[...]... questions Please buy a notebook or blank book, or use a computer to respond to these questions If you would like something more structured with the questions in it and additional tips for non-BPs, you can purchase the Stop Walking on Eggshells Action Step Journal (see appendix A) When the Action Step should be recorded in your journal, you’ll see a & symbol 16 The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook. .. shots, put through the spin cycle of a washing machine, and asked to play Pin the Tail on the Donkey And if I don’t put the tail in the right place, God help me —a member of the Welcome to Oz Internet support list 10 The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook ou’re probably reading this workbook because you suspect that someone in your life has Borderline Personality Disorder Or perhaps the title struck... may work the Action Steps and clarify their feelings about their situation, as well as understand it Walking on Eggshells: Does Someone in Your Life Have BPD Traits? 13 intellectually But changing how they feel is not so easy At the end of the journey, they can see their final destination—a place where they can detach from other people’s problems but still care about them, and a place where someone else’s... professional help for their problems dealing with their significant others.) Increasingly, I am now hearing online support group participants say they wish their therapists had had the information in SWOE, or wish that their therapists had referred them to Kreger’s Web site and Welcome to Oz support groups The combination of pertinent information, together with interpersonal support, is working The goal... and information about I Introduction 3 the many different ways BPD affects the sufferer and the people around them, I decided to start an Internet support group and write a book (eventually called Stop Walking on Eggshells) with therapist Paul Mason, M.S Our hope was to validate the experiences of the millions of “nonborderlines,” or non-BPs (partners, friends, or family member of a person with BP);... the pain they’re in is worse than the fear of the unknown The more you spare the BP from reaping the natural consequences of his behavior, the less likely it is that he will change That is your power: the ability to take control of your own life, make the best choices for yourself, and let the BP face the consequences of his own actions Walking on Eggshells: Does Someone in Your Life Have BPD Traits?... yourself feel emotions that may have been buried for a long time It’s easier, but the payoff at the end is not as great Rather than truly experiencing the journey along the way, you gaze at the scenery from behind the glass on the train You may go through this workbook quickly instead of slowly working the Action Steps So at the end of the “trip,” you may find that your final destination isn’t as different... members with x The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook BPD repeatedly insist that these online support groups—supplemented with information in Stop Walking on Eggshells (SWOE), Kreger’s earlier book—have helped them more quickly and effectively than counseling did (Research conducted by Kreger and statistics professor Edith Cracchiolo [Cracchiolo and Kreger 1997] showed that 75 percent of the [then 250]... have done in this situation?” and “What does this confusing 4 The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook behavior mean?” BPD is a complex disorder, and intellectual knowledge doesn’t necessarily translate into personal enlightenment Most importantly, it takes time and feedback for non-BPs to go through the stages of grief and the five stages of the BP/non-BP relationships detailed in SWOE Thus, the idea... this workbook possible: my Stop Walking on Eggshells coauthor Paul Mason, M.S., my husband Robert Burko, my guardian angel Edith Cracchiolo, and all the staff at New xii The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook Harbinger—especially Patrick Fanning (my mentor through this project) From the owners to the people who work in customer service, everyone has been enthusiastic, supportive, and flexible Their . together. They are 4 The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook unfamiliar with the high-functioning, non-self-harming BPs, and one group even denies that they. organizations to provide support and information about 2 The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook the many different ways BPD affects the sufferer and the people