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Valuable tips and tricks in entering a new relationship
The Do’s and Don’ts of Entering a Relationship Stephen M Robinson Disclaimer: The information provided in this book is designed to provide helpful information on the subjects discussed The publisher and author are not responsible for any negative consequences from any action, application or preparation, to any person reading or following the information in this book References are provided for informational purposes only and not constitute endorsement of any websites or other sources Copyright © 2013 by UK Kindle Creations All rights reserved You cannot give this ebook away free or sell it You not have resale rights to this ebook This ebook may not be reproduced in any format without the expressed written permission of UK Kindle Creations All Violators will be prosecuted While attempts have been made to verify information did not contain in this publication, neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, omissions, interpretations or usage of the subject matters herein This publication contains the opinions and ideas of its author and is intended for informational purposes only The author and publisher shall in no event be held liable for any loss or other damages incurred from the usage of this publication Contents That perfect relationship Finding that special someone So you’ve found that special someone? The Dos and Don’ts *Bonus Chapter* Dos and Don’ts of Texting in Relationships Being unfaithful If it doesn’t work out Enjoy That perfect relationship We’ve all dreamt of it at some point or another Meeting that perfect person and falling in-love then spending the rest of your lives together happily ever after OK you can wake up now I’m not saying it can’t happen, but if it’s as smooth as that then someone needs to tell me the secret No relationship forms and lasts without its fair share of hurdles, and often these hurdles can make the relationship stronger But sometimes it can blow the whole thing apart and ruin that amazing dream you once had That’s why it’s important to get things off to a good start from the word go The perfect relationship would consist of 100% trust, amazing communication and openness, the desire to push each other to the limits in all aspects of each other’s lives and to support each other through anything that life throws at you This can happen It just takes the right start I’ll be getting a bit controversial in some parts of the book, so prepare yourself for that But let’s face it relationships are a spicy topic and for many people finding a good relationship is a huge, yet important challenge so they need to be told If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting…right? Unfortunately there are countless factors that contribute to how every individual behaves in a relationship so the perfect relationship would be pretty close to a miracle if I ever saw one But don’t give up, relationships can be amazing Finding that special someone Ok this section isn’t going to be long, firstly because it’s not always the best idea to be searching to find a special someone and secondly the actual dating process is a whole different book But what I would like to say is that there’s no harm in being picky Knowing what you want is one of the most important things to entering a successful relationship, or any other venture you face in life It’s knowing what you want that keeps you striving to achieve your best and not settling for second best If you want someone rich, someone with black hair, someone who makes you laugh then don’t stop until you have that Fortunately love doesn’t tend to happen when someone meets a certain criteria that we set, it usually happens when someone fills us with positive emotions and we become addicted to that feeling Be picky, but don’t be logical Logic has no place in actual romance and never will You hear countless love stories where the poor, ugly nice guy eventually gets the girl, or the girl who’s just looking for a sensible man keeps falling in love with the bad boys This is because our emotions over-ride any logical thoughts we have when it comes to falling for someone Another reason I don’t advise searching for that special someone is because coming from the mentality that you want to find love puts you in a vulnerable place You will be more likely to let your guard down when you meet someone who could potentially be someone you like, and you will let yourself fall for someone that normally you wouldn’t fall for Let’s look at a ‘hypothetical’ scenario There are two boys that have grown up together (could just as well be girls) and they have been friends all their lives They grew up playing together on the street, riding their bicycles and pulling pranks on other kids As they start to get older they start to feel attraction for other people and start to act on this Now one boy falls in love with the first girl that he has any romantic connection with He has that ideal teenage relationship that you see in the movies, and it ends up lasting the rest of his life This is great, and extremely romantic Let’s see what happened to his friend His friend ended up getting into a few romantic connections with various girls He decided that whilst he is young he doesn’t want a committed relationship in case it holds him back in life before he achieves all of his goals OK this isn’t really very romantic, and a few readers will be thinking “playaaa” but that’s not quite the picture I’m trying to paint Let’s say he hasn’t had any one night stands, he takes his time to get to know girls and he’s very honest about not wanting relationships with them Then whilst he is living his life, meeting girls and having fun he finds himself extremely confused There’s a girl he’s seeing that has really captured his heart He just can’t stop thinking about her and she’s exactly what he would want if he wanted to settle down They’re unhappy: If this is the case, then it’s quite obvious what I’m going to say now You only have one shot at this life you’re living so why would you spend even one moment of it in a relationship that makes you unhappy? Also, if this is the case as you’re entering a new relationship then get out now You have no excuse If you’re not happy as the relationship is in its early stages then there’s not much chance you’ll be happy further down the line A relationship needs to be built on solid foundations and you being unhappy and unfaithful is a recipe for disaster They’re bored: The same goes If you’re bored then get out of the relationship If you’re cheating because you’re bored then why not just be single and have fun, without hurting anyone? They like the Excitement: If you’re someone that likes the thrill of having an affair and feeling the risk of getting caught, then you need to decide whether it’s worth holding that over your head If you can live with the thought that at any moment your partner could find out about what you’re doing and it could crush their whole world, then there’s no advice I could give to you here in this book That could take a few therapy sessions before we decided whether you are going to stop or not You should be able to get your excitement from within your relationship, and if you’re not getting that then it’s time you had a think about whether the relationship is worth holding on to They think their partner might be cheating on them: Ok this is going to get a little complex Thinking that your partner could be cheating on you can either be because you are seeing genuine signs that point you to this conclusion, or you are getting too insecure and paranoid Either way, cheating on them isn’t going to make anything better Let me explain this to those of you who might not quite understand why this would be a reason to cheat on someone It’s quite common that someone who believes their partner is cheating on them will cheat themselves There is usually one of two reasons for this Firstly the person will think along the lines of, well if they’re cheating on me then I’m going to cheat on them so I don’t look like a fool If this is you, then I would strongly suggest you read this carefully If you decide to this when entering a relationship, you could be in with a nasty shock one day Say you end up staying together for a long time, and you fall deeply in love with this person Then one day you find out that indeed you were right, they had cheated on you I’m afraid the chances of you feeling better because you cheated on them too are next to nothing You are still going to feel just as hurt and betrayed, but you can add a guilty conscience to this too You might decide that you want to break up because of what you found out, but this could prove difficult because you will almost feel like you want to forgive them because you did it too This is going to stress you out a lot and you’re going to go through a very rough patch in your life However, at least if you were faithful all the way down the line you can take the guilty conscience out of the equation I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but at least you have your pride Also, of course, there is the chance that further down the line your partner will find out that you cheated on them and they could leave you Your whole world ripped from beneath your feet for some stupid mistake you made years ago Do you want to risk that just because you think your partner might be cheating on you? The other reason for someone cheating because they think their partner is cheating on them is actually slightly backwards It is usually found that if someone is cheating they will start to think that their partner is cheating too and will just it more This can be in the form of projection, which is when we are in denial of our own faults and so project them onto others as a form of defence for ourselves So when someone is cheating they will start accusing their partner of cheating because they are in denial of doing it themselves Another reason for cheating leading to a person believing their partner must be cheating is because they often think “well if I’m getting away with it, then how I know they aren’t?” This is a viscous cycle, and I would suggest to you that if you believe your partner to be cheating on you so much that you would go out and cheat on them for any reason, then you need to question whether you should even be in that relationship They’re not getting enough action: What happens in the bedroom in a relationship is important, there’s no two ways about it But it’s not excuse to be unfaithful If you are unsatisfied with the amount of ‘bedroom’ time you’re getting in your relationship then it’s once again that time to think about whether you should be in that relationship at all Talk to your partner, don’t just go running off with the first person to pay you any attention You might find that there is a reason for the lack of action in the relationship, and that it can be easily resolved Open and honest, remember? If it doesn’t work out Well there’s been some pretty solid advice in here to help you on your way to having an amazing relationship, whether you’re looking to find one or you’re in a new one I hope you can use some of the tips and techniques in here to make it last long and stay fun If you’ve read this book and you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, I hope there have been things that you can also take away to make your relationship better But no book in the world is going to absolutely guarantee that you can start a relationship and make it turn into a happy one The fact of the matter is; some people just aren’t compatible You can try your best to ignore floors in people but when you get close to them and see it a lot, sometimes it’s just too much to handle and that’s just the way it is I personally believe that the sooner you realise these things the better You don’t want to wait as long as you can, to keep trying to make things work and then find out that you really just can’t Breaking up with someone is one of the hardest things to do, and the longer you leave it the harder it will get You have to listen to your feelings here, really let your mind and body tell you what it thinks about being with this person Ideally your mind and body will at first feel nothing but excitement and happiness when you think about and see your new partner, but that’s not always going to be the case Sometimes you’re just not ready for a relationship, or it’s just not the right person for you This is going to happen occasionally if you have a lot of relationships It might be that the first time you enter a relationship it turns out to be the only relationship you will ever have, but for most people there’s a few bumpy roads along the way before finding that special someone to have that special relationship with So, how you actually break up with someone? Well like I say, it’s better to find out that you don’t want to be with someone early This way, the break up isn’t going to be as painful for either of you Of course it’s not going to be all smooth sailing either but its far better in the long run that it’s early before even stronger emotions are formed The key is not to be critical of your partner, because this is going to affect them forever in some way or another You don’t want to send them off thinking that they’ll never find a good relationship because eventually everyone will see the things you saw and will want to break up with them Whatever your problem with them was, it was your problem Someone else somewhere might find that to be a really attractive quality and it’s not fair if you put it in their head that no one else will ever like these things about them You have to be completely non-judgemental about things Just accept that they are the way they are and you just didn’t happen to like that in a partner and so you are moving on You have to be careful about what you say when breaking up with someone, but if you’re mature enough about the situation then it doesn’t really matter too much about what you say because it will be coming from the right place If you have made your mind up and you know that you don’t want to be in a relationship with that person, then there’s little that can change that So staying strong and breaking the news gently will usually be enough to end things without it getting ugly Everyone reacts differently to this sort of thing but what matters is how you react, and you basically have to be strong and logical about the situation Try not to let your emotions get involved, just realise that there is no way the relationship is going to turn into a happy future so it’s best that you go your separate ways If it happens that your partner is the one who wants to break it off, you have two choices You can choose to fight for your relationship and convince them that you should stay together and work things out, or you can accept their decision and move on Now it’s hard for me to advise you on this without knowing what the situation is But I would say this is something you should think about carefully, because I genuinely believe that life’s too short to be trying to win someone back who doesn’t want you Especially when there could be someone right under your nose that just hasn’t had the opportunity to show you how they feel But I also wouldn’t want to discourage you from fighting for love, because like many songs have said; it’s worth fighting for “You have to be willing to give up what you’ve got to get what you want, if it’s not working for you now then what makes you think it will ever work.” Enjoy Well it’s about time I wrapped this up The main thing I would hope people take away from the book is that you deserve to be happy, and not just settle for anything or anyone When it comes down to it, we’re all part of the same species and so we all have the same ability and capability to as well as one another in all aspects of our lives No one has an advantage, some people just realise that they are entitled to anything they want You just have to be willing to put the effort in to get it Relationships are amazing things and with the right attitude and mindset you can set yourself up to have the time of your life in any relationship I strongly believe that if you know what you want and you are willing to wait until you’ve got it, then there is no reason that using the tips in this book wouldn’t lead you to the best relationship of your life when you get what you want If you enjoyed reading this book, please don’t hesitate to go to my page on the Amazon Kindle Store to check out my other published books Also, reviews are very useful to me as they help me to improve my books and also positive reviews help my books get noticed You can find the page on the links below, although I understand that older versions of kindle are not able to use links so a simple search in the kindle store for “Stephen Robinson Psychology” will bring a list of my most popular titles: For readers in the US: http://goo.gl/7UiI9 For readers in the UK: http://goo.gl/Wu1n4 ... attracting them, like I said that’s for another book There are certain do’s and don’ts that can make or break a relationship that many people just don’t realise The repercussions of actions and. .. and starting again Arguments happen and you need to deal with that What makes the relationship work is how these arguments actually affect you both If you can accept them as arguments and get... this relationship and not have everything hanging over your head all of the time is come clean ASAP You’re going to have to come clean as soon as you can and accept that whatever happens is always