function of example, as when -ness turns the adjective polite into the politeness. For more material and information, please visit www.tailieuduhoc.org CLARITY AND SIMPLICITY 269 Sometimes a barbarism is the result of adding a second, unnecessary suffix to a word to restore it to what it was in the first place: He has great (For ambition) The story contains a great deal of satiricalness. (For satire) Aside from nonexistent words, barbarisms also include le- gitimate ones used ungrammatically. Confusion of sound or appearance often causes this error: Garbage is also used to fill holes were houses are to be built. (For where) The average man is not conscience of his wasteful behavior. (For conscious) should of gone. (For should've) A women stood on the corner. (For woman) The chances of confusion are even greater with homonyms, different words pronounced the same (and sometimes spelled alike as well): bear ("carry"), bear ("animal"), and bare ("na- ked"). Especially prone to misuse are the forms there (ad- verb), their (possessive pronoun), and they're (contraction of they are); and to (preposition), too (adverb), and two (adjective). Legitimate words may become barbarisms when misused in grammatical shifts. As we'll see in the next chapter, gram- matical shifts can be valuable in writing. (It means changing the normal grammatical function of a word, turning a noun, for example, into a verb, as in "The car nosed down the street.") But if it serves no valid purpose, such a shift is simply a barbarism: Our strive for greatness is one of our best qualities. (For striving) They made their deciding. (For decision) For more material and information, please visit www.tailieuduhoc.org DICTION Awkward shifts are common with adjectives and adverbs. Usually the problem is leaving off a She dances beautiful. (For beautifully) They did it satisfactory. (For satisfactorily) A rough rule is that adverbs of three or more syllables end and that those having one or two syllables are rather idiomatic: some always end (deadly), others never do (welt), and still others may be used either way (slow or slowly, quick or quickly). On the fringe of barbarism are many trendy words such as finalize and adverbs ending in-wise such as weatherwise, wise, economywise. There seems little for a word like finalize, which says nothing that complete or finish does not say. On the other hand, one can argue that weatherwise is at least more concise than the phrase in regard to the weather. One's tolerance for such terms depends on how liberal or conservative one is with regard to language (or languagewise). Idiom An idiom is a combination of words functioning as a unit of meaning, as in "to take the subway [bus, streetcar] home." Often one or more of the words has a special sense different from its usual meaning and confined to that idiom. Thus to take here means "to get on and travel in." In its idiomatic sense such a word cannot be replaced by any of its usual equivalents: we cannot bring, or fetch the subway home." Idioms are always a difficulty in learning foreign languages. They are not easily reduced to rules and each must be orized. Even native speakers make mistakes with idioms. The most frequent errors involve verb-preposition combinations: For more material and information, please visit www.tailieuduhoc.org CLARITY AND SIMPLICITY complained with my parents about their attitude. IDIOMATIC: complained to She concluded in saying IDIOMATIC: concluded by That is where we fool ourselves of our efficiency. IDIOMATIC: fool ourselves about They can't decide what to do with their problem. IDIOMATIC: do about their problem Errors like these probably come from confusing two idioms {complain about and argue with, for example), or from se- lecting an inappropriate one of several possible verb- preposition idioms (we do with physical shall we do with this we do about problems, difficulties, abstractions of various shall we do about that crack in the vase?"). Although they are most likely with verbs and prepositions, mistakes in idiom occur with other grammatical patterns. Some verbs, for instance, do not combine idiomatically with certain objects: People only look out for prestige. (Prestige is looked for, valued, esteemed.) Robert Frost gives the image of a silken tent in a field. (Poets create or develop images.) Adjectives and nouns also enter into idiomatic combina- tions: We have a great standard of living. IDIOMATIC: high The English prefer dining-room comedy. IDIOMATIC: drawing-room comedy For more material and information, please visit www.tailieuduhoc.org Colloquial and Pretentious Diction Colloquialisms are expressions appropriate to informal, con- versational occasions. In writing they may sound out of place: We have a swell professor of mathematics. BETTER: nice, interesting, pleasant Colloquial words are a problem when they fit awkwardly with their contexts or when they are vague. And frequently colloquialisms are vague. (What, for example, does swell mean in the sentence above?) In speech we compensate for verbal vagueness by gestures, tone of voice, the common ground of knowledge and experience we share with our friends. None of these aids to communication is available to the writer. On the other hand, some colloquialisms are remarkably expressive, and these are more acceptable now than they were a generation ago, when writers were more scrupulous about levels of usage. Today, we feel freer to mix formal words and colloquial ones. The result, if controlled by word sense and taste, is a clear gain in precision and variety (italics added in both cases): Joan's voices and visions have played tricks with her reputation. George Bernard Shaw There's another wrinkle to this. Elizabeth An extreme form of colloquialism is slang. We all use slang, and we all recognize it. But we find it very difficult to define. Sometimes slang is an ordinary word given a special meaning: heavy in the sense of serious, or cool in the sense of unper- turbed or a little better than all right. Other slang terms occur only as for instance. Slang tends to be short-lived: that of one generation sounds silly to the next. (There are exceptions; some slang terms are For more material and information, please visit www.tailieuduhoc.org CLARITY AND SIMPLICITY notably okay.) Slang tends also to be richly suggestive in meaning, conveying a wide range of at- titudes and responses and values in a brief expression (square, hep). But the richness is likely to hide an imprecision: often we feel that a slang term says exactly what we want to say, but we find it very difficult to explain what that something is. Even more than colloquialisms, slang has an air of infor- mality. That tone can be useful, helping to create a good writer-reader relationship or a likable persona. Used intelli- gently, an occasional bit of slang will not only say exactly the right thing but also please us by its novelty (italics added): The authors had a reputation for being jealous of each other's fame and losing no opportunity of putting the boot in [kicking a fallen Opponent] don't mean to suggest that Segal is as gaga as this book [Love that a part of him is. Pauline Pretentiousness Pretentiousness is using big words to no purpose (except per- haps to show off). It results in long-winded, wooden sen- tences filled with deadwood. Shorter, simpler words mean shorter, clearer sentences: Upon receiving an answer in the affirmative, he proceeded to the bulletin board. BETTER: Told yes, he went to the bulletin board. Television shows which demonstrate participation in physical ex- ercise will improve your muscle tone. BETTER: Television exercise shows improve your muscle tone. Remember, though, that not all unusual or learned terms are a flaw, even when they could be replaced by simpler ones. Skillful writers employ uncommon words to draw attention For more material and information, please visit www.tailieuduhoc.org DICTION or to imply a subtlety. Here, for instance, a learned word wittily conceals a vulgar insult: Among those who distrust the [literary] critic as an intrusive mid- dleman, edging his vast steatopygous bulk between author and au- dience, it is not uncommon to wish him away, out of the direct line of Vision. Carlos Baker Cliches and Jargon A cliche is a trite expression, one devalued by overuse: an agonizing reappraisal the bottom line at this point in time the finer things of life cool, calm, and collected the moment of truth history tells us the voice of the people Many cliches are simply stale of speech: cool as a cucumber Mother Nature dead as a doornail pleased as Punch gentle as a lamb sober as a judge happy as a lark the patience of Job in the pink the pinnacle of success light as a feather white as snow Cliches are dull and unoriginal. Worse, they impede clear perception, feeling, or thought. Cliches are verbal molds into which we force experience. Instead of shaping reality for our- selves, we accept it, and pass it on, precast (and probably miscast). Cliches, however, ought not to be confused with dead metaphors. Expressions like the key to the the heart of the matter, the mouth of the if they ever were cliches, are so no longer. They are simply old metaphors long dead and now useful, everyday diction. A cliche attempts to be original and perceptive but fails. A dead metaphor, on the For more material and information, please visit www.tailieuduhoc.org CLARITY AND SIMPLICITY other hand, makes no pretense to newness; it has dried and hardened into a useful expression for a common idea. A special kind of cliche is the euphemism, which softens or conceals a fact considered improper or unpleasant. Euphe- misms for death include to pass away, to depart this life, to go to that big in the equally trite. Poverty, sexual matters, and diseases are often named euphemistically. Politicians, diplomats, advertisers are adept with euphemisms: dedication to public service = "personal ambition," a frank exchange of views = "continued disagreement," tired blood = "anemia." Jargon Jargon is technical language misused. Technical language, the precise diction demanded by any specialized trade or profes- sion, is necessary when experts communicate with one an- other. It becomes jargon when it is applied outside the limits of technical discourse. Jargon is really a kind of pretentious- ness, a learned and mysterious language designed to impress the nonexpert: Given a stockpile of innovative in-house creativity for the genera- tion of novel words, substituting members for the input of letters whenever feasible, and fiscally optimized by computer capaciti- zation for targeting in on core issues relating to aims, goals, and priorities, and learned skills, we might at last be freed from our dependence on the past. This is in fact a parody by Lewis Thomas, a biologist who does not write jargon. It catches the faults of jargon perfectly: the abstract, polysyllabic Latinism (capacitization, opti- mized); the trendy word (creativity, in-house, input, core is- sues); the pointless redundancy (aims, goals, and priorities); and the awesome combination of and headwords (innovative in-house creativity, computer capacitization). At its worst jargon is incomprehensible. (The word For more material and information, please visit www.tailieuduhoc.org DICTION originally meant the twittering of birds.) Even when it can be puzzled out, jargon is nothing more than puffed-up language, a kind of false profundity in which simple ideas are padded out in polysyllabic dress. Awkward Figures Figures of speech are words used less for their literal meaning than for their capacity to clarify or intensify feelings or ideas. For the writer of exposition the most common and important figures are the simile and metaphor. A simile is a comparison, generally introduced by like or as. The essayist Robert Lynd describes the bleak houses of a nineteenth-century city as looking "like seminaries for the production of killjoys." A metaphor is more complicated. For now let us say only that it expresses an implicit comparison, not a literal one (as a simile does): When walked to the mailbox, a song sparrow placed his incom- parable seal on the outgoing letters. E. B. white White does not literally say that the bird's song is like a bright stamp or seal, but the comparison is there. In Chapter 27 we look at figures at greater length and in a more positive light (see page 213 ff.). Here we are concerned with their misuse. A metaphor or simile can be faulty in any of three ways: it can be inappropriate, mixed, or overwhelming. Mixed metaphors ask us to perceive simultaneously two things that simply cannot go together: He put his foot in his mouth and jumped off the deep end. We must feel with the fingertips of our eyeballs. Inappropriate figures contain implications that do not fit the context and are likely to imply meanings the writer does not intend: For more material and information, please visit www.tailieuduhoc.org [...]... synonym or a pronoun: The auto industry used to produce cars that lasted, but they didn't make enough profit so planned obsolescence came into use BETTER: came into fashion For more material and information, please visit www.tailieuduhoc.org CLARITY AND SIMPLICITY 279 This narrative is narrated by a narrator whom we cannot completely trust BETTER: This story is told by a narrator whom we cannot completely... benign tumors of driving energy and unsatisfied appetite that stuck to his psyche and swelled into a galloping disease that at once blights and regenerates him False Hyperbole Hyperbole (often shortened to hype in modern usage) is deliberate exaggeration intended to intensify importance or emotional force Though no hyperbole is ever intended to be taken literally, we may properly call it false only when... Mark Twain was a master of hyperbole, as he reveals in this description of a tree after an ice storm: it stands there the acme, the climax, the supremest possibility in art or nature, of bewildering, intoxicating, intolerable magnificence One cannot make the words strong enough Twain is at his best—at least to modern ears—when he uses hyperbole for comic effect: [On the New England weather] In the spring... Another time we went to Mannheim and attended a shivaree—otherwise an opera—called "Lohengrin." The banging and slamming and booming and crashing were beyond belief, the racking and pitiless pain of it remains stored up in my memory alongside the memory of the time I had my teeth fixed Repetitiousness A word, unless it is important, will sound awkward if it is repeated too closely It ought to be replaced... other human activity One shudders to think of what the world would have been like if Shakespeare had never written The Tempest Although these are silly exaggerations, hyperbole can be used legitimately It is an old and useful figure of speech (though not as fashionable today as it once was) In the nineteenth century politicians delighted in spread-eagle oratory, and historians cultivated a hyperbolical... and information, please visit www.tailieuduhoc.org CLARITY AND SIMPLICITY 277 A green lawn spread invitingly from the road to the house, with a driveway winding up to the entrance like a snake in the grass Since the writer intended no sinister implications, comparing the driveway to a snake is misleading Moreover, the simile, aside from being misleading and trite, is ridiculous A snake in the grass is... He [a lax governor] took things easy, and his fellow freebooters took everything easily Hodding Carter [Oliver Goldsmith's "The Deserted Village" is] a poem written not in ink but in tears, a rich suffusion of emotion rising up in a grubby room in Grub street for a grubby little Irish village Sean O'Faolain The line between awkward repetition and effective restatement is not easy to draw As a general... www.tailieuduhoc.org 280 DICTION At the top of the hill were three fine pine trees standing in a line BETTER: three beautiful pine trees in a row But it is also true (as we saw on pages 153-54) that rhyme, the deliberate repetition of sound, has a place in prose, as in this example: those Hairbreadth Harrys of History [who] save the world just when it's slipping into the abyss Arthur Herzog As is often... into the abyss Arthur Herzog As is often the case with diction, it is not easy to separate vice from virtue Generally, rhyme is awkward when it is accidental or when—even if deliberate—it is too obvious or heavy-handed Effective rhyme involves key terms and does not shout The best guard against awkward repetition of sound is to read your work aloud If words jar your ear, change them For more material... brevity relative to purpose, as we saw in Chapter 20 There we looked at concision as an aspect of sentence structure Here we consider it from the point of view of diction When you fail to be concise the result is deadwood, words that perform no useful function and simply get in the way of those that do This chapter is about where deadwood comes from and how it may be avoided Psychological Factors Verbal . a second, unnecessary suffix to a word to restore it to what it was in the first place: He has great (For ambition) The story contains a great deal of. improper or unpleasant. Euphe- misms for death include to pass away, to depart this life, to go to that big in the equally trite. Poverty, sexual matters,