The Write Balance Journaling The Writer’s Life Published by Rocky Mountain Creative Publishers Smashwords Edition 6716 W. Sack Dr, Glendale, AZ 85308 www.rockymountaincreativepublishers.com (A division of Rocky Mountain Entertainment) First published in 2012 Copyright 2012 by Debra Quarles. All rights reserved. The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Is available from the Library of Congress ISBN 978-1-933868-35-6 Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book. For information 6716 W. Sack Dr., Glendale, AZ 85308 or www.rockymountaincreativepublishers.com The scanning, uploading and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. May each of you navigate the high peaks of life and see your writing soar. D. Jean Quarles A Note From D. Jean Quarles: In October 2011, I was feeling frustrated, and had been feeling that way for a while. It may have been the fast approaching holidays or the fact I had recently lost my father. While I wanted nothing more than to sit at my desk and type away, the time seemed elusive. There was always something dragging my attention away. I felt wrenched and yanked, pulled and twisted ever farther from my writing. I needed balance. And who better to ask about how to achieve this blissful state than other writers who, I was sure, also had struggled at some point in their career. So I posted ads on the Internet. Writers wanted. Please contact me if you would be interested in writing a blog post on how you balance writing and life. More than 60 amazing writers contacted me, eager to share their lives and secrets to success. I felt immensely blessed by their words and so it wasn’t long before I approached them again and asked if I could put all of their wisdom together into a book for other writers looking for inspiration, tools and understanding. Many of them agreed. These are their words for you. Chapter 1 I Will Go and Live Abroad Anouk Beale I was ten years old when I told my parents: 'When I am big, I will go and live abroad!' I already knew that back then! For a while as a child I also wanted my own bookshop. I loved reading. As a teenager I worked in a restaurant I thoroughly enjoyed waitressing. I noticed that I earned as much in tips as what I got in wages. I worked for a year abroad in a hotel & restaurant, afterwards I dreamt of opening my own luxury hotel. My landslide started when I was 22, I was diagnosed with MS. At first I only heard all the things I could no longer do. After six months I decide not to let the illness, MS, lead my live. I still dreamt of the hotel but now with extra services like yoga, meditation areas and energy providing meals. I moved abroad to Ireland what I had always wanted to do. The following seven years I lived as if there was no MS. Every two years I had a relapse I lost my vision and the power in my legs. After getting medication everything came back like before. I would happily get on with life like I had had nothing more than flu. The land slided completely when I was 29 It felt like my energy was stored in a colander. A couple of months of sleep helped, but I still didn’t have a lot of energy. I was extremely bored because there was nothing wrong with my brain. I missed work and earning money. I wanted to keep dreaming about a future that was worthwhile. Gradually my interest for books came back. At night time I dreamt a lot and intensely. During the day I thought about work I could do from home. For weeks I had the same dream. I decided to write down my dream in the hope that I would sleep better. That night I slept like a baby. The next day I continued writing the dream and extend the story. I got energy from the writing and coming up with the rest of the story. I slept fantastically at night time. I would wake up with lots of energy which got doubled by the writing. My hotel dream got replaced by my dream of publishing my book. It is not an easy road; Plenty of challenges. But during these searches, dreams and - it might sound strange- my Illness I learned a lot about myself. Amazing all the things a human can do! Now I write when my 22 month old toddler has her nap and in the evening when my husband is working and she is a sleep. ______________________________ When I was no longer able to work due to the diagnosis of two life changing illnesses (ms and a blood disease) I started reading self-help books. These books with their teachings helped me get healthy and out of a wheelchair permanently. In the knowledge base economy we live in today young adults especially can use the teachings to get them the future they want. Often we never get to know about these teachings or only later on in live. These teachings are extremely beneficial to know at a younger age. In Daniel and the hill of kings these teachings are brought in a fun way with the use of a not well known Irish myth and legend. I love writing all genres. Writing is just like telling your story but only you can tell more people and help more people. I have a very big imagination and found that I had a re-occurring dream that kept coming back till the day I wrote it down. Now the dream has become a story about Irish myths and legends and how we can get the most out of life. I have a 2 year old daughter who keeps me on my toes. With nice stories I want to help the reader. I have a children’s story called Buteo Buteo. Daniel and the Hill of Kings the story that came together from my dreams will be for sale by the end of the year 2012. Sickly Perfect my life story and how I dealt with 2 life changing illnesses will be for sale at the beginning of 2013 Chapter 2 The Uber-Mom Pamela Bitterman How one balances a writing career with “real life”, or in my case raising a family, is a question close to my heart. I have written and had published three books and one homily thus far and have two new books in the cooker as we speak (write?). I am extremely fortunate to be able to write full time these days. However when I penned my first book, Sailing To The Far Horizon; The Restless Journey and Tragic Sinking of a Tall Ship, I was chin deep in kids, dogs, husband, household and the daily call of myriad activities attached to being an Uber-Mom. One would think that under those circumstances, getting my mind right to write would have been a challenge. Yet I found the shift from mom/wife to writer/author to be as peaceful and welcoming a transformation as the soft sultry breeze following a chilly rain squall. Please, make no mistake. I have always loved being “mom”, raising our brood, juggling all the various demands of the alpha parent in the home (my wonderful husband has always been the bread-winner). Conversely, however, conforming to the typical “housewife” designation was what initially presented a problem and ultimately resulted in a concession I was would never be able to pull off gracefully. My husband and I embarked upon family life while living aboard our own traditionally rigged and maintained fifty-foot brigantine sailing vessel. Our son was a year old when we purchased her, our daughter born on board a year later. I was a mom, to be sure. But I was a “Boat Mom”, and that distinction carried with it a particular pride and a call to arms – arms, hands, feet and fingernails – that suited me to a tee. The role of sailor was one my husband and I had been forced to relinquish a couple years earlier when we lost our circumnavigating schooner, which was our home and our chosen lifestyle, in a violent storm off the North Cape of New Zealand. We miraculously survived the sinking (read the full account in my first book). But in the wake of our rescue, we found having to squeeze our by then very square-pegged, wander-lusting sea- bum personas into land bound predictable family dictated round holes was a feat akin to finessing the toothpaste back into the tube. I immediately took to the earth-mother role itself with natural organic aplomb. However, performing all the strange tasks and assuming the unfamiliar responsibilities expected of a “suburban (albeit admittedly unlikely suburb) soccer mom” was infinitely more difficult. Consequently, I became able to justify all the mundane foreign parts I was suddenly having to play by reminding myself that I’d be returning each day to my singularly unique home and life afloat; my dock, my boat, my berth, my galley, my ongoing varnish, paint and rigging projects, and all my familiar and oddly soothing shipboard responsibilities. Then a decade or so later, when my husband correctly sensed that our kids would soon outgrow their shared bedroom in our boat’s warm and woody lovingly child decorated and outfitted fore-peak, we bought a house. And with all the wonderful new space, amenities, comforts, and convention that it afforded, I found that rather than reveling in the decadence, I became destitute, lost and foundering. Stripped of my former contented shipboard character born of fifteen years living and working aboard proud salty sailing vessels, I had difficulty recognizing the woman I was being asked to become. So when I settled on the notion that I could use my new-found extra time and unnaturally empty hands to pen the true story of my previous life, love and loss aboard a circumnavigating tall ship, I discovered that I found myself again, someone in whose skin I felt comfortable and confident. And I was “home”. Writing that first book became for me a catharsis, an escape, a near demented obsession. I wrote at the kitchen table while the kids were at school and the dogs were nose-butting my ankles. I wrote longhand with furious pencil on fat yellow legal pad. I wrote for blurred hours at a stretch, blew out my shoulder, filled over a thousand pages with the sea, the storms and the calms, the ports, the people, the brave and adventurous gal that I had once been. I wrote to reclaim her. I succeeded. I found myself rescued once again. But this time the act was not merely for myself, it was so that who and what their father and I had once been would now be forever memorialized for our children as well. My next two books and the adventures that prompted them have taken my life on a life of it’s own. Today I have nothing but time to travel, and to then write about my journeys. Though surprisingly, I find this new freedom to be almost as much of an impediment as an asset. Talk about pressure! I now face not only the blank page but also the blank daily planner, blank calendar, blank future! And all of it is waiting to be filled in, meaningfully, purposefully, solely by moi. It is daunting to exist outside the comfortable confines of an imposed writing (to say nothing of living) schedule. Consequently I have learned a new form of discipline – to continue to take dangerous, exciting leap-of-faith journeys, and to then make myself carve out the hours for committing these ventures to print. It is daunting, yet Child, You Are Miracle, MUZUNGU; A-frican Lost Soul’s Reality Check, and When This Is Over, I Will Go To School, And I will Learn To Read; A Story Of Hope And Friendship For One Young Kenyan Orphan, are the happy results of this new writing regime. And I hope they are just the beginning. __________________________ Pamela Bitterman’s first book, Sailing To the Far Horizon, published by Terrace Books a Trade Imprint of The University of Wisconsin Press, the author’s own story of life, loss, and survival at sea is graphically biographical. It encapsulates the author as product of the first thirty years of her life. It is published in hard cover, and will soon be released in paperback as well as digitally. A translated version titled MOT SODERHAVET has been published in Sweden by NORSTEDTS, NAUTISKA BIBLIOTEKET. Muzungu, the author’s Travel/Adventure/Memoir of her unlikely escapades throughout Kenya picks up on that journey a couple decades later. She has also written an award winning (CBC GOLD MEDAL WINNER and SHARP WRIT BOOK AWARD FIRST PLACE WINNER) children’s book titled When This Is Over, I Will Go To School, And I Will Learn To Read; A Story of Hope and Friendship for One Young Kenyan Orphan. Finally, the author has penned a homily entitled, Child, You Are Miracle, published by World Vision. Links to these, plus PR Events, reviews, and trailers to her three published books can be found on her website: www.pamelasismanbitterman.com Bitterman’s writing has emerged amidst her travels, adventures, and finally her marriage and children, her persona as wife and mother – the heart of her; the author as her best self. Her future remains to be seen, and to be told. Chapter 3 Learning to Be Very Creative Marlayna Glynn Brown As a single parent of four, maintaining a regular job was just not in the cards for me. Various illnesses, school meetings, doctor's appointments and must-not-miss school performances did not make me the ideal employee. I've been fired more than anyone I know! As with most challenges in life, I learned to be very creative with making money while being completely present for the needs of my children. Bless the internet! I started consulting as a marketing agent which meant I could write articles and press releases any time I could create the time to log in. For creative release, I blogged. And blogged and blogged. And these two actions honed my writing talent while drawing out a desire to write about my experiences. During a lull in the economy, I worked solidly for three weeks and wrote my first book. As my children grew so did our expenses, which required me to be more creative in continuing my education and funding four teenagers. I obtained my Master of Science in Human Services and purchased a Nikon camera as a congratulatory gift for myself. Instead of entering the counseling field, I started taking photographs and found myself winning contests and making money. I've since combined my marketing skills with my knowledge of writing and photography and am now assisting authors and photographers with promotion at: www.mgbrepresents.com. This career has in turn given me the gift of more time to be able to write so I am once again back to glorious square one. Overlay is experiencing growing success on-line and in paperback. I personally promote my work by contacting book clubs, book stores, book reviewers, bloggers and by sending press releases to relevant entities and organizations. I've found great receptivity by others, and Overlay is now carried in libraries and independent bookstores. I believe Overlay has been very well received because it deals with a subject many know but don't like to discuss -‐ the alcoholism of a family member. I'd like to see the book gain traction in an effort to help anyone dealing with addiction ___________________________ Marlayna Glynn Brown is an Austin, Texas author, screenwriter, actress, producer, poet and photographer. Marlayna was born and raised in Las Vegas, Nevada and bases many of her unusual characters and unexpected story lines on true events. She wrote, acted in and produced her first short film, People That do Something in 2009. Her first memoir, Overlay, was published in 2012. She is writing the sequel to Overlay, and expects publication by July. Marlayna received a BA in literature from California State University, Long Beach, attended Loyola Law School in Los Angeles, California and recently completed her Masters degree in Human Services. However, she insists most of her real learning has come from her avid love of travel and her four teenaged children. Chapter 4 The Rest of My Life RC Bonitz Balancing writing with the rest of my life. Hmm? That assumes there is a rest of my life. The last time I pinched myself I felt it, so I guess I'm still here. Actually, there was a time when the balance question didn't exist for me. I wrote two or three hours a week back then, just for the joy of writing. That was ages ago. When I first started. When I had hair. And a waistline. Things have changed. I'm a serious writer now and have two books in print. (Check out http://www.rcbonitz .com). I'm also working on a sequel to one of them and the sequel to the sequel. Do I sound a little crazy? Don't say it- I know. And, oh yeah- there's that little matter of promotion, which barely deserves a mention right? Takes no time at all? Actually, I'm lucky. I'm retired from the rat race. My kids have kids so no problem there- except when the younguns (?) have soccer games and crew races and field hockey and band concerts and- I need to take a breath. (There are twelve of them so there's always something going on.). So, what do I have to balance? There is my wife of course. For some reason she doesn't appreciate being ignored. (Though I must say she's very tolerant of my periodic hibernation in the little hole I call my office. We've been married quite a long time, so maybe she's seen enough of my mug to satisfy her deepest cravings long ago.) Who said that? There's one more factor to consider- immobility. I know him well. Ever sit at your computer so long you almost can't get up? Bad habit I have. I need to add a little thing called exercise to my balance equation. But, when the muse is rolling he doesn't want to hear that. Anyway, I do need time to get some exercise. Occasionally. 'Nuf said. My balancing act is really easy compared to you folks with young kids and jobs to worry about. I really only have to fuss over writing versus editing versus promo time. I figure I've got it made. I can even fit in a little canoeing or sailing when I get the itch. Now, let's see. Fishing season opens soon, I've got a conference coming up, two books to promote, Sam is in a race, Leslie has a soccer game, got a dinner date with my wife tonight, I'm editing a manuscript, and—oh yeah. Piece of cake. I can always use my best strategy when things get like this. Sit down. Be still- And write a new story. That works wonders for the soul. _________________________ RC Bonitz's latest book, A Blanket for Her Heart, is now out in print and on-line! He has been writing for sixteen years and has many more stories to come. He is a member of the Romance Writers of America and the Connecticut chapter of RWA. A father of five children. he lives in Connecticut with his wife, just down the road a piece from Long Island Sound. Many years a sailor, he has retired to a canoe and fishing rod. And his computer. You can contact him via his blog at http://www.rcbonitz.com or at rcbonitz@gmail.com Chapter 5 Belly Dancing for Balance Aditi Chopra I am a writer and I absolutely love writing. I do it because it gives me happiness. There are constantly new and different ideas floating through my mind and sometimes an urge to pen them down. Sometimes I pen them down and later rewrite them because I have thought of phrasing it in a better way, in a way that suits my personality. It is interesting how some ideas come to you while you were sleeping. You get off from bed and can’t wait to pen them down. Sometimes these ideas shoot off from a conversation with a friend or colleague. You can say that your mind gets trained to capture ideas and then you don’t even have to look for them, they come to you! In all of this, you don’t want to neglect family or yourself. And it can happen if you are too engrossed in it. I sometimes force myself to take a break if I have been at my laptop for far too long. The break is physically required and also needed to freshen up the mind. Your neck muscles need a break if you have been sitting in one position for far too long. I tend to forget that even mind has a certain capacity and should not be burdened more. I find that cooking is a good stress reliever. If you have time, your cooking will definitely come out good. And your family will be very happy and satisfied. Lately I have enrolled in belly dancing class in order to create more balance in my personal life. I find that it is a great workout as well as social outlet. Workout of any kind is good both for physical as well as mental happiness. But if a workout involves social interaction, it is even better. It lets you laugh a little, talk a little and of course burn calories at the same time. This is why I enjoy going to Curves rather than any other gym. Curves setup allows more interaction with other women. Another absolutely enriching hobby for me is traveling. Traveling opens up your mind in so many ways. You learn so much about different cultures, places, sometimes languages. I always find my mind working better after a travel vacation. It could be because my mind needed that rest and I just didn’t know about it. All in all, we shouldn’t neglect our family or ourselves. It is only when we balance our lives, our work becomes better. Aditi Chopra is a motivating leader, process consultant and a creative writer. She is the author of Ten Mistakes A Manager Should Avoid. She utilizes her experience in software engineering, people management and communication strategies to help create value for organizations. You can find her on http://www.aditichopra.com/ Chapter 6 Gift From Heaven Dorothy Davies My working day begins with reading over breakfast. My e-reader is my joy, it’s so much easier to hold than a book when eating cereal … then I drive to work, accompanied by rock music from favourite artists. That’s the first ‘me’ time, driving and singing along to the music. I run a small publishing company and work in an office with my partner, who has his desk opposite mine. Even with that arrangement, if I want his attention, it is quicker to email him … so I do! I do the editing, the book layout and blurb-excerpt preparation work, he does the cover design and puts the whole thing on our website. I leave work around 4 PM to do the banking and post the orders; then I go home to my daughter who has been taking care of the house and all the chores that go with it whilst I have been out. By 5.30 I have my home computer switched on in my office. I either work direct with the keyboard or use voice recognition software, depending on who is writing with me. The first task is to read the stories which have come in for my ongoing Static Movement anthologies. If I decide the story is not right, I send feedback on it so the author can, if they wish, decide whether to rewrite or ignore me. It’s always their choice. Once that is done, the stories slotted into the anthologies, the contracts sent out, I start work on my books or short stories. By then the spirit author who works with me on the horror writing is usually around; I sense his presence and hear his laughter. If he’s not there, it’s one of the other spirit authors who are waiting to write their life story. I always know who it is without anyone telling me, it’s that vivid an impression. It’s one of the joys of being a medium and all the joy of being a writer. In some ways the books are not ‘mine’ but in others they are, as the words come through me to be translated to the screen. The ‘voice’ in each book is very different but overall the control is mine. It makes the books distinctive and still have my touch. It’s a life I would not trade with anyone else! _____________________________ Dorothy Davies, full time editor and owner of a small publishing company, editor for Static Movement anthologies and I also feature heavily in other editors' anthologies too. My books: Death Be Pardoner To Me, the life of George, duke of Clarence (Wars of the Roses) channelled from the duke himself I Diced With God, the life of Henry VIII channelled from the King himself Thirty Pieces of Silver, the three years Judas Iskariot spent with Jesus and his part in the final act channelled from Judas himself I Bid You Welcome an anthology of horror stories channelled from horror/ghost writers in spirit. In case it is not immediately apparent, I am a medium as well as writer/editor/photographer and publisher of my own quarterly spiritual magazine. Chapter 7 Never Off Duty Harper Donohue I had not thought about writing stories since I was a child but in 2007 I was absolutely compelled to write one. I was not writing to be published. I spent every spare moment I had over a period of three years writing that story and when I wasn’t writing I was thinking about it. I thought that would be the end of the whole experience but then I found I needed to write another, and then start on yet another before the second was finished. [...]... was also a writer who suffered years of "If I only had time to write" syndrome It was then that I remembered one critical fact: writers write! !! They don't try to "fit it in" when it's convenient, as there will ALWAYS be something in the way believe me, as a father of two, I know this to be true above all else! The sky is blue, you'll eventually die, and there will ALWAYS be something in the way! Solution... writing I wanted to write the next “Gone With The Wind” only about Utah instead of about the South I had a plan that was, itself, gone with the wind It was the 1950s and women in that time, and especially in that place, had a notion of who they should be, could be and, mostly, they got it from those around them because many of them couldn’t see the difference from society’s expectations and their own “You... been but also that the hole was more vast than the space vacated by them I knew I not only would be able to write, I would need to write Then I read that, if those who live until they are fifty in these times may very likely see their hundredth year That meant that I might have another entire lifetime before me plenty of time to do whatever I wanted In fact, it’s my belief that women in their 50s might... Chapter 19 First The Path, Then The Companion Monty Joynes After you have made the life- altering decision to travel in the direction of the literary arts, the next crucial decision is who will go with you as spouse or companion Do not put the second before the first, or you will create constant conflict instead of literature My second wife understood my passion to write, and she thus became the great facilitator... life? Well, I must admit that sometimes writing does get in the way of my life but sometimes my life gets in the way of my writing How I balance it depends on the stage in my life As a young girl I sat on the couch with pen and paper writing while the rest of the household slept Years went on and, before I knew it, I was a wife and mother These new roles took more of my time and writing became something... JWT in the travel department that I took the giant leap and moved to the creative department becoming a copywriter in the 80's That was a long time ago now But I still remember fondly the great characters and gurus of those days who were stars in their own lifetime I am still in touch with a couple of them It’s an interesting premise balancing life as a creative with who you are in your daily life For... someone to pay them for doing the thing they love – which in my case is writing and telling stories for great kids like them - then they will never work a day in their lives It’s the secret of a happiness I also tell them that I would still make up stories even if nobody paid me because you don’t choose to be a writer – it chooses you Though my wife doesn't think it's so great when the Muse comes calling... in my house slept The Internet had not yet been launched, and the big publishing houses controlled the industry I sent queries to several publishers, and received several rejections After the introduction of the Internet, the publishing world changed exponentially Ebooks arrived on the scene The power had been taken away from the big corporations and placed squarely in the hands of the people Maybe... It also feeds on the ignorance of its victims They benignly accept their lot because they know no better Something similar was at work when I married and had children I happily took a new direction to accommodate my husband’s career and the life the winds of the times presented to me I left my writing with hardly a backward look Back then, in the days before women had been made aware, the possibilities... perk to being a parent In my life balance is achieved by truly living each day for the day while planning ahead for the future to make sure the past doesn’t sneak up on me, and dump a pile of work on my desk when I’m on a lunch break The art and skill of balance is organization in my work life, home life, children’s lives and writing life _ Austine is a mother of two boys, three cats and . The Write Balance Journaling The Writer’s Life Published by Rocky Mountain Creative Publishers Smashwords Edition 6716. being a medium and all the joy of being a writer. In some ways the books are not ‘mine’ but in others they are, as the words come through me to be translated to the screen. The ‘voice’ in each. thinking about it. I thought that would be the end of the whole experience but then I found I needed to write another, and then start on yet another before the second was finished. I get very