BAI CHUA BAR CHART BACH

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IELTS WRITING SAMPLES You should spend about 20 minutes on this task The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown You should write at least 150 words The bar chart illustrates the data about activities Australian children prefer to in their spare time Overall, boys more of each activity than girls (except for arts and crafts and watching TV or videos) Another visible trend is that, while boys are more active than girls, both still prefer sedentary activities such as TV and video games The percentage of Australian youngsters in both genders watching TV or videos is equal, at 100% Electronic or computer games are much more preferred by boys than by girls The figures are slightly over 80% and 60% respectively Likewise, bike riding also attracts boys more than girls in their spare time Boys’ involvement in this activity is nearly 80%, whereas the figure for girls is a little under 60% Around 40% of 5-to-14-year-old boys enjoy skateboarding or rollerblading, while the proportion of girls at this age is only slightly more than 20% In contrast, the figure for girls spending their leisure time on art and craft is greater than their male counterparts, at just under 60% and approximately 35% respectively 181 words Written by Ngoc Bach Written by Ngoc Bach Page: https://www.facebook.com/tuhocIelts8.0 Page IELTS WRITING SAMPLES Hi Bach, A native speaker would probably not write a better report than this, Bach Very well done in all sections of the marking Grade Task Response 9.0 Your first paragraph is a concise and accurate paraphrase of what the chart contains You change enough words to satisfy the examiner I cannot fault your summary paragraph – you identified two key points and you provided a clear overview Cohesion and Coherence 9.0 The organisation of your detail paragraphs was clear, and it enabled you to make comparisons consistently between the leisure activities of boys and girls The result was a comprehensive and organised report In paragraph 3, you contrasted their participation in both skateboarding/rollerboarding and art/craft The figures are accurate In paragraph 4, you contrasted their participation in the other three categories and the figures were accurately reported once more Vocabulary 9.0 the vocabulary was clear and your choice of words was accurate I was particularly impressed by your range of vocabulary to express comparison and contrast: Likewise/In contrast/while/whereas You skilfully used a good range of words to refer to boys and girls: both genders/male counterparts/youngsters/Australian children I scored 9.0 again Grammar 9.0 Your grammar was band level, Bach It was accurate throughout the report and so I then checked your range of grammar I found the correct use of adverb clauses and comparative forms and you varied the structures of your sentences Overall 9.0 The site (ielts-exam.net) that you used is a good one, Bach Sometimes, I not agree that all their model answers are band 9, however, so be careful of them I suspect that your report is probably better than their model answer (I will check it later when I have time) Your answer might well score from the examiners Written by Ngoc Bach Page: https://www.facebook.com/tuhocIelts8.0 Page IELTS WRITING SAMPLES This was a good task to do, because it is a chart which does not show changes over a period of time, and these charts are sometimes given in the exam You wrote a great report, and I have almost no suggestions to make on how you could improve it Written by Ngoc Bach Page: https://www.facebook.com/tuhocIelts8.0 Page ... Ngoc Bach Page: https://www.facebook.com/tuhocIelts8.0 Page IELTS WRITING SAMPLES This was a good task to do, because it is a chart which does not show changes over a period of time, and these charts...IELTS WRITING SAMPLES Hi Bach, A native speaker would probably not write a better report than this, Bach Very well done in all sections of the marking Grade Task... counterparts/youngsters/Australian children I scored 9.0 again Grammar 9.0 Your grammar was band level, Bach It was accurate throughout the report and so I then checked your range of grammar I found the
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