DO WE N EED A MARRIAGE CONTRACT? D O WE NEED A MARRIAGE CONTRACT? Understanding How a Legal Agreement Can Strengthen Your Life Together MICHAEL G COCHRANE B A LL B Copyright © 2010 by Michael G Cochrane All rights reserved No part of this work covered by the copyright herein may be reproduced or used in any form or by any means—graphic, electronic, or mechanical without the prior written permission of the publisher Any request for photocopying, recording, taping, or information storage and retrieval systems of any part of this book shall be directed in writing to The Canadian Copyright Licensing Agency (Access Copyright) For an Access Copyright license, visit www.accesscopyright.ca or call toll free 1-800-893-5777 Care has been taken to trace ownership of copyright material contained in this book The publisher will gladly receive any information that will enable them to rectify any reference or credit line in subsequent editions This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered It is sold on the understanding that the Publisher is not engaged in rendering professional services If professional advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication Data Cochrane, Michael G (Michael George), 1953Do we need a marriage contract? : understanding how a legal agreement can strengthen your life together / Michael G Cochrane Includes index ISBN 978-0-470-73751-4 Antenuptial contracts—Canada—Popular works Husband and wife—Canada—Popular works I Title KE559.C59 2010 KF529.C59 2010 346.7101’662 C2010-900204-0 Production Credits Cover design: Adrian So Interior text design and typesetter: Natalia Burobina Cover photo: ©Getty Images/Brand X Pictures/Brian Haglwara Printer: Printcrafters John Wiley & Sons Canada, Ltd 6045 Freemont Blvd Mississauga, Ontario L5R 4J3 Printed in the Canada PC 14 13 12 11 10 CONTENTS Acknowledgements Caution about Legal Information ix xi Chapter 1: Is This Book for You? Divorce Nightmare: Don’t Let This Happen to You Why Marriages Need Contracts Terminology Chapter 2: Eyes Wide Open: Due Diligence and Relationship Building Why Due Diligence? Your Partner’s Health Criminal Problems Financial Problems Relationship Building What Makes for a Mature Relationship? Have Realistic Expectations Develop Good Problem-Solving Skills Ten Elements of Good Problem Solving 7 10 11 13 14 20 24 25 Chapter 3: Your Rights and Responsibilities to Each Other If You Are Married but Do Not Have a Marriage Contract The Significance of the Date of the Marriage What about Having Children? What about Buying Property? What about Income and Expenses? What about Medical/Dental Health Benefits? What about Income Tax Returns? What about Wills and Powers of Attorney? 29 30 31 35 37 38 38 38 Chapter 4: The Legal Consequences of Marriage: Rights and Responsibilities If You Separate When Are You separated? What Happens If We Have Children and Separate? 41 42 45 vi Custody and Access Financial Support What Happens to Property That We Owned Before We Were Married? What Is Property? Property Owned Before Marriage Property Acquired During the Marriage What If One of Us Needs Financial Support After Separation? What If We Move After Marriage? Are There Time Limits for Bringing a Claim? 52 52 53 54 61 63 63 Chapter 5: Legal Consequences of Marrying: Rights and Responsibilities If One of You Dies or Is Injured Joint Property Joint Accounts Having a Will and Not Having a Will Examples of Common Situations Powers of Attorney for Personal Care and Property Support 65 66 67 68 69 70 70 Chapter 6: Marriage Contracts: Creating Your Own Set of Rights and Obligations An Overview of a Marriage Contract Providing for Children Biological Children of the Couple A Specific Formula for Childcare When a Career Change Arrives Spousal Support, Releases, and Sunset Clauses Providing for Your Support Providing for Death, Injury, or Illness What About Your Property? Sunset Provisions and Termination Clauses Managing the Household Budgets and Other Matters Conditional Gifts from Third Parties Contracts Made Outside the Jurisdiction in which a Couple Resides Minors and the Mentally Incapable 45 48 73 73 75 75 77 77 78 81 85 91 91 93 94 94 vii Breakup to Makeup: Reconcilation Enforcement of the Marriage Contract Dispute Resolution 94 95 97 Chapter 7: Having “The Conversation” The “Do’s” Do Make a Plan and Have a Purpose Do Have an Answer to the Question, “Why Do We Need a Marriage Contract?” Do Give Yourself Enough Time Do Use It as an Opportunity to Discuss the Need for Wills, Powers of Attorney, and Insurance Do Keep It Simple Do Be Fair and Respectful The “Don’ts” Don’t Present Your Partner with a Draft Contract Don’t Mention Lawyers Don’t Rush the Discussion Don’t Present a One-sided Option Don’t Blame It on Other People How Do You Have “The Conversation” If You’re Already Married? 101 102 102 Chapter 8: The Role of Your Lawyer Why Do People Fear Hiring a Lawyer? Cost Control Why Do You Need a Lawyer? Why Do You Need a Lawyer with Family Law Experience? Choosing Your Lawyer and Managing the Relationship Buying Some Advice, but Not Independent Legal Advice Using a Mediator 111 111 112 112 113 114 115 117 117 Chapter 9: Signed, Sealed, and Delivered The Three “Must-Do’s” The Contract Must Be in Writing Both Parties to the Contract Must Sign It 119 119 119 120 102 103 104 104 105 105 105 106 106 107 107 108 viii The Signatures Must Be Witnessed Obtain Independent Legal Advice Doing It Yourself How to Ruin Your Marriage Contract Some Tips for Negotiating and Drafting Marriage Contracts 121 122 124 124 134 Chapter 10: Same-Sex Couples Getting Married Is the Easy Part Sperm Donation Same-Sex Families, Adoption, and Sperm Donors Transgendering 137 137 138 138 139 Chapter 11: Let’s Look at a Marriage Contract Marriage Contract Separation Agreement with Former Spouse (If this Applies) Ownership and Division of Property Support Release of Spouse Support Certificate of Independent Legal Advice 141 142 145 145 155 155 166 Appendices Appendix A: My Marriage Contract Worksheet—What I Own and What I Owe Appendix B: Marriage Contract Schedule A and Schedule B Appendix C: Some Considerations and Key Document Checklist Appendix D: Consent for Disclosure of Criminal History Information Appendix E: Permission to Conduct Credit References 169 Index 181 170 172 174 177 179 176 A Power of Attorney for Personal Care? Where is it? Who is the attorney? Who is the alternate? Does it need updating? Does it contemplate instructions for care in the case of emergencies? A Power of Attorney for Property? Where is it? Who is the attorney? Who is the alternate? Does it need updating? Joint Assets/Accounts? If real estate, where are the documents? If accounts, what are the account numbers and institutions? What is our intention with respect to joint assets? Do I have a letter of intent for joint accounts? Where is it? Appendix D CONSENT FOR DISCLOSURE OF CRIMINAL HISTORY INFORMATION  I, Given Name Middle Name Surname (Other Surnames) Gender: Born on the Male Female day of , 20 Address: _ _ having voluntarily provided the above noted personal information, hereby authorize any Canadian Police Agency to conduct a CPIC (Canadian Police Information Centre) search of the “National Repository for Criminal Records in Canada,” and any other police information system to which they have access, for criminal information history pertaining to me, for the purpose of obtaining employment, other than employment that involves working with children or other 178 vulnerable persons I am aware that this search does not include criminal convictions for which a pardon has been granted, nor does it include criminal offences that fall under the Youth Criminal Justice Act (YCJA) Therefore, at this time and until I specifically inform you to the contrary in writing, in compliance with all Municipal, Provincial, and Federal human rights and privacy legislation, I hereby authorize that the results of this search be released to International Fingerprinting Services Canada (IFSC), who will provide the results directly to: Signature of Applicant Date _ Appendix E PERMISSION TO CONDUCT CREDIT REFERENCES  I, , hereby authorize _, or any firm retained by the company, to conduct a search of my credit history For the purposes of credit referencing my social insurance no is: _ My complete address including postal code is: _ _ _ _ This investigation may be carried out by telephone, facsimile, or in writing, with the referencing agencies, financial institutions, or legal institutions who consequently are hereby authorized to supply the information requested I understand this information will be treated as totally confidential _ Applicant Signature _ Date Signed INDEX  A accidents, 20, 24, 57, 148 adoption, 33, 46, 139 ads to third parties, 32–33 Alberta, written agreements, 120 amendments clause, 164 applicable law clause, 163 arbitration, 81, 98–99 assets/liabilities documents checklist, 102, 176 due diligence, 31 family assets, 88 and legal ownership, 35–37 liabilities acquired before marriage, 53 non-family assets, 88 Schedule A, 172 Schedule B, 173 statement, 145–47 (See also financial disclosure) B balance, 17 bankruptcy, 10, 11, 16, 20, 80 base monthly child support, 49, 50 blaming, 107 blanket spousal support release, 77, 78, 79–80, 155–57 blanket waivers, 135 blended family, 2, 32, 33, 34, 35, 40, 46, 48, 51, 75, 77, 105 braces, 50 British Columbia mandates, 39 signing agreement, 121 budgets household, 21, 40, 91–93 lawyers, 115 businesses, 5, 88, 134 C Canada Pension Plan (CPP), Canada Revenue Agency, 38, 68 capital gains tax, 152–53 career balance, 17 change, 75, 76, 77–78 realistic expectations, 23–24 Certificate of Independent Legal Advice, 122, 166–67 certification of contract, 116, 117 CFP designation, 21 child support calculating, 48–52 and calculating spousal support, 62 categories, 49 disabled children, 51 duration, 51 and income, 33–35, 49–51 step-parent obligation, 51 term of payment, 51 Child Support Guidelines, 48–52, 133 childcare, 23, 150–51 children best interests of, 45–48, 63, 74, 76, 132–33, 139 182 and career change, 75, 76, 77–78 concerns checklist, 174 dependant, death of parent, 71 disabled, 51 discipline, 32, 33, 47, 75 education, 4, 46, 50, 51, 75 expenses, 49, 50–51, 92–93, 158, 161 financial obligation to, 32–34, 51 of former union, 32, 33, 69, 84, 92, 161 and intestacy, 38–39 lawyers for, 46 moral/religious upbringing, 47, 75 moving, not wanting, 32 realistic expectations, 22 removing, 33 rights/responsibilities toward, 31–35 and separation, 45–52 sexual abuse of, 20 special needs, 93 three-parent family, 139 views/preferences of, 46 (See also custody/access) Children’s Aid Societies, 46 client list search, 114 closed mediation, 98 coercion, 131 collaborative family law, 99–100, 115 (See also mediation) common-law relationships custody/access, 45 death of partner, 71 intestacy, 38–39 parenting options after separation, 47 property, 52, 83, 146 spousal support, 62–63 commitment to implementing solution, 27 to long-term relationship, 15–16 compatibility, 19 compensation for benefits, 153–54 confidentiality, 113–14, 122 consensus, 117 consent, 122–23 Consent for Disclosure of Criminal Information, 177–78 contracts, components, 144 control, and lawyer, 112–13 conversation due diligence, 7–12 marriage contract, 113, 102–9 separation, 42–44 convictions, 10, 11, 175 corporal punishment, 76 cost of living, 49 cottages See recreational property credit cards, 11, 31, 53, 54, 171 credit check/rating, 12, 179 criminal activity disclosure consent form, 177–78 due diligence, 10–11 custody/access blended family, 32 bringing claim, time limit, 63 child’s best interests, 45–46 corporal punishment, 76 definitions, 45 parenting options, 47–48 and personal conduct, 64 third-party investigations, 46–47 183 D damages/judgments, 57, 86, 148, 171 date of contract, 120, 142 date of marriage, 30–31, 52, 143 and net worth, 53–54, 55 and spousal support formula, 81 date of separation, 42–44, 52 and net worth, 55 death, child, 20 death, spouse debt, 39 dependants’ claims, 71–72 joint accounts, 67–68 letter of intent, 68 powers of attorney, 70 property, 66–67, 83, 152–53 support, 70–72 wills, 68–70 debt ads to third parties, 32–33 death of spouse, 39 unpaid taxes, 12, 31 dental benefits See medical/dental benefits Department of Justice, 49 default statutory scheme, 146–47 discipline, 32, 33, 47, 75, 76 dishonesty, 14–15 (See also due diligence; financial disclosure) dispute resolution, 81, 97–100 divorce assets and, business interests and, illness and, 24 prov/terr legislation, 138 same-sex couples, 138 statistics, 29 (See also separation) Divorce Act, 48, 98 docketing system, 112 documents checklist, 174–76 clause, 162 Do We Need a Cohabitation Agreement? (Cochrane), 52, 83 “donors of the gift,” 94 due diligence checklist, 175 criminal history, 10–11 finances, 11–12, 31, 145 health, 8–9 duress, 130–31, 166 (See also onus) E effort, 19 eldercare, 22–23, 93 election provision, 69 entire agreement clause, 162 estate administrator, 67, 70, 82–83, 84, 90 estate planning, 82–85, 160, 175– 76 (See also powers of attorney; wills) estate, suing, 71–72 executors, 83, 90, 163 expectations, realistic careers, 23–24 children, 22 illness, 24 money, 20–22 relatives, 22–23 expenses banking for, 92 children, 32–33, 49, 50–51 equal sharing, 157 home, 91–93, 157, 158–59 income and, 37–38 nursing care, 22 184 personal, 90, 91–93, 157 special, 49, 50–51 extended care, 82 F fairness, 80, 94, 105, 107, 123, 125, 131–32, 133, 135 family assets, 88, 147 family history, 8, 9, 12, 13, 175 Family Law Act, 29–30, 53, 69, 88, 125 family law expert/mediator, 114– 15, 117 finances concerns checklist, 174–75 obligation to children See children realistic expectations, 20–22 tension around, 30–31 and mediator role, 117 and too much money, 21 (See also due diligence; expenses; income) financial dependants, on death of spouse, 71–72 financial disclosure, 74, 102, 116, 117, 122, 124, 125–26, 134, 135, 145, 146, 165 clause, 164–65 LeVan vs LeVan, 125–28, 129, 130, 134, 135 Financial Planner Standards Council, 21 financial planners, finding, 21–22 fines, 171 Five-to-One Rule, 19 foreign marriage contracts, 94 forgiveness, 17 fraud, 10, 11, 131 full disclosure, 13, 31 (See also due diligence; financial disclosure) funerals, 39 furniture, 35, 53, 87, 88, 92, 128, 157, 170 G gambling, 11, 20, 59, 175 gay donors/lesbian mothers, 138–39 GICs, 59 gifts conditional, 93 from relatives, 4, 57, 60, 93 marriage contract, 89, 148, 151–52 (See also testamentary provisions) Gottman study, 18–19 grandparents, 22, 45, 46, 71 growth, 17–18 H health concerns checklist, 8–9, 175 due diligence, 8–9 power of attorney See Power of Attorney for Personal Care health care benefits, 38, 50 heirs/executors clause, 163 hobbies, 5, 17, 54 home office, 88 honesty, 14–15 (See also due diligence) honour, 16 hospital care, 82 household expenses, 90, 91–93, 157 management, 23, 77, 150–51 humour, 18 185 I J illness/injury, 24, 65–66, 82 impaired driving, 10, 20 income and child support, 33–35, 49–51 and expenses, 37–38 and household expenses, 92 and independent property, 148 and joint accounts, 37 and spousal support, 80–81 income tax child support and, 48 and due diligence, 11, 12, 31 and division of property, 152–53 and joint accounts, 68 returns, 38, 51 spousal support and, 61 unpaid, 53, 54 Income Tax Act, 48 independent legal advice (ILA), 111, 116–17, 122–23 certificate, 166–67 tips, 134–36 independent property, 84, 86–87, 90 categories, 147–49 exclusions, 149–51 infidelity, 16, 20, 44, 45, 46 intention, deceased See letter of intent intestacy, 38–39 and claims for support, 72 and estate administrator, 82–83 negative aspects, 68 and property, 67, 149 intimacy, 19 intimidation, 131 investments, 11, 88 jewellery, 53, 170 job transfer, 20 joint accounts and death of spouse, 67–68 due diligence and, 11 letter of intent, 68 to manage expenses, 37, 92, 157 joint credit card, 11 joint custody, 47 joint ownership, 37, 66–67, 84 judges, 98, 99 junior lawyers, 116 K “kitchen table agreement,” 121–22, 164 L labour, contribution to relationship, 23, 77, 150–51, 161–62 laughter, 18 law societies, referrals, 115 lawyer-client relationship, 113–14, 115–16 lawyers blaming, 107 children’s, 46 client list search, 114 choosing, 115–16, 135 conflicts of interest, 114 and consent, 122 with family law experience, 114–15 fear of hiring, 111–13 initial meeting with, 115–16 junior, 116 managing, 115–16 and non-adversarial 186 negotiations, 115 recommendation not to sign contract, 114 referrals to, 115 relationship with See lawyerclient relationship respect for, 116 retainers, 115, 116 (See also legal fees) role, 113–14, 122 (See also arbitration; independent legal advice; mediation; mediators) legal advice, fair agreement clause, 164–65 legal fees/disbursements, 86, 99, 112, 115, 116, 135 (See also retainers) legal guardians, 94 legal names, 142 “legally separated,” term, 44 letter of intent, 68, 176 letters of administration, 72 LeVan vs LeVan, 125–28, 129, 130, 134, 135 life insurance policies, 58 line of credit, 11, 36, 171 listing agreements, 153 loans from relatives, 31, 53, 59–60, 107, 171 student, 31, 53, 102 loco parentis, 51 lottery wins, 20, 21 loving gestures, 18–19 M mahr (written agreement), 120 manipulation, 131 marriage concerns, 4–6 duration, 59, 62 no contract, 29–40 same-sex couples, 137–38 statistics, marriage contract already married couple, 4–5 and biological children, 75–76 certification, 116 challenges to, 79– do-it-yourself, drawbacks, 124–34 documents checklist, 174–76 draft, 116, 117, 141–68 guidelines for inclusion, 74, 93 initialed changes, 120 language, 134 mistaken beliefs, 130 naming, 142 nature/consequences, 128–29 outside jurisdiction, 94 and property, 83–90 reaching consensus, 117 realistic goals, 74 reasons for, 4–6, 73, 85, 102–3, 105, 107, 108–9 Schedule A, 172 Schedule B, 173 signatures, 116, 120–21, 164 Supreme Court attitude, 133–34 unstable relationship, 94–95 when to craft, 73 witnesses, 121–22, 164 worksheet, 170–71 marriage—rights/responsibilities children, 31–35 and date of marriage, 30–31 health benefits, 38 income/expenses, 37–38 property, 35–37 187 tax returns, 38 wills, 38–39 maternity leave, 76 matrimonial home, 1, 5, 36–37, 54, 55–57, 74, 89–90, 147–48, 158–59 mature relationship, 14–19 meddlesomeness, 23 mediation, 81, 97–98, 115 mediators, 98, 117–18 medical/dental benefits, 38, 50 memberships, 53, 55, 93, 157, 170 memo of understanding, 98, 117 mental health, 9, 24, 175 mentally incapable people, 94 minors, 94 misrepresentation, 129–30 mortgages, 11, 12, 102, 142, 171 moving, 4, 47, 63 O N P negative interactions ratio, 19 net worth, 3, 52, 59, 60 calculating, 53–54 division of property, 85 New Brunswick, challenge to contract, 123 non-adversarial negotiation, 115 (See also collaborative family law; mediation) non-family assets, 88, 147 Northwest Territories, separation, 41 Notice of Assessment, 51 Notice to Vacate, 159–60 “notwithstanding” term, 152 Nova Scotia child support, 49 date of cohabitation, 143–44 Nunavut, separation, 41 Ontario child support, 49 dependants’ claims for support, 72 family law specialists, 115 marriage, rights/ responsibilities, 29–30 property, 53, 88 spousal support, 62 succession law, 71 three-parent family, 139 wills, 69 Ontario Court of Appeal, 62 onus, 133 open mediation, 98 organ donation, 39 ownership, meaning of, 35–36 parallel parenting, 47, 48 parent, ability to, 45–46 (See also children, best interests of) parents caring for aging, 22–23, 93 of deceased partner, 39 gifts from See relatives, gifts from same-sex, 138–39 sex reassignment, 139 paternity leave, 76 patience, 15, 22, 105 peripheral agreement, Permission to Conduct Credit References, 179 positive interactions ratio, 19 power balance, 17, 130–31, 132 Power of Attorney for Personal Care, 39, 65, 67–68, 82, 104, 176 188 Power of Attorney for Property, 39, 65, 67, 82, 104, 176 powers of attorney, 39, 82 preferential share, 38, 67 prenuptial agreement, private health care plans, 38 private schools, 51, 60, 75, 76 probate of the will, 72 physical health, 2, 24 (See also Power of Attorney for Personal Care) pensions, 3, 53, 88, 170, 175 problem-solving skills, 24–25 alternative solutions, 26–26 defining the problem, 25 determining facts, 26 implementation of solution, 27 source of problem, 25 timelines, 26 (See also mediation) promissory note, 60, 142 property acquired during marriage, 54–60 alternative for division of, 88 claim, time limit, 64 classes to remain separate, 147–49 concerns checklist, 175 converted into acquired assets, 86–87 on death/separation, spouse, 52–60, 66–67, 152–53 default statutory scheme, 146–47 defined, 52–53 exclusions of interest, 149–51 gifts/dispositions, 93, 151–52 and intestacy, 38–39, 67, 82–83, 149 and mediator role, 117 and net worth, 85 owned before marriage, 53–54 ownership rights, 35–37 provincial law scheme, 87–88 separate property scheme, 98 shielding particular categories, 85–87 and spousal support, 62 statement of assets/liabilities, 145–47 statutory entitlements, 83 tax consequences, 152–53 tracing/compensation for benefits, 153–54 worksheet, 170–71 (See also Power of Attorney for Property) provincial/territorial legislation arbitration, 99 child support, 48, 49 contract challenges, 130 divorce, 138 financial obligations, third party, 32 intestacy, 38 legal disputes and moving, 63 marriage, rights/ responsibilities, 29–30, 114 property, 52, 83, 84, 85, 87–88, 146 spousal support, 78, 79, 81 succession law, 71 written agreements, 120 psychiatrists, 46, 117 psychologists, 46, 117 public health care plans, 38 Q quantum of support, 62 189 R real estate, 35, 53, 70, 95, 131, 153– 54, 170, 176 (See also property) reconciliation, 95, 109 recreational property, 36, 53, 60–61, 88, 108, 128, 149, 150, 152, 170 relationship building, 13 elements of good, 14–19 problem-solving skills, 24–27 realistic expectations, 20–24 relatives blaming, 107 and child’s best interests, 45 due diligence and, 12–13 gifts from, 4, 57, 60, 93 loans from, 31, 53, 59–60, 107, 171 meddlesome, 23 realistic expectations and, 22–23 religion, 17, 19, 47, 75, 76, 93 remarriage, 32, 62–63 respect, 16, 105, 116 retainers, 115, 116 right to possession, 56–57 RRSPs, 2, 3, 31, 36, 53, 54, 103, 126, 148, 170 rule of survivorship, 66, 67 S same-sex couples, 137–39 savings, 58, 88, 170 Schedule A, 172 Schedule B, 173 security, 17, 23 separate bank accounts, 92 separate property scheme, 87 separation acrimonious, 62–63, 97 and children, 31–35 date of marriage, 30–31 health benefits, 38 income/expenses, 37–38 income tax returns, 38 no marriage contract, 29–38, 41–64 property, 35–37, 152–53 wills/powers of attorney, 38–39 separation agreement, 145 severability clause, 162–63 sex reassignment, 139 shared parenting, 47, 48 siblings, 39, 45, 71, 72 social workers, 46, 117 sperm donation, 138–39 split custody, 51 spousal support calculating, 61, 62, 78, 80–81 frequency of payment, 61 and income, 79–80 and income tax, 62 and length of relationship, 62, 81 mediation/arbitration, 81, 117 orders for, 61 and property, 62 second marriage, separation and, 61–63 software, 49, 62 and special needs, 93 term of payment, 62 time limit, bringing claim, 63–64 spousal support—marriage contract blanket release, 77, 79–80, 155–57 governed by provincial law, 81 special formula, 80–81 190 Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines (SSAGs), 61–63, 78 standard of living, 49, 61 step-parents/step-parenting and adoption, 33 challenges, 32 custody/access order, 46 dependant, 71 and disciplining child, 33 obligations, child support, 51 rights/responsibilities, 33 stocks, 53, 59, 170 student loans, 31, 53, 102 succession law, 38, 71 Succession Law Reform Act, 71 Sunset Provisions, 78, 88, 91 Supreme Court of Canada, 3, 80, 133–34 Surviving Your Divorce (Cochrane), 48, 49, 78–79 T tenants-in-common, 66, 67 Termination Clauses, 88, 91 terminology, testamentary provisions, 151–52, 160–61 third-party gifts, 93 (See also relatives, gifts from) third-party investigations, 46–47 three-parent family, 139 time limits, bringing a claim custody/access, 63 and decision making, 26 property, 64 spousal support, 63–64 time-shares, 11, 52, 170 tolerance, 17, 22, 93 tracing of value, 86–87, 153–54 transgendering, 139 U ultimatums, 105, 106 unconscionability, 80, 132, 135, 165 undue influence, 130–31, 166 V vacations, 31, 45, 49, 54, 93 vehicles, 31, 35, 53, 54, 57, 88, 128, 170 verbal religious traditions, 120 W “whereas” section, 143–44 wills, 38–39 documents checklist, 175–76 everything left to spouse, 69 everything left to third party, 69 no will, legally married, 70 (See also intestacy; testamentary provisions) written agreements, 119–20 Y Yukon, separation, 41