 Writing with Style Style refers to the manner in which something is done. For example, people all buy and wear clothes that fit their own personal style — the way they like to look and feel when they are dressed. The same is true of writ- ing; each writer has his or her own individual style, and the more you understand stylistic techniques, the more effectively you can express yourself in writing. As we noted earlier in the Sentence Correction section review, style in writing is controlled primarily by two elements: word choice and sentence structure. Together, these two elements determine the tone, level of formality, and level of detail, creating the overall feel of the text. To keep your sentences clear and effec- tive, use the following guidelines for writing with style: 1. Be concise. 2. Be precise. 3. Avoid ambiguity. 4. Use the active voice. 5. Use variety in sentence structure. 6. Avoid jargon and pretentious language. These guidelines are discussed in detail on pages 129 — 136 in the verbal section review. However,because word choice and sentence structure are so important, they deserve extra attention with an additional review. Word Choice One of the most empowering decisions writers make is a constant one: word choice. As you write, you are always thinking about the right words to express your ideas. The “right” word has three essential charac- teristics: ■ It expresses the idea you wish to convey. ■ It is exact (precise). ■ It is appropriate for the audience and tone. For example, take a look at the following sentence: The argument is good. Good is not an effective word choice; it doesn’t really tell us much about the argument. How is it good? In what way? To what degree? A more precise word can make a tremendous difference: The argument is p ersuasive. The argument is log ical. The argument is inc isive. – GUIDE TO EFFECTIVE WRITING– 248 Each of these underlined adjectives has much more impact than the adjective good. These exact mod- ifiers create a vivid picture; they tell the reader more precisely what is good about the argument and how it is effective. Use exact verbs, nouns, adjectives, and adverbs throughout your essay. The more precise you can be, the more impact your writing will have. APPROPRIATE LEVEL OF FORMALITY Your audience determines your level of formality, and this is also controlled by word choice. The level of for- mality can range from the very informal (slang) to the very formal (esoteric and ceremonial) to everything in between. Writers use word choice and sentence structure to manipulate the level of formality. Here are two examples: A: It was so cool. I mean, I never saw anything like it before. What a great flick! You have to check it out. B: It was really an impressive film, unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. You should definitely go see it. These two sentences are drastically different in style and, in particular, in the level of formality. Although they both tell the same story and use the personal first-person I, each writer has a different relationship with the reader. The word choice and style — the short sentences and the very casual language — indicate that the writer of passage A has a more informal, more friendly relationship with the reader than the writer of pas- sage B. The emotion of the writer in passage A is much more transparent, too, because the language is more informal and natural. You get the idea that passage A is addressed to a close friend, whereas passage B might be addressed to a colleague or supervisor. In your essay, be sure to write at an appropriate level of formality. Do not use slang, but do not be exces- sively formal either. For example, the following sentence is too informal and slangy for the general audience of the GMAT exam: The restaurant owners would be nuts to just get up and move. They have other things that they should check out first. Be more formal without overstepping the bounds into pretentious or ceremonial language as this writer does: The restaurant owners would be unwise to move without first considering other alternatives to improving their business. CONSISTENT AND APPROPRIATE TONE A consistent and appropriate tone is another essential element of effective writing. To n e is the mood or atti- tude conveyed by words or speech. Think, for example, of all the different ways to say “sure” or “hello.” How you say the word conveys so much of its meaning. – GUIDE TO EFFECTIVE WRITING– 249 When we speak, we create tone by how quickly or slowly we say a word, how loudly or softly we say it, and how we use facial expressions and body language. When we write, though, our readers can’t hear how our words sound, and they certainly can’t see our facial expressions or body language. However, we can use word choice to convey our tone. For example, if you are describing a humorous event, you might use the phrase topsy-turvy rather than chaotic or disorganized. Similarly, if you are describing an unpleasant event, you might use the word tumultuous or helter-skelter to convey the same idea. Punctuation is also an important tool in creating tone. For example, look carefully at this pair of sen- tences: Wait, I’m coming with you. Wait — I’m coming with you! Although the words in the sentences are exactly the same, the tone is quite different. In this example, it’s not word choice but punctuation that changes the tone. The first sentence is calm and neutral. The sec- ond sentence, on the other hand, is emotional and excited. The first sentence, with its comma and period, does not express emotion. The second sentence clearly expresses more urgency and excitement, thanks to the dash and exclamation point. People use an endless variety of tones when they speak. Likewise, people use an endless variety of tones when they write, from cheerful to somber, uplifting to bleak, sincere to sarcastic, and everything in between. On the GMAT exam, however, you will have little room to play with tone. Given the kinds of essays you have to write on the AWA, and given the elements your readers will be looking for as they score your writing, your best bet is to stick to a serious, respectful tone throughout your essay. Sentence Variety and Techniques for Emphasis A strong GMAT essay also demonstrates an ability to manipulate sentence structure and punctuation for effect. Sentence structure, as noted earlier, is an important element of style. If all of your sentences have the same pattern, you will end up with monotonous and dry writing, such as the following passage: Corporations have a moral responsibility to contribute to society. They should support education, nonprofit services, or the arts. They will empower their leaders and employees to serve their com- munity by doing so. They will also reap rewards in the short and long term. They will improve morale and grow their bottom line. Unsophisticated and quite dull, isn’t it? This is because all of the sentences are short and share the same structure; they all start with corporations/they ϩ helping verb ϩ present tense verb. This is quite different from parallel structure, which is the repetition of sentence pattern to create rhythm within a sentence or para- graph. (See page 118 for a review of parallel structure.) This kind of repetition only creates monotony and shows a lack of flexibility in creating sentence patterns. Here’s the same paragraph, but it has been revised to show variety in sentence structure: – GUIDE TO EFFECTIVE WRITING– 250 Corporations have a moral responsibility to contribute to society by supporting education, nonprofit services, or the arts. By doing so, they empower their leaders and employees to serve their commu- nity, and they will reap rewards in the short and long term, including increased morale and a stronger bottom line. Notice how much more interesting this paragraph is now. The five sentences have been combined into two, and only one sentence starts with the subject. Many of the short sentences have been turned into clauses and phrases, creating varied sentence patterns. Sentence structure and punctuation can also be used to create emphasis and enhance meaning. Often, the best place to put sentence elements that you want to emphasize is at the end (the “save the best for last” approach). What comes last is what lingers the longest in the readers’ mind. He is tall, dark, and handsome. (The emphasis is on handsome. If tall was the most important charac- teristic, then that should come last.) She is smart, reliable, and experienced. (The emphasis is on experienced;ifsmart is the most important characteristic, then that should be last in the list.) This also works with the not only/but also construction. In this sentence, the word order puts the empha- sis on the corporation’s obligation to employees and stockholders: Successful corporations have an obligation to the general public as well as to their employees and stock- holders. By revising the sentence so that public is the last element, the emphasis is properly shifted on the obli- gation to society: Successful corporations have an obligation not only to their employees and stockholders but also to the general public. You can also use a dash to set off part of a sentence for emphasis: Successful corporations are not only obligated to their employees and stockholders — they are also obli- gated to the general public. In the previous example, the stress on the last element is heightened by the dash, which emphasizes the importance of this obligation to society. – GUIDE TO EFFECTIVE WRITING– 251 Do Not Repeat Yourself On the sentence level, in general, less is more. The fewer words you use to get your point across, the better. Redundancy is the unnecessary repetition of ideas. Wordiness is the use of several words when a few can express the same idea more clearly and concisely. Avoid both of these as you write your essay. Wordiness and redundancy typically result from three different causes: • The use of unnecessary words or phrases Redundant: The owners must think about and consider the costs and expenses of moving. Concise: The owners must consider the costs of moving. Wordy: The restaurant may need improvement in the areas of food or service. Concise: The restaurant may need to improve its food or service. • The use of wordy phrases instead of adjectives or adverbs Wordy: A survey would show in a clear way whether the restaurant needs to improve its food or service. Concise: A survey would clearly show whether the restaurant needs to improve its food or service. • The use of the passive instead of active voice Passive: Moving to improve business was an idea consider ed by the owners of the restaurant. Active: The owners of the restaurant considered the idea of moving to improve business. Do not skimp on details, but do not waste words either. For a more detailed review of ways to eliminate redundancy and reduce wordiness, see pages 129–131. 252  Writing Correctly: The Conventions of Standard Written English One of the main elements upon which your essay will be judged is its adhesion to the conventions of stan- dard written English. This means that your sentences should be grammatically correct, use proper idioms and sentence structure, and be free of errors in mechanics — punctuation, spelling, and capitalization. The essen- tials of grammar and usage were covered in the Verbal section review on pages 109 — 136. This section will list the grammar rules you need to remember and review the guidelines for punctuation, capitalization, and spelling. Rules for Grammar and Usage 1. The basic word order for sentences is subject-predicate: subject, verb, indirect object, and object. 2. Make sure sentences have both a subject and a predicate and express a complete thought. 3. Respect sentence boundaries. Don’t let two or more independent clauses run together. 4. Keep modifiers as close as possible to the words they modify. 5. Use parallel structure for any series of actions or items or the not only/but also construction. 6. Make sure verbs agree in number with their subjects. 7. Keep verb tenses consistent. 8. Use the correct subject or object form of personal pronouns. Determine whether a pronoun is func- tioning as a subject or object in the sentence. 9. Use apostrophes with pronouns to show contraction only. Pronouns do not need apostrophes to show possession. 10. Use who for people, that for things, and which for nonessential clauses that do not refer to people. 11. Pronouns must agree in number and person with their antecedents. 12. Be consistent in pronoun point of view. 13. Use less for singular nouns representing quantity or degree. Use fewer for plural nouns. 14. Use good and bad to describe nouns and pronouns; use well and badly to describe verbs. 15. In comparisons, add -er or -est for short modifiers. For longer words, use more/most or less/least before the modifier. 16. Do not use double comparisons or double negatives. 17. Use idioms correctly. Punctuation Punctuation marks are the symbols used to separate sentences, express emotions, and show relationships between objects and ideas. Correct punctuation clarifies meaning and adds drama and style to sentences. Poor punctuation, on the other hand, can confuse your readers and distort your intended meaning. For example, take a look at the following two versions of the same sentence: Don’t bother Xavier. Don’t bother, Xavier. The same words are used, but the two sentences have very different meanings because of punctuation. In the first sentence, the comma indicates that the speaker is telling us not to bother Xavier. In the second sen- tence, the speaker is telling Xavier not to bother. Here is another example of how punctuation can drastically affect meaning: You should eat Zak so you can think clearly during your interview. Because this sentence is missing some essential punctuation, the sentence says something very differ- ent from what the author intended. The speaker isn’t telling us to eat Zak; rather, she is telling Zak to eat. The sentence should be revised as follows: You should eat, Zak, so you can think clearly during your interview. As you saw earlier, punctuation also has another important function: It enables writers to express a vari- ety of tones and emotions. – GUIDE TO EFFECTIVE WRITING– 253 . formal either. For example, the following sentence is too informal and slangy for the general audience of the GMAT exam: The restaurant owners would be nuts to just get up and move. They have other. or the arts. They will empower their leaders and employees to serve their com- munity by doing so. They will also reap rewards in the short and long term. They will improve morale and grow their. is the most important characteristic, then that should be last in the list.) This also works with the not only/but also construction. In this sentence, the word order puts the empha- sis on the