COACH BOBBY BOWDEN “Prayer Coach teaches excellent theology, but it is the most useful practical help I know to those wanting to develop the discipline of prayer.” —D. A. C, Research Professor of New Testament, Trinity Evangelical Divinity School “is book had a singular effect on me. . . . It made me want to pray more.” —B H, Senior Pastor, Willow Creek Community Church and Author of Too Busy Not to Pray “e word coach always brings to mind the men who led me throughout my career. ey possessed a combination of encouragement, challenge, humility, praise, instruction, and expectation toward me. May this book uplift and challenge you to take your prayer life to new heights, just as those men did for me and the game of football.” —M S, Hall of Fame Chicago Bears Linebacker and Assistant Head Coach of the San Francisco 49ers “Our prayer life should be coached at the highest level to have the ultimate relationship with our Lord and Savior. Look no farther than Prayer Coach.” —J F-D, USA 2004 Olympic Gold Medalist, Softball Pitcher “Get ready to be encouraged. Prepare to learn how to be intimate with the King of creation. ere is nothing in my life that compares with drawing near to God. It is the deepest joy of my heart. So you can imagine my excitement to come upon a resource that equips me more effectively. ere are scores of ideas and insights that Prayer Coach uncovers that promise to sustain an unquenchable desire for more of Jesus in my life.” —B MC, Founder, Promise Keepers and Former Head Football Coach of the University of Colorado Buffaloes “When I think of my friend Jim, the word prayer always comes to mind. I’m thankful he has dis- tilled his lifetime of insights and practices into this wonderfully accessible and practical book.” —L S, Author of e Case for the Real Jesus “Jim has done a masterful job of making prayer accessible while retaining its mysterious majesty.” —S R, Talk Show Host, WYLL Radio and FOX News Contributor “One of the most inspiring books I have ever read! Prayer Coach gives practical steps to changing your prayer life. But don’t let the easy application fool you. is book takes your prayer life from T-ball to the big leagues.” —M D, Bassist/Vocalist, Superchick “Are you wondering how to grow in your prayer life? Nicodem offers practical suggestions for you to consider, helpful tips that come straight from his own personal experience as a follower of Christ and a pastor. His insights will assist you in developing a deeper relationship with our heavenly Father. Nothing is more important.” —F G, President and CEO, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association and Samaritan’s Purse “At last a practical guide to prayer that avoids the ethereal heights to which most of us can never ascend. For all of us who say with the disciples, ‘Lord, teach us to pray,’ Jim gives us a clear and attainable path toward learning to enjoy the blessings and benefits of personal conversations with God.” —J S, President, Cornerstone University and Former President, Moody Bible Institute “Jim will motivate, encourage, and give you multiple, practical ways to improve your prayer life—with great joy. Prayer Coach is extremely practical, a joy to read, and loaded with easy- to-use tools for effective prayer habits.” —D S, Founder, Sonlife Ministries and President, Global Youth Initiative “is is a magnificent book, and as a coach Nicodem would be hard to beat. He used to be my pastor, and he teaches lessons that few can forget.” —C C, Former President, World Relief and Senior Pastor, Walnut Hill Community Church “With an honest, personal approach, Nicodem rallies people to prayer. You will find the book filled with ‘game plan’ suggestions, both offensive and defensive. We have seen even the enemies of Christ brought into the kingdom through prayer.” —T W, Executive Director, the Voice of the Martyrs “What most of us long for is instruction over inspiration. We know we need to pray; what we lack is knowing how to do it. Nicodem’s work is inspiring because it’s practical. Having worked with students ages 12 to 22 for over 20 years, I assure you that the principles in this book are applicable for youth as well as adults. Youth pastors, here’s the book you’ve been waiting for to teach your students how to consistently pray!” — T D, Assistant Professor of Youth Ministry, Moody Bible Institute “Everybody prays—even unbelievers. And everybody struggles with prayer—even saints. Prayer Coach is aimed at helping real people learn to pray Jesus’ way.” —J O, Pastor, Menlo Park Presbyterian Church and Author of When the Game Is Over, It All Goes Back in the Box “Jim helps to eliminate the barriers some may have in speaking clearly to God. Prayer Coach has already made me a much more effective prayer warrior. Now I enjoy my prayer time with our awesome and powerful God.” —K R. C, Vice President of Automotive Sales Operations, Sears “How surprising and refreshing—a pastor of a large church who loves prayer! Every chapter inspires readers toward prayer without ‘guilting’ them.” — L A, Director, Billy Graham Center, Wheaton College “Pastor Jim is easy to relate to. Prayer Coach made prayer enjoyable again. In any areas of prayer that I was lacking before, I now feel prepared to change.” —S D, Senior, Larkin High School 7FCGGK5M6CC?G K<95HCB =@@=BC=G Prayer Coach: For All Who Want to Get Off the Bench and onto the Praying Field Copyright © 2008 James L. Nicodem Published by Crossway Books a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers 1300 Crescent Street Wheaton, Illinois 60187 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval sys- tem, or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher, except as provided for by USA copyright law. Holy Spirit Take Control by Rory Noland. © 1984 Rory Noland, administered by Willow Creek Association. Used with Permission. Design and typesetting by Lakeside Design Plus Cover design by Jessica Dennis Cover photo: iStock First printing 2008 Printed in the United States of America Scripture references are from e Holy Bible: New International Version ® . Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved. e “NIV” and “New International Version” trademarks are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by International Bible Society. Use of either trademark requires the permission of International Bible Society. All emphases in Scripture quotations have been added by the author. ISBN 978-1-58134-884-2 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Nicodem, James L., 1956– Prayer coach : for all who want to get off the bench and onto the praying field / James L. Nicodem. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 978-1-58134-884-2 (hc) 1. Prayer—Christianity. I. Title. BV210.3.N54 2008 248.3'2—dc22 2008000792 LB 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 09 08 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 To some of the prayingest people I know: Mom and Dad, and My Prayer Partners at Christ Community Church. God’s blessing on my life and ministry can be traced back to your commitment to praying for me. 7 Contents Foreword 9 Introduction: Meet Your Coach 11 Part 1: The Busters 1. Obstacles: Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail 17 2. More Obstacles: Can You Hear Me Now, Lord? 28 Part 2: The Basics 3. Patterns: Get into a Rut 43 4. Promptings: Pray When the Spirit Says Pray 63 5. Passion: Say It Like You Mean It 81 Part 3: The Building Blocks 6. Confess: Pull Sin up by the Roots 99 7. Honor: Enter His Courts with Praise 118 8. Ask: Value the Relationship over the Request 133 9. ank: Practice “ank-You” erapy 145 Part 4: The Beneficiaries 10. Unbelievers: Open a Door, Your Mouth, and a Heart 161 8 CONTENTS 11. Children: Don’t Let em Leave Home without It 178 12. Leaders: Protect the Quarterback 195 13. Accountability Partners: Be Your Brother’s (or Sister’s) Keeper 212 14. Satan: Dress for Success 230 Appendix: A to Z List of Biblical Names, Titles, and Attributes of God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit 247 Notes 252 Scripture Index 255 9 Foreword have had a lot of shortcomings during my seventy-eight years but lack of prayer has never been one. I have been praying for as far back as I can remember, thanks to my mother, father, and Ruhama Baptist Church. God has always answered my prayers, sometimes yes and sometimes no. It’s amazing but some of the no’s have been some of the wisest things that “never hap- pened” to me. Prayer must be the most neglected of powers available to hu- mans. We have a God who gives us this opportunity to talk to him, tell him we love him, and ask that he take care of our needs. God wants to talk. God talks to us when we read the Bible. We talk to him when we pray. Every person needs to set a time to pray. I arise each morn- ing at 4:00 a.m. I set the coffee on and then my wife joins me. We start by reading Scripture. We began in Genesis and are now in the New Testament. When we finish Revelation we will go back and read the whole Bible again. We then have our prayer time together. is is my formal prayer time but I continue to pray throughout the day. God has answered yes to so many of my prayers I could write a book. Skeptics would say no, but that is their problem. How do I [...]... on prayer Read his book and I believe your desire to pray will increase I know his people’s prayers have been instrumental in the growth and quality of Christ Community Church God is wonderful! —Coach Bobby Bowden, Head Football Coach, Florida State University Seminoles, Winningest Coach in Major College Football History 10 Introduction Meet Your Coach magine this You decide to take up golf as a hobby . COACH BOBBY BOWDEN “Prayer Coach teaches excellent theology, but it is the most useful practical help. been instrumental in the growth and quality of Christ Community Church. God is wonderful! —Coach Bobby Bowden, Head Football Coach, Florida State University Seminoles, Winningest Coach in Major