10 mproving Communication Climates CHAPTER TOPICS • Communication Climate and Confirming Messages • Defensiveness: Causes and Remedies • Saving Face Looking Out/Looking In Fourteenth Edition Communication Climate and Confirming Messages • Communication Climate • Refers to the emotional tone of a relationship • Levels of Message Confirmation • Confirming communication • Describes messages that convey valuing • Disconfirming Communication • Describes messages that show a lack of regard IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES Communication Climate and Confirming Messages • Disconfirming Messages • Impervious Responses • Doesn’t acknowledge the other person’s message • Interrupting • Beginning to speak before the other person has finished • Irrelevant Responses • A comment unrelated to what the other person has just said IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES Communication Climate and Confirming Messages • Disconfirming Messages • • • • • Tangential Responses Impersonal Responses Ambiguous Responses Incongruous Responses Contains two messages that deny or contradict each other IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES Communication Climate and Confirming Messages • Disagreeing Messages • Aggressiveness • Complaining • Argumentativeness IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES Communication Climate and Confirming Messages • Confirming Messages • Recognition • Acknowledgement • Endorsement IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES Communication Climate and Confirming Messages • How Communication Climates Develop • When two people start to communicate, a relational climate begins to develop • Verbal and nonverbal communication can be climate-shaping • After a climate is formed, it can take on a life of its own and become a self-perpetuating spiral IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES Communication Climate and Confirming Messages • Spirals • A reciprocating communication pattern in which each person’s message reinforces the others • • • • Escalatory conflict spirals De-escalatory conflict spirals Rarely go on indefinitely Most relationships pass through cycles of progression and regression IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES Defensiveness: Causes and Remedies • Face-Threatening Acts • Messages that seem to challenge the image we want to project • Defensiveness becomes the process of protecting our presenting self, our face • Preventing Defensiveness in Others • Jack Gibb isolated six types of defensearousing communication and six contrasting behaviors IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES Defensiveness: Causes and Remedies • The Gibb Categories of Defensive and Supportive Behaviors Defensive Behaviors Supportive Behaviors Evaluation Description Control Problem Orientation Strategy Spontaneity Neutrality Empathy Superiority Equality Certainty Provisionalism Table 10.3 IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 10 Defensiveness: Causes and Remedies • Gibb Categories • • • • • • Evaluation versus Description Control versus Problem Orientation Strategy versus Spontaneity Neutrality versus Empathy Superiority versus Equality Certainty versus Provisionalism IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 11 Saving Face • The Assertive Message Format • The five parts of the assertive message • • • • • Behavior Interpretation Feeling Consequence Intention IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 12 Saving Face • The Assertive Message Format • Behavior • Describes the raw material to which you react • Description should be objective IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 13 Saving Face • The Assertive Message Format • Interpretation • Describes the meaning you’ve attached to the other person’s behavior • Important to realize is that interpretations are subjective • Problems occur when sender fails to describe behavior on which interpretation is based IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 14 Saving Face • The Assertive Message Format • Feeling • Adds a new dimension to a message • Some statements seem as if they’re expressing feeling but are actually expressing interpretations or statements of intention IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 15 Saving Face • The Assertive Message Format • Consequence • Explains what happens as a result of the situation you’ve described • What happens to you, the speaker • What happens to the person you’re addressing • What happens to others • Valuable • Help you understand more clearly • Can be sure you or your message leaves nothing to listener’s imagination IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 16 Saving Face • The Assertive Message Format • Intention • Can communicate three kinds of messages • Where you stand on an issue • Requests of others • Descriptions of how you plan to act in the future IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 17 Saving Face • Using the Assertive Message Format • The elements may be delivered in mixed order • Word the message to suit your personal style • When appropriate, combine two elements in a single phrase • Take your time delivering the message IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 18 Saving Face • Responding Nondefensively to Criticism • Seek more information • • • • • • Ask for specifics Guess about specifics Paraphrase the speaker’s ideas Ask what the critic wants Ask about the consequences of your behavior Ask what else is wrong IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 19 Saving Face • Responding Nondefensively to Criticism • Agree with the critic • Agree with the facts • Agree with the critic's perception IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 20 Chapter Review • Communication Climate and Confirming Messages • Defensiveness: Causes and Remedies • Saving Face IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 21 [...]... Provisionalism IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 11 Saving Face • The Assertive Message Format • The five parts of the assertive message • • • • • Behavior Interpretation Feeling Consequence Intention IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 12 Saving Face • The Assertive Message Format • Behavior • Describes the raw material to which you react • Description should be objective IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 13... Responding Nondefensively to Criticism • Agree with the critic • Agree with the facts • Agree with the critic's perception IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 20 Chapter Review • Communication Climate and Confirming Messages • Defensiveness: Causes and Remedies • Saving Face IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 21 ... Can be sure you or your message leaves nothing to listener’s imagination IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 16 Saving Face • The Assertive Message Format • Intention • Can communicate three kinds of messages • Where you stand on an issue • Requests of others • Descriptions of how you plan to act in the future IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 17 Saving Face • Using the Assertive Message Format • The elements... phrase • Take your time delivering the message IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 18 Saving Face • Responding Nondefensively to Criticism • Seek more information • • • • • • Ask for specifics Guess about specifics Paraphrase the speaker’s ideas Ask what the critic wants Ask about the consequences of your behavior Ask what else is wrong IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 19 Saving Face • Responding Nondefensively... sender fails to describe behavior on which interpretation is based IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 14 Saving Face • The Assertive Message Format • Feeling • Adds a new dimension to a message • Some statements seem as if they’re expressing feeling but are actually expressing interpretations or statements of intention IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 15 Saving Face • The Assertive Message Format • Consequence ... other IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES Communication Climate and Confirming Messages • Disagreeing Messages • Aggressiveness • Complaining • Argumentativeness IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES Communication. .. Communication Climate and Confirming Messages • Confirming Messages • Recognition • Acknowledgement • Endorsement IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES Communication Climate and Confirming Messages • How Communication. .. IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 20 Chapter Review • Communication Climate and Confirming Messages • Defensiveness: Causes and Remedies • Saving Face IMPROVING COMMUNICATION CLIMATES 21